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Original poster

Who was being UR re camping behaviour?

269 replies

ijustneedagoodnightssleep · 07/08/2018 13:55

Currently camping in France. One of the things I love about French campsites is that they are usually lovely and quiet after 11pm.

A couple of nights ago, I got back to my pitch with DH and DD (6) at about 11.30, after some stargazing, then teeth cleaned etc. As we approached it, new people were arriving at the pitch next door. I admit my heart sank, as it meant some noise for a while as they got themselves to a point where they could go to bed (they had a large caravan, we're in a tent).
It was obvious that we were heading to bed to sleep.

They sent their three kids to play in the playground directly across from our pitches (no instructions to play quietly and their smallest had a very loud voice), then proceeded to bang, beep, rustle and talk for well over an hour)

At 12am, my DD (not encouraged by me!) shouted "shut up!"

She couldn't get to sleep and kept complaining to me about the noise. At 12.45am, after my DD had complained to me again, and they started rustling (what turned out to be a large tent) literally right outside the back of my tent, I said loudly "are you going to be much longer as it's nearly 1am and you've been doing this for long time now". They went quiet after that, thank god!

The next day, the woman approached DH, said sorry they'ed been loud, had been delayed etc BUT we needed to tell DD of for being rude, as apparently she'd approached them earlier and told them off for being noisy!!!!

When we asked DD what happened, she said that she'd gone up to the dad in the playground and said "you were very noisy last night", he'd replied "that was a very grown up thing to say".

So, should we have told DD off? Should I be more understanding? Or should they at least have had the courtesy to approach us when they got here to apologise about the inevitable noise, and try and keep it to a minimum?

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/08/2018 18:05

The child was just being honest though.
The child was perfectly reasonable to speak out according to a lot of you.

What's that stop her in future saying something unkind if she thinks she can speak like that to anyone?

Faez · 08/08/2018 18:05

It was one evening of setting up, yes they were a bit inconsiderate but I don't see the need to get so agitated. It's caused far more stress by making it an issue. Your child shouldn't be yelling shut up at anyone nor chastising adults. I'd think she was a brat.

AFigTree · 08/08/2018 18:05

Elephant 14

**Once again to me this is along the lines of females being taught not to say anything and be quiet and accept their lot etc., good for her standing up for herself.

Yes. That is exactly what it reminds me of.

HellenaHandbasket · 08/08/2018 18:06

Why would she grow up to be unkind? What an odd extrapolation.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/08/2018 18:07

Bollocks. This wouldn't matter if the child was a boy.

AFigTree · 08/08/2018 18:08

GreatDuck

So children should not say honest things to adults because it is hypothetically possible for a child to say something unkind, even though most honest comments are not unkind? Makes no sense.

AlexaAmbidextra · 08/08/2018 18:08

My dd openly puts her hands over her mouth and makes a big fuss whenever she goes past someone smoking

Interesting you should say that. In the days when I smoked I was at a garden centre one hot Sunday morning. Decided to have a cold drink and a cigarette while leaning against my car which was parked a good 20 yards from the nearest vehicle. Family with a child of about five walked towards this other car and the small girl veered off towards me. Parents and I assume GPs just watched her as she came up to me, stuck her chest out, crossed her arms and said loudly ‘I don’t like smoking’. To which I replied ‘And I don’t like rude little girls’ at which point she ran back to her family, lip quivering. Dad shouted over to me, ‘was that necessary? She’s only a child.’ I replied that now then was the time to teach her some manners as if she carries on like that when she’s older she might end up with a smack in the mouth. Precocious, rude children may one day remonstrate with the wrong person.

Bitlost · 08/08/2018 18:08

I’d probably tell DD to put a lid on it.

IceCreamFace · 08/08/2018 18:10

"shut up" is obviously slighty rude and I'd tell my 6 year old not to phrase it like that ("please be quiet" is better). Obviously it's unnecessary and (unwise since they're strangers) to approach them again the next day and still talk about them being noisy - but it's a normal thing for a 6 year old to say. I would say "well I can see why you wanted to tell them they were too noisy but we shouldn't keep nagging them about it - unless they do it again".

All in all surely it's not a big deal - I think the loud campers were more rude than the 6 year old child but then you have more control over the 6 year old than strangers in a camp site.

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 08/08/2018 18:11

I applaud your DD and it would be a real
shame if she was made to feel guilty/cowed over this. Maybe gently steer her a little more tact but she was absolutely right.

goldface · 08/08/2018 18:13

But the other campers weren't being noisy out of choice! They weren't having a party or sitting up drinking and chatting. They were late arriving and had kids of their own. As someone else said, maybe it would have been nice, seeing as you were awake, to offer to help them set up so everyone could have got to sleep sooner?

lapenguin · 08/08/2018 18:14

They weren't very considerate, but at the same time they may have had a terrible journey.
It's horrible having to set up while you're exhausted!
They may have needed to put the awning up for a reason? Was one of the kids sleeping in it?
They had three (I think you said three?) kids in the car for god knows how many hours, yes it's a little rude for them to go to the play area at that time, especially if they can't at least be quiet, but at the same time they probably had lots of pent up energy and would have made loads of noises playing around in the caravan until 2 in the morning, they also would have been under their parents feet as they tried to set up, which would have made more noise! At least they weren't right next to you playing. They had made loads of noise as they were trying to set up quickly. If you found it that difficult to sleep then you could have offered them a hand.
If you're that disturbed by some rustling then maybe a tent isn't for you.
Just let it all slide
It was one night. If they keep making noise at stupid times then that's when everyone can get annoyed at eachother. For now it's not needed.
Fwiw her dh may have thought it was more rude considering they heard her shout shut up the night before, he may have sensed an attitude about her

Witchend · 08/08/2018 18:14

If you arrived back at 11:30 (almost certainly disturbing others who went to bed at 9pm) then by midnight I doubt your dd had been in bed more than quarter of an hour.

If you'd gone to bed at 9pm, then your dd would have probably been asleep and wouldn't have been disturbed by them.

Her behaviour does sound somewhat immature. By 6yo I would expect them to have awareness that shouting "shut up" is rude-and may have disturbed others, and that going up to someone else afterwards and saying "you were noisy" is also rude.
At 3yo, I might be a little amused (but explain to them quietly this isn't appropriate behaviour) but by 6yo definitely know that wasn't an acceptable way of approaching the situation.

SmellMyBeads · 08/08/2018 18:15

Your DD sounds like a little Madam! Her parents need to get better jobs and stay in hotels if noise pisses them off so much. Grin

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

HellenaHandbasket · 08/08/2018 18:16

Wow, aren't you a delight AlexaAmbidextra

AlexaAmbidextra · 08/08/2018 18:30

Hellena. Yes, I can be quite delightful until confronted by a rude child poking her nose into my business while her family watch thinking it’s cute.

rubyroot · 08/08/2018 18:34

Don't know why this is seen to be rude (or not on) for a 6 year old, this insinuates that it is okay for older people?!

Surely, rudeness is rudeness and politeness is politeness whatever the age.

I think your daughter sounds great.

Although for her protection, it may be worth speaking to her about this as she may encounter less than pleasant individuals in the future.

manicmij · 08/08/2018 18:34

Your daughter probably said that by way of a recognition of the Dad ie he was the one making a noise. Adult would probably has added a bit of sympathy expressing how annoying it would be to be held up and know you were going to be annoying folk. The noisy lot should have approached you to at least express some kind of apology beforehand. Your DD was not out of order.

NCasIknowMNetters · 08/08/2018 18:36

A lesson in sarcasm and irony might help her find better ways to express herself. You can't start that too early.

TeddybearBaby · 08/08/2018 18:40

I wouldn’t like it. I just don’t think children have the capacity to understand ‘adult’ lives and have no business commenting in this way.

I had trouble with my DS last year because he found his teacher so unfair - I told him he doesn’t have to like her but he has to have respect and that’s that tbh. He would say ‘why, she doesn’t respect me!!’ It was a whole thing 😩

I don’t think you need to go overboard but I defo wouldn’t be impressed.

IceCreamFace · 08/08/2018 18:45

GreatDuckCookery

The difference between calling someone noisy and fat is that being noisy affects everyone else and you can reasonably ask people to remedy that. If someone is fat telling them so has no motive other than to make them feel bad.

NCasIknowMNetters · 08/08/2018 18:47

Alexa I'm a non-smoker and I think that allowing a child to go out of her way to lecture a smoker is pathetic.

Yes dear, how nice that you r'e family feels that way and think it's cute to allow you to tell people off. Now off you fuck...

Mine might comment their own opinion on smoking if they get a face full of it walking behind a smoker; something along the lines off 'ergh, I don't like smoke' and DD1 at 6 pointed out the no smoking sign a vaper was sitting under in a children's play area a couple of years ago, again after a huge cloud had wafted over her. But I have smoking friends and we have a live and let live approach.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/08/2018 18:49

But they're still being honest Icecream. If children aren't told not to speak out how are they to know when it's unkind or not.

Cauliflowersqueeze · 08/08/2018 18:51

Alexa I agree with you.

ISpeakJive · 08/08/2018 18:55

My DD is 7, nearly 8 and would never allow her to use the words ‘shut up’. It is rude.
Would you accept her saying that to you if she disapproved of something you were doing??

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