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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who was being UR re camping behaviour?

269 replies

ijustneedagoodnightssleep · 07/08/2018 13:55

Currently camping in France. One of the things I love about French campsites is that they are usually lovely and quiet after 11pm.

A couple of nights ago, I got back to my pitch with DH and DD (6) at about 11.30, after some stargazing, then teeth cleaned etc. As we approached it, new people were arriving at the pitch next door. I admit my heart sank, as it meant some noise for a while as they got themselves to a point where they could go to bed (they had a large caravan, we're in a tent).
It was obvious that we were heading to bed to sleep.

They sent their three kids to play in the playground directly across from our pitches (no instructions to play quietly and their smallest had a very loud voice), then proceeded to bang, beep, rustle and talk for well over an hour)

At 12am, my DD (not encouraged by me!) shouted "shut up!"

She couldn't get to sleep and kept complaining to me about the noise. At 12.45am, after my DD had complained to me again, and they started rustling (what turned out to be a large tent) literally right outside the back of my tent, I said loudly "are you going to be much longer as it's nearly 1am and you've been doing this for long time now". They went quiet after that, thank god!

The next day, the woman approached DH, said sorry they'ed been loud, had been delayed etc BUT we needed to tell DD of for being rude, as apparently she'd approached them earlier and told them off for being noisy!!!!

When we asked DD what happened, she said that she'd gone up to the dad in the playground and said "you were very noisy last night", he'd replied "that was a very grown up thing to say".

So, should we have told DD off? Should I be more understanding? Or should they at least have had the courtesy to approach us when they got here to apologise about the inevitable noise, and try and keep it to a minimum?

OP posts:

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 09/08/2018 07:37

Yes, knobbish IMO too. It was saying 'how dare you, a mere child, talk to an adult like that'. I would not encourage my child to do the same, but I have no patience whatsoever with the adult self-importance evident in this remark and a lot of the posts here. I see the word 'precocious' has been wheeled out. Which implies there is something particularly rude and wrong about a child speaking like this because she is a child. I prefer to bring my children up to not make rude (or could-be-construed-as-rude) or unnecessary remarks to anyone and to know that it's not OK for anyone to be rude to them.

Iamgreyhound, I have reported your horrible post.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/08/2018 07:46

Given the child had told him to shut up the night previously imo he wasn't a knob to then say her comment was grown up.

IloveJudgeJudy · 09/08/2018 09:26

As a PP said, it's all very well encouraging your DC to talk like an adult to adults, but then you can't take umbrage if they get an adult response in return. You can't really have one without the other.

LemonysSnicket · 09/08/2018 09:55

Your DD was rude. I've had people do what she did and been louder in response. Did you expect them to sleep on the floor? They had to set up camp..

daffodillament · 09/08/2018 10:03

Camping is stressful at the best of times. Maybe they had a long journey and just wanted to get sorted asap. You all sound a bit rude to be honest especially the 6 yr old ! Ffs !!! Though that outburst was prob brought on by your attitude to events !

XiCi · 09/08/2018 10:04

Of course shouting shut up was rude. They weren't having a party they were trying to set up beds for the night. I imagine their day had been stressful enough with all the delays without being shouted at twice by the next tent. You should be ashamed and if you're that sensitive to noise get some earplugs.
Actually you've done me a favour as I was considering a campsite for next year but not being able to speak after 11pm sounds an unbearably shit holiday so I'll be giving that a miss!

Honflyr · 09/08/2018 10:05

They were noisy. Your DD pointed out that fact. It's hardly rude.

Honflyr · 09/08/2018 10:08

"You were very nosiy last night" isn't a "very grown-up" thing to say. . Wtf

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/08/2018 10:12

It's rude to shout shut up. And a 6 year old telling a stranger that they were noisy last night is equally as rude and very precocious.

She was lucky that's all she got from the man, some people would have been much harsher to her in response. Being only 6 I doubt she could have handled that very well too.

FlintyBadman · 09/08/2018 10:13

Did you expect them to sleep on the floor? They had to set up camp..

Lemony - the OP says they arrived in a caravan. I'm guessing the tent rustling sund was them trying to put up an awning which could have waited until the next day.

FlintyBadman · 09/08/2018 10:14

sound

PorkFlute · 09/08/2018 10:46

He said it was a grown up thing to say because no 6 yr old would be bothered about chastising someone for noise the day after in a playground unless their parents had been slagging them off in front of them.

I’m sure there are other campers who feel the 6yo was very noisy screaming shut up which may have woken them but the op doesn’t seem concerned about that?

livefornaps · 09/08/2018 11:13

Yeah I think you're gping to have a nightmare 'honest' teen on your hands if you don't watch out.

Send her to bed at 9pm tonight.

FatToni · 09/08/2018 11:28

when a paediatrician had kept us waiting at a regional hospital for two hours 'because the traffic was bad' (no other patients on the list..), my then 6 year old piped up, "We've come all the way from .. - a hour away - and we managed to get here on time!" I couldn't help but smile and inwardly congratulate him!

Your 6 year old is rude and cheeky. You're worse for encouraging him.

And by the by...a friend of mine is a Dr. When she's late for a planned appointment and it's clear the people are pissed off she gives all kinds of trite reasons with her apology...traffic/appointment systems etc. It's often nicer than telling people she's late because the two year old she's been treating just died.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/08/2018 11:43

Exactly FatToni. No doctor would divulge why they had actually been late due to a whole host of reasons. Some of them probably very distressing.

Autumn72 · 09/08/2018 11:50

I don't think it is rude. She told the truth, they were noisy.

Strongmummy · 09/08/2018 12:11

Kids don’t get nuance; it needs to be taught. It’s your job to teach it OP. Therefore a child’s bluntness with adults is inappropriate as they won’t have a full grasp of a situation

buckeejit · 13/08/2018 08:22

I still don't think the child was rude to say 'you were noisy last night'. Nor do I think it's a grown up thing to say. I'm surprised how many people think she said it because she heard parents moaning.

We don't know if there were any delays for the other party arriving

OP, any updates, or has all been going smoothly with the neighbours so far since?

Sweetpea55 · 13/08/2018 08:54

I think you need to teach your child some manners. And as bad for not correcting him

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