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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have kicked them out?

261 replies

upsideup · 07/08/2018 16:24

Friend has gone on holiday for the first time without her 14 and 16 year old dd's, they didn't want to be left home alone overnight so we agreed they could stay here. We were told that they would be no bother, would be out with friends or in their own house all day and we didn't need to provide meals as they had money to get their own (though we said we didn't mind giving them food), basically we were just giving them a bed in our house to sleep in.

They got here Saturday evening and are sharing dd2's room who was away but back tonight and was planning on sharing with DD1 for the rest of the week. They had trashed her room within an few hours of getting here, gone through all of her stuff, chucked her clothes onto the floor and just made a mess. We had to take out all of dd's private/precious stuff out of the room so they couldn't go through it or destroy it anymore. DD has an en suite, I told them to keep and use their makeup in there as the bedroom has white walls and a white carpet. I looked last night and both their makeup bags were on the white carpet surrounded by loads of makeup stains and there's also what I hope is makeup smeared down the wall. The bathroom and bedroom are just an absolute mess.

They didn't got out at all Sunday or Monday day and just stayed in dds room watching TV, they've helped themselves to food and refused any of the meals I've offered to cook them and have just ordered themselves takeaways to eat in dd's bedroom even though I asked them to eat it downstairs. Whenever I have tried to talk to them they've been blunt and rude, when my kids have tried to speak to them they have been rude to them, they swore at my 4 year old because he was annoying them. When physically fighting with each other in front of 3 year they accidentally pushed her over onto the bench and cut her lip.

They went out last night and came back at 11pm with alcohol and several friends , who we didn't let. It would take to long to list all the things they've done wrong but they've just been a nightmare. So when they got up today at half two I told them to go home, they started to apologise but quickly started getting really angry and stormed out without most of their stuff. I'm not planning on letting them back in here but friend has said to please let them back, that I can't take back my offer and leave them home alone.

I'm not being unreasonable to have kicked them out, am I?
They're not small kids and will hopefully fine, although they probably will trash friends house which I do feel bad about.

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 08/08/2018 19:26

How can you be sure that the apology is 'gold dust'?

I'm sure the girls were very, very, sorry they had nowhere to go that night, and that the gravy train had well and truly ended.

But sorry for destroying someone else's house, genuinely upsetting someone who'd been kind to them, and hurting a child......?

PatheticNurse · 11/08/2018 12:21

@upsideup - update?

BruceAndNosh · 11/08/2018 12:27

@upsideup - update?

Amazing that on a thread about manners that someone can be so rude.
No "please"?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 11/08/2018 12:33

OP, I would call a locksmith to the girls' home so that they have somewhere to stay tonight. Mum can have the bill when she returns.

I wouldn't have the back in my home; getting them into their own should sidestep this issue for you.

upsideup · 13/08/2018 13:36

No update sorry. She got back on saturday and I havent heard from her and don't really want to.
I maybe should but I'm not going to chase her for money or a proper apology, we've got the stains out of the carpet and dd wanted her walls to be repainted pink anyway.

OP posts:
longwayoff · 13/08/2018 13:56

Good luck upside, well rid.

C0untDucku1a · 13/08/2018 14:01

What a disgrace. Id still send round a bill for replainting and floor cleaning, without expecting anything, just so the mother is clear about the damage caused.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 13/08/2018 15:46

I havent heard from her and don't really want to

Very wise Smile I imagine you already know you'd get nothing out of her, except perhaps a whine about how "her holiday was spoiled over nothing at all"

And at least you've dodged a bullet for the future ...

lightonthewater · 14/08/2018 19:02

That'll be the end of that 'friendship' , I assume.

NewUserNameTime · 14/08/2018 21:49

Shocking

JustWrong · 24/08/2018 19:13

Think my username speaks for me! 😮

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