To think my boyfriend charging me for decorating is a bit crazy?

[lucyloo345]

I've been seeing him 9 months and he is a professional painter and decorator.
I need my stairs and hall doing so asked him on his day off if he wouldn't mind helping.
I got quoted £350 from a guy a couple of years ago but couldn't afford it at the time.
My boyfriend says he will do it next Sunday ...tells me to get the paper and paste.
Then he says shall we say £285 ?
Ok ..so I was going to give him something but the fact he is making it like a official job has annoyed me a bit.
Would you be a bit taken back?

Also stop doing his washing! Saying no to it is t petty. I'd just say there has to be some give and take - Sounds like there is a serious lack of give and take on your relationship. You're giving (buying food, spending time cooking it, washing etc) and he is just taking.

If he was just a casual boyfriend I could understand you being charged. But if you're a couple then he is definitely bu. We had our living room half wallpapered and the other half painted and we were only charged £250 and that included the ceiling too. Room is 4m by 4m.

I hope she's managed to stand up to him, but doesn't look like she'll be returning to the thread.

What @EdisonLightBulb said!

OP if you ever read this, please know that there are men who manage to work full time/over time, have hobbies etc, but still somehow find time to do their own washing. Those who don't "have time" are man children. No one wants a future with a man child - they will suck the life out of you slowly but surely. Put his dirty pants down and tell him to sort himself out.

He's full of cheek! Honestly, what an ae.

Weird dynamic. You were proposing to pay him £80! Come on - either pay him proper rates / mates rates as a decorator you’re currently dating or pay him nothing because you’re in srelationship.

This guy is not serious. I honestly think he should be doing it for free. You pay for materials and he do the labour. Only thing if he doing it for free he should pick the day which suits him. A bit of a turn of knowing that... I hate selfish men!

Massive red flags.
This says a huge amount about how he feels about you.
This behaviour is not normal.

Run for the hills.
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Aridane I agree, I have one of those jobs where I get asked for favours which take ages in my spare time.
I prefer either proper pay and I do a proper job on a date that suits me. Or I do a favour and get a favour in return.
If it's one of my nearest and dearest, I like to be offered money and feel appreciated and turn it down. I wouldn't charge my partner of 9 months who has been spending small amounts that add up over time.
What bothers me isn't the cost itself, it's the fact everything else is 50/50 in restaurants etc but 'women's work' is seen as not counting. I use the term women's work as that's how some men see it.
Do sit down and discuss this and imagine your life married with kids and how he could be. Don't LTB, give him a chance.

I think this relationship is going nowhere. I don't think he wanted to spend his day off decorating your hall and who could blame him. Get someone else to do it.

Men get so many freebies- cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry

Then when they are actually some use to a woman they want money for it!

F ing cheek!

First favour to help her out in 9 months and people are extrapolating that op will ask him to redecorate her families houses next!

She cooks for him does his washing and ironing. She took his sis miles in her car without charging time or petrol money.
But he cant help her out without charging her?
Sod that.

And why on earth would he bring his employees when his busines doesnt open at weekends?

My mates came round to help paint my bedroom once it was a huge room they did it for beers! I wouldnt dream of charging a friend never mind a partner for helping them out.

Tell him you can't afford to pay him, sadly, so you'll do it yourself. Not being an expert and it being quite tricky to do stairs it'll no doubt take quite some time. Certainly, though you'll start it on Sunday, you're unlikely to get it finished so you'll have to finish it off piecemeal no doubt.

Every time he contacts you to arrange a meet up, "sorry I'm decorating, darling" and repeat and repeat. If he mentions laundry, tell him, "oh you're welcome to come and use the machine and the iron whenever you want, you can keep me supplied with coffee while I work", sweet smile.
(Because clearly hanging wallpaper is work but washing and ironing is just so much fun! [hmmm])

Where else are you going to get the work done by a skilled craftsman for that price?

I had my large living room repapered and skirting boards, doirs and door frames and ceiling repainted for £300.

Not all tradesmen charge the earth.

I don’t know if it’s YBU but I think he’s just mean. 24 years ago I bought speakers for my then BF’s Land Rover because I got them cheap due to my job even though I was a just a student working in a shop at the weekend. I never asked for the money but even now my husband (same guy 😊) still tells everyone about it.

OP should either get as a favour from BF or if she's paying, then pay a tradesman to come and do it.
Then when BF is staying over, he can do shopping, cooking and clothes washing 50/50.
Does he want to be a team or 2 separate people who are in a relationship?
Doing stuff together is fun and can bring you closer. Unless it's putting IKEA furniture together!

Ifeelsuchafool excellent idea to say sorry you can't come over until I've finished decorating. "It wouldn't be very fun to sit and watch while I do it" etc... Plus you'd have to do the cooking etc as I wouldn't have time.

Depending on his sense of humor he could be winding you up. Could be a very dry sense of humor. Should see how he acts when you don't pay.

He should do it for free as it should not be a a job to him. Surely he should see that! I also agree tough that trades should not do stuff for nothing as need to earn a living but that takes the Pisa if he's your partner/boyfriend. You should start charging him for anything you do for him? Does he ever stay at Buying food/ironing clothes/using your heating or hot water!!!!!!! Then he will realise I can't honestly believe he wants that sort of money off you! I got angry reading your original post!!

Ignore all the typos on my post! Baby brain!!

Get shot of him, he's mean spirited and tight as a duck's behind. I was married once to a guy like that - it doesn't get better.

Um I’m an accountant and I would certainly spend a weekend assisting a partner of 9 months with their books, and no way would I expect payment.

And I’ve done this before to help friends out too.

YANBU

Tosser. Dump him.

That made me giggle a little bit. Sorry. He's a CF. Next time you make him a meal tell him that'll cost a tenner & 23p per min for gas & electric while he's at yours. What happened to good old fashioned chivalry & helping people out.

Come back @lucyloo345 and update us on the CF please!

Well id be gobsmacked at him not helping his girlfriend but what I'm most gobsmacked at is him not even just charging a day rate and give you a price for the job instead. My husband is a painter and decorator and said that is absolutely shocking.