Who was being UR re camping behaviour?

[ijustneedagoodnightssleep]

Currently camping in France. One of the things I love about French campsites is that they are usually lovely and quiet after 11pm.

A couple of nights ago, I got back to my pitch with DH and DD (6) at about 11.30, after some stargazing, then teeth cleaned etc. As we approached it, new people were arriving at the pitch next door. I admit my heart sank, as it meant some noise for a while as they got themselves to a point where they could go to bed (they had a large caravan, we're in a tent).
It was obvious that we were heading to bed to sleep.

They sent their three kids to play in the playground directly across from our pitches (no instructions to play quietly and their smallest had a very loud voice), then proceeded to bang, beep, rustle and talk for well over an hour)

At 12am, my DD (not encouraged by me!) shouted "shut up!"

She couldn't get to sleep and kept complaining to me about the noise. At 12.45am, after my DD had complained to me again, and they started rustling (what turned out to be a large tent) literally right outside the back of my tent, I said loudly "are you going to be much longer as it's nearly 1am and you've been doing this for long time now". They went quiet after that, thank god!

The next day, the woman approached DH, said sorry they'ed been loud, had been delayed etc BUT we needed to tell DD of for being rude, as apparently she'd approached them earlier and told them off for being noisy!!!!

When we asked DD what happened, she said that she'd gone up to the dad in the playground and said "you were very noisy last night", he'd replied "that was a very grown up thing to say".

So, should we have told DD off? Should I be more understanding? Or should they at least have had the courtesy to approach us when they got here to apologise about the inevitable noise, and try and keep it to a minimum?

Yelling out 'Shut up' is rude and your dd needs to learn some manners when dealing with others. It is far more polite to shout out 'Please keep the noise down, we are trying to sleep.'

Personally at 6 I think she was bang out of order walking up to them and telling them they were noisy. Luckily the man was polite to her, another adult might have told her exactly where to go.

you think that might be embarrassing, then that is why it is rude. it is bad mannered to make others feel uncomfortable, let alone a child to an adult

Being called out on bad behaviour is embarrassing. Does that mean we should let people walk all over us so as not to embarrass?

I don't think you can expect to sleep in a flimsy tent, and not hear people outside.

As for the 6 year old being rude to adults, wow, I wonder what she'll be like as a teen if you don't parent her?

I think if the little girl had been back more than 30 mins, shouting shut up may have been more understandable ie if she was being disturbed for a length of time, she could only have got into her sleeping bag a few mins before.

I do wonder if she heard you guys talking and so thought it was a good thing to do. Otherwise, possibly keeping her out until 11.30 is just too late for her and she was tired and over wrought, so reacted badly.

Chn shouldn't tell adults off when their parents/carers are in charge. The family hadn't done anything bad enough to warrant it.

There may have been chn in bed at 9 when you wandered back at 11.30pm that may have been disturbed.

Does that mean we should let people walk all over us so as not to embarrass?
The family were delayed. It's not like a regular thing they are doing every night. no point in getting in a fuss about it. Earplugs when camping are a must!

Your child was rude imo

Your daughter would've pissed me off for sure . I can't bear cheeky kids .

no offence but your DD sounds like the kind of kid i really don't like a rude, obnoxious listening too adult talk and repeating it. This would never be allowed in my house. cant go kids that talk and act like adults.

You need a UK camping and caravanning site op. Gates locked at 11pm, so they would just have had to lump it.
The late family were very rude by making a lot of noise for so long. They could have bedded down in their caravan or car seats and then set up properly in the morning.
My response to them complaining would be "Well what do you expect? We've all had disturbed sleep."

OP's daughter was rude, by shouting out shut up and then by telling off the neighborhood campers the following day. OP should have explained this to her DD when the DD shouted out to the people who'd just arrived.

OP is BU if she doesn't think her DD has acted rudely. The neighbors did not need telling off and any quiet word about the noise (which personally I don't think was necessary) should have been adult to adult.

Caravan family were rude by arsing about with the awning. That could have waited until the morning. I think they deserve what they get after being so inconsiderate. It’s not their fault they’ve been delayed but they just need to unhitch, put the legs down, plug in electricity and go to bed. Would take five mins, ten if they’re slow.

Sorry but have sneaking admiration for your dd I detest noisy selfish people.

We had a similar thing with our 9 year old, "good" girl, always polite, careful and quiet. We were staying with 5 other families extremely basic accommodation like camping but not owned by farmer who lived on site. His farm dog kept escaping running onto our part, attempting to attack the dogs we had with us and terrifying one of the kids who is really scared of dogs by snapping at us. We did that middle class " no problem" thing until the third time when the dog raced in again and really went for my friend's little dog. The farmer came again to retrieve her dd jumped up and said loudly but firmly "you must keep that dog OFF our property he is upsetting us!". All us adults said nothing and didn't remonstrate with dd at all. Dog not seen again. I was proud tbh.

Not rude at all for me. Clear, assertive and consice. What more do you need to point out inconsiderate behaviour.

I bollocked a scrawny young lad for being rowdy the previous night. I asked if he could have possibly made any more noise and stomped off with dd leaving dp alseep in the tent. As i eent up the hill there were about 5-8 massive blokes in their party. I was thinking "sorry dp" came back to them chstting away after apologising profusely for the noise. They were likechurch mice the next night.

Hate inconsiderate fuckwits when camping but sadly theres always one

Kerala I think that’s very different (and good for your DD)

A mix of responses, I think! For what it's worth, when DD shouted "shut up!" I did say, loud-ish "you can't say that, it's rude. The people next door need to sort out their beds". So she did get chastised for that. It was a further 45mins till I said something (so 1hr 15mins after they arrived) and they finally did shut up. At that point they were putting up a tent that they really didn't need to get them through the first night.
They didn't have a go about her shouting shut up, though. What's riled me is that they didn't apologise to us. Obviously I would base it on what I would have
Done in that situation, which would be say sorry for the inevitable noise before we'd started, making every effort to keep kids as quiet as possible. And just do the basics required for the first night.
DH thinks they shouldn't have been allowed in at that time. Personally I think that's harsh as delays can happen to anyone.

I'm surprised campground reception let them through that late. don't they close check in at 8 or similar time?

if they are not quiet past curfey tonight let reception know. I have seen a family turfed out at midnight for unsocial behaviour (loud music and led lights on past 11pm)

Shouting shut up at any age is rude.
6 year olds approaching adults then telling adults off is also rude. She is lucky the man wasn’t rude, however “grown up thing to say” implies he thinks she heard it from a grown up anyway.

The next day, the woman approached DH, said sorry they'ed been loud, had been delayed etc

What's riled me is that they didn't apologise to us

Hmmm

OP, I think your DD was rude. Ok, so she was telling the truth, but it’s not always appropriate to do so (although at 6 I do understand that it’s a learning curve for her). I guess a lot depends on her tone of voice when she said it.

My DD had a friend at that age who would state the truth as she saw it, but in quite a dissaproving voice. I definitely found her to be rude. She once told me as I put tea on the table (which I hadn’t yet set) that some cutlery would be nice in a very hoity toity voice. She was correct, but rude! I really didn’t like her at all !

But eventually she learned to either be quiet, or ask politely . She’s now 13 and a lovely girl.

I have to say I've camped on many French campsites and what i like is that they're not all quiet at 11!

I think your DD was unspeakably rude as would anyone be, just shouting out. The family had been delayed for whatever reason. Ok, perhaps they needn't have sent their DC to the playground.

Your DD is only 6. Why on earth would you let her speak to adults like that? She'll have problems with others if she carries on being so blunt. I wouldn't have been rude back, as that's not my nature, especially not in the middle of the night, but I would have been seriously unimpressed. If she'd spoken to me the next day as you said she did, then that time would have been just as blunt back She may not have liked my response then.

A PP said only on MM would someone get out of bed to give a hand. Actually, ime on French campsites in particular, many fellow campers (we've both given and received) would help others to pitch.

Bluntness it was an "I'm sorry but..", which is not really an apology, is it?

Ok op, but you can see how that changes from "said sorry they were loud" and was misleading?