Is it unreasonable to send an email at 4am?

[FrazzledRockRed]

The Dj at my wedding shouted at me two days before my wedding. I had emailed a list of ‘must play’ songs. I sent it st 4am as I was awake, stressed etc.

The next day he sent DH a text saying ‘keep your wife under control and not disturbing me in the middle of the night’

Just to clarify, it was not a text, it was an email.

I can only assume he put some sort of notification ping for messages from us, because we were the next job he was doing. It really upset me to be treated like that. It’s not my fault he can’t manage his notifications or groupon and all sorts of spam would keep him up Day and night.

I get emails all through the night with pizza offers etc. I can't believe one email disturbed him, unless he has a specific email for work which sends notifications (but you just set them to certain times). I'm shocked by his attitude and his rude offensive text.

If he’s that bothered he should turn off notifications and/or set his inbox to only retrieve emails when he checks them.

Didn’t get a chance to read through all comments - just wanted to say email at 4am is completely OK. I’ve travelled loads and worked with remotely with clients all over the world. If I need to take note of their time zone and only communicate with them during their day time i’d get nothing done.

I’m in awe of how some people have commented that this is rude. Email isn’t instant message!

The DJ sounds like a dick. If he can’t deal with this, he really shouldn’t be working in a service industry...

You should email him describing your disappointment of his service at your wedding. Send this to him at 4am.

doesn't seem unreasonable to me but that I am not a phone addict. Laptop, mobile and tablet are downstairs and off at night.

I get banking alerts and emails from abroad so turning things off ensures no disturbance. It is actually quite easy to avoid.

He sounds like a prize wazzock (sp)

Also, if he messaged your husband to be the day before the wedding then you weren’t yet his wife. Therefore he’s also thick as well as utterly horrible.

At the very least you should give him bad reviews on any forum you can.

Totally unreasonable of him.

Emails can be sent at any time. If he doesn't want notifications at night, it's his responsibility to set his devices like that, not expect people not to contact him.

Then what he said was awful. What an arse.

Totally fine. In this day and age with smart phones it is up to you to amend your sound or notifications when you don't want to be disturbed. Or not have a smartphone / have emails on it.

That text is disgusting I wouldn't want him near me again let alone djing at my wedding.

Perfectly fine to send email at any time. Marketing companies, overseas clients all do.

If he can't cope with a 4am email that's his issue and he needs to grow up and learn to use the quiet hours function. And wtaf at his misogynistic text to your husband. I guess it's too close to the date, but I'd be after another DJ.

I work internationally so receive emails at all hours. I don't pay attention to time zones when I send as I expect recipients to be adults capable of maintaining work/life boundaries. I have separate work and personal phones for this reason.

I can't understand anyone who doesn't turn their phone off at night (unless there is an exceptional circumstance as mentioned by one PP, ie. mother's illness - even then there is the landline). No-one has to be available on their mobile 24/7 unless they are on call.

If people don't want to see e-mails at 4am they don't have to have their computers turned on at 4am.

I would not send an email at 4am, though if you are abroad it could be 4am UK time.

Agree with Rumboogie about turning phone off at night.

Loving the idea of a workplace that has no contacts whatsoever in other time zones and disciplines its employees for sending work emails

No yanbu. Its down to the recipient to control what comes through and disturbs him not you. I send emails at whatever time its convenient for me. Tough shit on his part I'd say and after the message to your other half I'd be asking for an apology too as that was definitely out of order and unprofessional on his part and if I could find another dj at such short notice I'd be dumping him too. He certainly wouldn't be getting a tip at the end of the night either or being recommended.

Getting your first dance song mixed up is shocking and shows he didn’t give a feck about the set.

Sign him up for spam mails and let his phone start pinging!

I think a lot of people who complain about being disturbed by late night texts or emails suffer from martyr syndrome. I can't see any other reason why they would continue to allow themselves be disturbed when it is so simple to avoid.

A school mum used to revel in passive aggression when texts came in while she was asleep. She went to bed at 9pm and got up around 5am. Funnily enough, it was ok for her to text at 6am.

She had a go at me once for sending her a text at 10pm. I sent her a screen shot proving I had sent it at 8.30pm as, while I thought she was ridiculous, I complied with her desire not to get texts after 9pm. Not my fault delivery was delayed. Funnily enough, I didn't get an apology.

Cheeky horrible bastard , take no notice of him and l would put the word about that he had behaved like that wtaf!!

I think sending anything which would potentially send a notification in the middle of the night is staggeringly thoughtless tbh.

We're in a global world. Emails ping through 24/7. It's up to the recipient to manage their notification media.

Of course you should be able to send emails whenever you like. Texts and messenger - no, but emails shouldn't matter! Sack that DJ for their sexism, I say. Or get them to play 'hang the DJ' on a loop ;-)

Of course it's fine.

I'd be looking for a new DJ and posting a factual review of this one everywhere I could think of.

"I'd be looking for a new DJ"

Don't be ridiculous. She doesn't need a DJ any more.

She doesn't need a DJ any more.

Is it weird that I automatically sang, last night a dj saved my life, at this comment?

You shouldn't have emailed at 4am and he shouldn't have been a misogynistic prick. Congratulations on the big day though!

I know diversity of thought and opinion is great etc., it leads to better outcomes blah blah. But seriously there are real people in the real world on this thread that believe email should only be sent during business hours in your own timezone or something? For the love of God don't check your spam folder, you might be horrified at the time some electronic messages of which you are not obliged to read arrive (virtually). It's hardly a carrier pigeon pecking on your asleep face to deliver the message is it?!?!