Who was being UR re camping behaviour?

[ijustneedagoodnightssleep]

Currently camping in France. One of the things I love about French campsites is that they are usually lovely and quiet after 11pm.

A couple of nights ago, I got back to my pitch with DH and DD (6) at about 11.30, after some stargazing, then teeth cleaned etc. As we approached it, new people were arriving at the pitch next door. I admit my heart sank, as it meant some noise for a while as they got themselves to a point where they could go to bed (they had a large caravan, we're in a tent).
It was obvious that we were heading to bed to sleep.

They sent their three kids to play in the playground directly across from our pitches (no instructions to play quietly and their smallest had a very loud voice), then proceeded to bang, beep, rustle and talk for well over an hour)

At 12am, my DD (not encouraged by me!) shouted "shut up!"

She couldn't get to sleep and kept complaining to me about the noise. At 12.45am, after my DD had complained to me again, and they started rustling (what turned out to be a large tent) literally right outside the back of my tent, I said loudly "are you going to be much longer as it's nearly 1am and you've been doing this for long time now". They went quiet after that, thank god!

The next day, the woman approached DH, said sorry they'ed been loud, had been delayed etc BUT we needed to tell DD of for being rude, as apparently she'd approached them earlier and told them off for being noisy!!!!

When we asked DD what happened, she said that she'd gone up to the dad in the playground and said "you were very noisy last night", he'd replied "that was a very grown up thing to say".

So, should we have told DD off? Should I be more understanding? Or should they at least have had the courtesy to approach us when they got here to apologise about the inevitable noise, and try and keep it to a minimum?

Ilove I told DD off for shouting out, at the time, and I also told her that she shouldn't have said anything to the man, once we found out she'd done it.
All the campsites I've been to, so far, have been strict about noise levels between 11-8. You can sit and have a quiet chat, but no music / running around etc. And the majority of people seem to adhere to this. Camping in the UK is a completely different sorry, IME.

Bluntness I said that in my OP, though, that they'd said "sorry...but". Maybe it wasn't clear enough. It's hard to get the tone across basically she didn't come over to apologise, she came over to complain about DD approaching her husband.

I can't be doing with outspoken children. At 6 years old she needs reigning in OP.

I like children who are outspoken but not rude. It's different.

I find the two often go hand in hand.

I would gently explain to her that she needs to leave those discussions to the adults. I would not tell her off for shouting "shut up" at all. At 1am I'm surprised she wasn't in tears - how very inconsiderate of the other family.

Yes most adults would take umbrage being told off effectively by a precocious six year old.

I think in this instance you need to reign her in OP. Their has been unreasonableness on both parts hopefully you can both put this behind you and both enjoy your holidays. Like you we probably go to bed a similar time if not earlier and would expect to sleep but obviously everyone has different values and standards.

I think it’s your job to teach your daughter about what is and isn’t appropriate for her to say. Sometimes bluntness like that can be perceived as rather rude or precocious (even if your neighbours were inconsiderate).

Idonteatfriedturtle
It is perfectly possible to do both. Do you otherwise struggle with parenting?

I don't understand- are you saying that because I questioned what you said I'm a bad parent? I do sometimes struggle, yes, but I assumed most of us did at some point. Maybe I'm more incompetent than I realised.

Torch it

Tbh I think I would have just been lenient accepted the disturbance since they arrived so late. If there was noise the next evening then maybe I'd have had a tactful word. You''re on holiday so don't want to be falling out with people unnecessarily.
I know you say your dd shouted 'shut up' without encouragement but I doubt you had said nothing about the noise which was annoying you so much. So even if you didn't actually tell her to shout out you still encouraged it.
And if rustling from a tent keeps you from sleeping that makes me wonder how loud the rest actually was. Maybe camping so close to other families isn't the best idea.

I think your daughter was rude when she shouted out 'shut up' in the middle of the night.
She was stating a fact when she told the Dad he was very noisy.
I would tell her that shouting out was not ideal but you should have gone out and asked them to keep it down earlier.
Don't tell her off for telling the man he was noisy, she was totally accurate and this isn't rude.

Why shouldn't a child be outspoken? Are we back in the "seen but not heard" era?

Hellena no but shouting "shut up" is not outspoken but rude. And approaching adults you don't know when you're SIX is just stupid. The child isn't stupid but she should know not to do that...but someone's not taught her that!

Just been wild woods camping with dh, group of early 20's lads quite nearby, having a few cans and actually quiet banter. All good.
Except one had a cough.
A bad cough.
All night.
Told him to shut up the second night - his mates laughed. He apologised the next morning, he looked quite poorly tbh. Should have stayed home imo!!

I'd have been shouting "shut up" if I'd been there, too!

The latecomers were entirely inconsiderate of anybody else's needs. Your daughter was quite simply holding a mirror up to their behaviour and they didn't like to see their own reflection in it.

Good for her!

You’re DD sounds like me when I was a kid. I spoke to grown-ups as if I was one myself!

It’s not rude or too “grown up” to tell someone who is noisy that they are noisy. When I was a kid I didn’t understand (and as an adult I still don’t to be honest) why grown ups should be treated any more respectfully just because they’ve lived longer.

What's that saying "out of the mouths of babes"

I don't like it when chn get too outspoken but I'd hate it more if she grew up like a lot of us, not confident at dealing with people who disrespect her.

I think I would let the campsite owner know how disturbed you were. I think they should have advised your neighbours to be quiet and as you say, they didn't need to put the tent up then.

Would you be happy if your dc told their teacher to shut up, all those who think this girl was in the right?

If the teacher had been rude to my child, then yes.

Nobody was rude to this child. And you'd really not be bothered by your young child telling a teacher to shut up?

I did already answer the question.

So your child is sat reading or whatever and two teachers are talking in the corridor outside, so child shouts “shut up” and then finds the teachers later on to tell them they were being noisy, and you wouldn’t expect any consequences?

If the teacher had been rude to my child, then yes.

I pity teachers