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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it unreasonable to send an email at 4am?

293 replies

FrazzledRockRed · 05/08/2018 11:30

The Dj at my wedding shouted at me two days before my wedding. I had emailed a list of ‘must play’ songs. I sent it st 4am as I was awake, stressed etc.

The next day he sent DH a text saying ‘keep your wife under control and not disturbing me in the middle of the night’

Just to clarify, it was not a text, it was an email.

I can only assume he put some sort of notification ping for messages from us, because we were the next job he was doing. It really upset me to be treated like that. It’s not my fault he can’t manage his notifications or groupon and all sorts of spam would keep him up Day and night.

OP posts:
brizzledrizzle · 05/08/2018 15:29

I'd have cancelled the job there and then. he was very rude.

TerfsUp · 05/08/2018 15:31

This is one of the few times in which I feel the OP is NBU.

I email at all times of the day (or night, if I am having trouble sleeping). I can't see the problem, TBH.

And a text about being kept "under control"? Not on.

IsadoraQuagmire · 05/08/2018 15:33

I get notifications on my phone from 3 email accounts, texts, WhatsApp, Twitter, Instagram, Ebay etc. All with different ring tones so I know what's coming through before looking. But not when I want to go to sleep, because I put my phone on silent. Which takes literally 2 seconds.
No reason at all not to put your phone on silent/mute at night. Alarm still works if you need that, and if you have a particular contact that needs to get through you can specify that.
Maybe he's too thick to know how his phone works though. I met a girl the other week who claimed she didn't know how to turn her iPhone off Confused

IceCreamFace · 05/08/2018 15:53

The whole point of email is you can send it any time of the day or night - what if you're abroad and in a different time zone. He is rude and obnoxious.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 05/08/2018 15:53

It sounds like you booked your very own Alan Partridge!

Sorry things turned out the way they did but since you can’t change anything, try and see the funny side. (I realise that might take a while.)

GreenMeerkat · 05/08/2018 15:56

That is beyond rude. Sexist twat!

It's such a shame it was too late notice to sack him off.

I would definitely find him online and leave exactly that in the reviews. No bride to be is going to hire him after seeing that.

What an utter douche!!

ImAIdoot · 05/08/2018 16:04

People on emergency call should be called, maybe texted, or in ye olden days paged. Email is not the right medium.

To a limited extent, but this depends more on the field and processes than you might think. It would be as basically negligent to rely solely on getting text messages and phone calls through to people, (and for teams/management not to monitor email along with other channels) in my field as it would be to rely on email or cartier pigeon for contacting medical staff.

Horses for courses and all that. Of course we're talking about domain-specific considerations that I can't see applying for someone working in a college.

ImAIdoot · 05/08/2018 16:04

Cartier pigeons sound great by the way, I want one.

PastaRedWine · 05/08/2018 16:04

I work a lot with people in the Far East. If I'm in the UK, they phone/message me frequently at 6:30/7. I am just glad they wait until then, although I do have it on silent until that point if me waking up.

Anyway, your DJ sounds a right idiot.

Emails can be sent anytime. That's the beauty of them 😆

AlexanderHamilton · 05/08/2018 16:09

We have people on call at work & they are phoned or texted. They only need a phone signal whereas email requires 3G or WiFi & our company phoned only include limited data. Also for phoning/texting response is immediate. Email isn’t. Heck I don’t even have my work email on my phone.

I wouldn’t text someone at 4am because again I used my phone for texting before smart phones so your mobile was either on or off no in between. There are too many people now who don’t have landlines so may need several people (family members etc) to contact them in an emergency.

Fresta · 05/08/2018 16:16

Eh? Emails come at all different times from all over the world from businesses and advertising etc. Send them at whatever time- if someone is in bed they should turn off their notifications if they don’t want to be disturbed. Weird!

bruffin · 05/08/2018 16:22

There are too many people now who don’t have landlines so may need several people (family members etc) to contact them in an emergency.

Most smartphones nowadays have a Do Not disturb mode can be set so that only certain people can disturb you between certain hours.

eurochick · 05/08/2018 16:30

I would have sacked the sexist twat and put my playlist on an iPod if it was too late to get anyone else. No one gets rewarded for talking about me like that. What a cunt.

Missingstreetlife · 05/08/2018 16:34

Don't let it spoil your memory of a special day. He's an idiot, it can't be changed. Remember the good things

shemakesmewaitonabedofnails · 05/08/2018 16:37

How on earth is sending an email at 4am antisocial? Turn off notifications. Presumably people don't mind receiving junk mail during the night which comes at all sorts of hours...

Thatssomebadhatharry · 05/08/2018 16:38

Yabu to send a txt at that time. I have my email on my phone as use it for work and it pings just the same as a text.

Hwbu in the way he spoke about you.

AlexanderHamilton · 05/08/2018 16:44

Several older family members have old Nokia’s. My mum at least now has an old iPhone 4 but she literally uses it for calls & texts. Dyed gave no idea how to change those settings.

HesterShaw1 · 05/08/2018 16:44

Why don't people just turn their phones off at night? If you need an alarm clock, use an alarm clock!

Emails comes in at all sorts of times to my business because of different time zones.

What a weirdo.

OlennasWimple · 05/08/2018 16:46

I live in a time zone 4/5 hours behind the UK. Should I tell everyone in the UK who emails me (friends, family, M&S, Johnny bloody Boden...) that I won't accept emails sent before midday UK time? Confused

Of course not, that would be as bonkers as your DJ

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/08/2018 16:51

To all those going on about how an email at 4 am is not going to get you into trouble at work.

It comes under work/life balance and quite a few work places have policies in place that restrict when you can send emails/texts to work colleagues.

BertieBotts · 05/08/2018 16:58

I use my phone as an alarm clock as there are many more functions I can make it do than a bought alarm clock would.

I also would want to be able to receive urgent texts and phone calls.

However my emails don't come through at night. Every email program/app has this setting - you can either turn notifications off at night or at all times. It's not that difficult to do. I check my emails at my leisure, usually on a computer.

lovelovelovepancakes · 05/08/2018 17:06

His tough luck for having his notifications on at night then.
My phone is set up so only people who call twice come through to me so I don't miss any emergency calls in the night, this was tested when my mum rang to inform me my dad had just literally passed away out of the blue. She didn't know to call twice she was just desperate to get hold of me and was going to keep ringing until I answered. You can also set it up so certain numbers always come through so my mum and my sisters number will now. No messages, emails or anything else can get through between 10pm & 7am.

shinyredbus · 05/08/2018 17:06

Yanbu. What about people who work for an international company that are in different time zones? Markets open at different times. Money to be made. The DJ is an idiot - I wouldn’t have used him.

TerfsUp · 05/08/2018 17:09

Cartier pigeons sound great by the way, I want one.

Me, too. Especially if they come with a naice piece of jewellery or a tank watch.

scottishdiem · 05/08/2018 17:20

Mmmm. I wonder how many Bridezillas he has had to deal with. 4am email? No.

"Must play songs"........

Okay. So why hire a DJ and just use a playlist instead?

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