Is it unreasonable to send an email at 4am?

[FrazzledRockRed]

The Dj at my wedding shouted at me two days before my wedding. I had emailed a list of ‘must play’ songs. I sent it st 4am as I was awake, stressed etc.

The next day he sent DH a text saying ‘keep your wife under control and not disturbing me in the middle of the night’

Just to clarify, it was not a text, it was an email.

I can only assume he put some sort of notification ping for messages from us, because we were the next job he was doing. It really upset me to be treated like that. It’s not my fault he can’t manage his notifications or groupon and all sorts of spam would keep him up Day and night.

I think sending anything which would potentially send a notification in the middle of the night is staggeringly thoughtless tbh.

The onus is on the recipient as being staggeringly out of touch tbh, hence why notification alerts has been made default setting, if you are that way inclined, technology allows you to turn of alerts between set times as an acknowledgement of the globalised scenario we are in.

I check my emails in the morning so would just get it when I did that. I'm always sending emails late and assume people don't get woken up...

I send emails at all hours and never had someone say something to me about it. As far as I see it sending a text at 4AM or WhatsApp can be out of order but not an email!

If he didn't want to be disturbed he should have turned his devise off.
As to the message it sounds to me he is way above his self and thinks he can get away with crap like that.
Send him a strongly worded message telling him what you think of his choice of words and then sack him.
Make sure to send this message at 4 in the morning, prat that he is.

The only mistake you made was continuing to use him after he sent that message back. Even if I had to have put in speakers and an ipod I would have done that rather than have continued to use him.

FFS. My friend lives in New Zealand and emails me. The time difference means it arrives at odd times for me but perfectly normal times for her.

My phone is set to surprised all calls and notificatis overnight but it has the option to exclude certain phone numbers from that. So calls/texts from DH, DS and my mother (elderly) etc overide that. It is not the OPs fat the DJ is unable to manage his notifications.
I would also be furious at the message via DH. Of course it is fine to send emails at any time of day or night.

Sigh!
Surpress not surprised
fault not fat'
Blooming autocorrect text

It’s not like you were knocking on his front door at 4am brandishing your playlist!

What a cunt

It's not unreasonable, because he could turn his email off during the night. Also many companies send out emails overnight, so he would be receiving other emails, as well as anyone emailing from countries with a significant time difference. However the comment about keeping you under 'control' would have finished it for me.

I bet he mixed up the songs deliberately and didn't speak, in order to be spiteful. Dreadful sexist comment. Did you say he was from Welsh radio?

And unless they actually need to for some work or personal reason, why does everybody take their 'phones to bed with them? If you can't sleep without it, at least put it on silent - it's hardly rocket science!

What a twat, both for getting arsey about the 4am emailand being a misogynist.
He's a DJ so presumably able to use technology. I'm a relatively non-techy late 30something and can manage to set my phone to Do Not Disturb during the hours I am asleep / when I otherwise don't want to be um, disturbed. I turn my Wifi off when going to bed so nothing from tablet or laptop, which also of course have silent settings and power off. It's not difficult. If I had a reason to need to be contactable 24/7 eg family member or close friend seriously ill/ in crisis DND allows certain numbers to be allowed through, as others have said.

I do put my phone on my bedside table as it's my alarm, and I have trouble sleeping and anxiety sometimes so like to be able to MN, social media etc if I can't sleep, or be able to check the time/ if anyone has contacted me if I wake up. I'm firmly in camp the onus is on the device owner to set their device up so they aren't disturbed. I do e-mail etc in the small hours, see insomnia. It's not as if OP called the landline or turned up at his door

blue screens are the worst for insomnia. use a book , a n mp3 for podcasts or a white screen e reader. alarm clocks are cheap.

I read on my tablet at night. I turn my brightness setting to its dimmest, use a bluescreen filter, and set my ereader to read white text on black background. That way I can read with the room lights off, in virtual darkness, without disturbing DH sleeping next to me.

surely there is never an unreasonable time to send an e-mail. (unless it's a work e-mail)

it's up to people to manage their own device settings so that pings don't go off in the middle of the night

i don't use email notifications any more but when i did there was the option for it to only provide notifications between certain hours

regardless, that's a really unprofessional response from him

Can you share his email address please - I need a DJ. I might just enquire about his available by email at 3am

In this day and age the working week isn't necessarily 9-5 Monday to Friday. I work shifts and often reply to emails in the small hours if the night shift is quiet. I am asleep during a "normal working day" and people will email me. All emails will sit in my inbox until I am ready to read them. YANBU OP x

@InsomniacAnonymous Were you having a bad day? head tilt