Who was being UR re camping behaviour?

[ijustneedagoodnightssleep]

Currently camping in France. One of the things I love about French campsites is that they are usually lovely and quiet after 11pm.

A couple of nights ago, I got back to my pitch with DH and DD (6) at about 11.30, after some stargazing, then teeth cleaned etc. As we approached it, new people were arriving at the pitch next door. I admit my heart sank, as it meant some noise for a while as they got themselves to a point where they could go to bed (they had a large caravan, we're in a tent).
It was obvious that we were heading to bed to sleep.

They sent their three kids to play in the playground directly across from our pitches (no instructions to play quietly and their smallest had a very loud voice), then proceeded to bang, beep, rustle and talk for well over an hour)

At 12am, my DD (not encouraged by me!) shouted "shut up!"

She couldn't get to sleep and kept complaining to me about the noise. At 12.45am, after my DD had complained to me again, and they started rustling (what turned out to be a large tent) literally right outside the back of my tent, I said loudly "are you going to be much longer as it's nearly 1am and you've been doing this for long time now". They went quiet after that, thank god!

The next day, the woman approached DH, said sorry they'ed been loud, had been delayed etc BUT we needed to tell DD of for being rude, as apparently she'd approached them earlier and told them off for being noisy!!!!

When we asked DD what happened, she said that she'd gone up to the dad in the playground and said "you were very noisy last night", he'd replied "that was a very grown up thing to say".

So, should we have told DD off? Should I be more understanding? Or should they at least have had the courtesy to approach us when they got here to apologise about the inevitable noise, and try and keep it to a minimum?

I think we all know that shouting that is rude but at 1am when you're knackered and inconsiderate people are making a racket your social graces tend to fly out of the window

Hmm not really but anyway. Besides add the fact the girl approached the Dad the next to tell him his family were noisy the night before just tells me that this child is rude and is allowed to speak to adults in any way she pleases.

The OP will be back in a few years pulling her hair out.

Telling anyone to shut up is rude at any age but at 6 it is shocking.
They were delayed with children who had probably been in the car for hours and needed to let off some steam whilst the poor parents struggled with the set up in the dark.
You have only one child to cope with who with 2 parents continually fawning over her, does sound a bit pompous for a 6 year old. I wouldn't have allowed my children to speak to an adult in that manner so yes, YABU and should have cut the poor family a little slack.

I must admit my camping experience is not on public campsites, but if I saw someone arrive late and I was still up my initial reaction would be to say Hi, would normally in that process discover why they were so late and offer to help. An extra couple of pairs of hands could have made it all a lot quicker, wouldn't have disturbed you as you would have been up and would have been a kind gesture.

I don't live in a MN bubble, I just think helping others out when you can is a nice thing to do.

I don't think she meant to be rude.

My 5yo once went up to a man he saw smoking and said happily "Hello! Did you know that will slowly kill you? " 😳😁

They do tend to just repeat what they've heard.

I can say with complete certainty that everyone was being unreasonable

The unreasonable thing is camping. It's not normal. I'd have to be paid a considerable amount of money to do it. It's hardly a wonder that people are being unreasonable when camping when by definition only unreasonable people do it

I'm particularly enjoying the OP hot-housing the DD in unreasonableness. Some people take years to work up to this - oh no - not the OP's DD - she's a fast learner.

I agree I wouldn't normally allow my DC to tell anyone to shut up, it sounds like she was v tired by then though and frustrated at being kept awake by inconsiderate people.

@Noodledoodledoo The new arrivals were in a caravan. They didn't need to set up an additional tent until the morning. I'm sure the OP would have been happy to help them out then (if they needed help) but not at 11pm when she was going to bed.

@GreatDuckCookery I wish I had your patience. Sometimes the "shut up shut up SHUT UP!" running round in your head can finally escape through your mouth if you're tired and people aren't being considerate. I do agree that she was rather precocious to approach them they day after and comment about it though.

I think your DD was spot on. She was honest not rude. I think the CFs giving no fucking consideration to others at that time of night was incredibly rude!

Finty if we blurted out "SHUT UP" to everyone that got on our nerves I reckon we'd be in trouble. Things get on top of all of us and I'm guessing in this situation a 6 year old wasn't really that bothered by her noisy neighbours but was listening to her parents and probably joining in the conversation about how terrible they were and felt she had the back up from her parents to say what she did.

The same with what she said the day after.

I wouldn't give a shit about the opinion of my dc's manners from someone who thinks it is acceptable to tell their kids to go and play in a playground on a campsite at 11.30pm.

What a bunch of inconsiderate twats.

If they arrived in a caravan not a tent I don't know what setting up they even required. I've spent 7 weeks in a campervan and there's not alot to do at that time if night other than to plug it in to the power and water source.

They should have been able to pipe down and go to bed after 10-15 mins.

Finty if we blurted out "SHUT UP" to everyone that got on our nerves I reckon we'd be in trouble.

Oh god yes, I'd be saying it on a loop without having some filters!

Thing is, I can keep a polite veneer on things 99.9% of the time. If I were on my holiday, trying to get to sleep and the people in a caravan were needlessly trying to put up a tent at 1am then I think I might blow. A six year old doesn't have the social conditioning that I have and will probably 'blow' faster.

I'm sure most people have reached a point where they have had enough and blurted out what's in their head at some time in their lives.

Yep, I hear what you're saying. As adults though we have to accept the consequences to those brain farts don't we? Another adult might tell us to shut up back or worse. But we're grown up and can deal with that.

Children can't. You're not doing your children any favours by allowing them to speak like that to anyone.

good for your DD
a woman after my own heart
never let anyone walk all over you or dismiss you as if you don’t matter !!
plus she’s probably heard you complaining about them all night and morning and thought
fuck it i’m going to tell them off myself !!!!!

Children can't. You're not doing your children any favours by allowing them to speak like that to anyone.

I would forgive the "shut up" comment due to the circumstances, though I'd probably have got in first with a more polite request for some peace and quiet.

The comment on the following day, yes I would have told the child that they were rude. Most children would have pretty much forgotten about it by then to be honest so I think you could be right re: parental influence.

i hope your working out ways you can get your own back in the noisy campers for the rest of your trip
ha ha cackle

I think we're on the same page Finty

@GreatDuckCookery Yass!

My ten year old would still do this now. I always make it clear that it is not his worry to try and sort out anything like this and that it is not ok for children to speak like this to adults. However, when a paediatrician had kept us waiting at a regional hospital for two hours 'because the traffic was bad' (no other patients on the list..), my then 6 year old piped up, "We've come all the way from .. - a hour away - and we managed to get here on time!" I couldn't help but smile and inwardly congratulate him!

it sounds like she was v tired by then though and frustrated at being kept awake by inconsiderate people

At most she had been in the tent ready for bed for half an hour

“That was a very grown up thing to say,” is a really knobbish remark. He’s quick witted though if he intended it as pp suggested.

Honours equally divided here. They were inconsiderate but DD’s forthrightness was rude although I kind of love her for it.

Let it go.

Really WontBeUsingPassMyParcelAgain?
What do you expect that consultant had been doing to keep you waiting then? Lazy lunch? Having a nap in his office? FFS.

Your son was very rude, he must take after you I guess.

“That was a very grown up thing to say,” is a really knobbish remark. He’s quick witted though if he intended it as pp suggested

I don't think it was a knobbish remark. I think he was pretty constrained considering.

I think you were rude coming back to the campsites past 11 and having a dd shouting out shut up and disturbing other campers.

my then 6 year old piped up, "We've come all the way from .. - a hour away - and we managed to get here on time!" I couldn't help but smile and inwardly congratulate him!

Congratulate him on being rude and insulting? Because that is what he was.

Of course if you hadn't encountered traffic on the way to the hospital, no one else could possibly have had any delays in their car journey