Who was being UR re camping behaviour?

[ijustneedagoodnightssleep]

Currently camping in France. One of the things I love about French campsites is that they are usually lovely and quiet after 11pm.

A couple of nights ago, I got back to my pitch with DH and DD (6) at about 11.30, after some stargazing, then teeth cleaned etc. As we approached it, new people were arriving at the pitch next door. I admit my heart sank, as it meant some noise for a while as they got themselves to a point where they could go to bed (they had a large caravan, we're in a tent).
It was obvious that we were heading to bed to sleep.

They sent their three kids to play in the playground directly across from our pitches (no instructions to play quietly and their smallest had a very loud voice), then proceeded to bang, beep, rustle and talk for well over an hour)

At 12am, my DD (not encouraged by me!) shouted "shut up!"

She couldn't get to sleep and kept complaining to me about the noise. At 12.45am, after my DD had complained to me again, and they started rustling (what turned out to be a large tent) literally right outside the back of my tent, I said loudly "are you going to be much longer as it's nearly 1am and you've been doing this for long time now". They went quiet after that, thank god!

The next day, the woman approached DH, said sorry they'ed been loud, had been delayed etc BUT we needed to tell DD of for being rude, as apparently she'd approached them earlier and told them off for being noisy!!!!

When we asked DD what happened, she said that she'd gone up to the dad in the playground and said "you were very noisy last night", he'd replied "that was a very grown up thing to say".

So, should we have told DD off? Should I be more understanding? Or should they at least have had the courtesy to approach us when they got here to apologise about the inevitable noise, and try and keep it to a minimum?

It sounds to me like your DD simply made a true statement. Why would anyone, whatever their age, be told not to say the truth.
No I wouldn't tell her off. She sounds confident and articulate. Good for her.

Out of the mouths of babes eh. Yes, a word about leaving things to the grown ups.
I'd probably have replied "Sorry, she shouldn't have said anything to you but she's tired and grumpy because obviously she didn't get much sleep last night"

Your daughter was rude. Do you really think it's OK for a 6 year old to yell out "Shut Up"? TBH I would think an adult doing that was rude, let alone a 6 year old.

Agree.
They were rude for making the noise and your DD was rude for shouting at them to shut up.

It sounds to me like your DD simply made a true statement. Why would anyone, whatever their age, be told not to say the truth

But would you say the same thing if if was a teacher she said that to? The DD could get in a world of trouble.

What are the regulations? Where I live (Canada) noise after 11pm gets you evicted the next day?

At 12am, my DD (not encouraged by me!) shouted "shut up!"

I'd be more inclined to speak to her about this than the milder "you were very noisy last night." I get that she must have been very tired though.

I'd be inclined to let this one go, unless your daughter has a habit of chastising adults and telling them to shut up.

Hahaha she sounds ace. I think I'd have said something along the lines of "out of the mouths of babes, eh?"

Yeh your daughter was being a bit rude but she's a kid, they're very honest creatures 😂 maybe remind her if she has a problem with an adult it's best to let mummy and daddy handle it. Why not have a long, loud convo at 2am about how she was absolutely 100% correct that they were noisy and annoying and that it was unfair on the people trying to sleep but that she didn't need to exacerbate the situation the next day?

Not keen on the shouting out, but telling him he was noisy next day is OK for a six year old. He could have set a good example by apologising with a smile, not making a reference to her age.

I think I'd tell my daughter to leave it to the adults in future to tell people off. She may have been right but she runs the risk of getting a barrage of verbal abuse from certain people if she continues down this road. I wouldnt want that for my child.
Yes they were inconsiderate but its a campsite, its not a decent hotel. Basically you get what you pay for.

@Lindy2

Since when has "shut up" been articulate? You're setting the bar low!

@IDontEatFriedTurtle

What if you were on the plane next to a fat person and it was a tight fit - would you say to them - wow that flight was uncomfortable because you're so fat??

I don't Think shouting Shut Up was great behaviour but understandable as it's very late for a six year old to be up. I feel for the other family as must have been a bit of a nightmare, remember they'll be tired today.
I don't think telling him he was noisy was rude if not said with Malice. If I'd have been in his shoes I'd have just said yes Sorry about that, lets hope we all get some sleep tonight.

I don’t think she was rude.

I think the other family were unbelievably rude for allowing their kids to make noise at that time of night.

If I was trying to sleep and had a racket going on I would have told them to “shut up” too.

Perhaps have a conversation about how her actions can be perceived by others to set her in good stead for the future.

I.e I am perfectly happy to tell the crack heads next door having a party to 3 am to “shut the fuck up as some people have work” but wouldn’t say the same, or anything, to the other neighbours who’s newborn keeps me awake.

Hang on so it was fine for your little moppet to be up at 11.30 but by 12 it's so horrendously late she is allowed to shout 'shut up' without consequence?

For me it was rude of her to shout shut up and Id have stepped in at that point and explained to her why shouting that wasn't ok. She did this 30 mins after you got back.

As for approaching them, I'd also teach her about stranger danger. She shouldn't be approaching adults she doesn't know in this manner, and clearly it was a situation that occurred when neither uou or your husband were watching her as you were unaware she'd done it.

I'd also teach her about tolerance. These people were delayed, they were setting up for the night. They weren't partying on down and you were not in a private location. As such she needs to learn to be tolerant of others and understand others perspective.

I'd also watch what you say in front of her, she's clearly taking your lead. If for example you were saying "oh lovely, new neighbors, poor them having to set up at this time of night, they must be exhausted" I doubt she'd have done any of it.

Yes they were inconsiderate but its a campsite, its not a decent hotel. Basically you get what you pay for.

Most campsites have rules about being quiet between certain hours, so they probably did pay for a quiet night.

What if you were on the plane next to a fat person and it was a tight fit - would you say to them - wow that flight was uncomfortable because you're so fat??

I am a fat person, I go out of my way to not bother the person next to me. Which is exactly what the person in the next tent didn't do.

Camping is bloody expensive where I live anyway but out of curiosity how much does a person have to spend to be allowed basic human comfort like sleep? Should the poor just expect this as they can't go 5 star?

I was referring to "you were very noisy last night" as confident and articulate for a 6 year old to say to an adult she doesn't know.
"Shut up" not quite so much but actually fairly understandable in the circumstances.

She shouldn't have said shut up but the other comment isn't naughty.

I've got a blunt midget justice warrior too. A little older. My sons speciality is that he comments when people are parking on double yellow lines or zig zags. I generally think as long as he's being truthful and descriptive about what they've done "you're parking on double yellows, that isn't allowed" as opposed to swearing or being aggressive, it's not naughty. Your daughter was being factual. She didn't say "you're a noisy bunch of twats" which actually would have also been factual

There are other more subtle social lessons to learn, e.g. is it nice or necessary to say something? If neither then button it, in order to get along we don't keep harping on about irrelevant transgressions, we pick battles and give others the benefit of the doubt. Especially when we are neighbours. Maybe have a chat to her about those things. Shes little and learning. Hope the neighbours get the message anyway.

Your DD was right. Doesn't matter if she is 6.

"I am a fat person, I go out of my way to not bother the person next to me. Which is exactly what the person in the next tent didn't do."

They were setting up a tent and caravan after presumably being delayed. How quiet can they be? If this had gone on every night with loud noise etc then maybe. But one night? give them a break!!

Re the plane - but the person may be bothered due to the lack of space whether you go out of your way or not, so they would still just be stating a fact.

They were setting up a tent and caravan after presumably being delayed. How quiet can they be?

Quieter than they were, e.g. by not sending their kids off to play in the playground at midnight.

r indeed asking them if they could use a hand getting set up to quicken things up, since you were awake anyway.

Only on MN shoudl you get out of bed and out of your tent to help another family set up...

Bluntness has articulated my thoughts exactly!