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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed she took my son back early?

252 replies

grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:16

My mum looked after my son last night, she had previously said she will look after him until 'Saturday evening' by half 2 she was back with him 😐
Aibu?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 04/08/2018 17:17

Yes because you haven't told us why

Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:17

She didn't tell me why? Just took him back earlier than she had agreed

OP posts:
Sirzy · 04/08/2018 17:18

Was there an issue that caused her to bring him back sooner?

What where you doing?

Singlenotsingle · 04/08/2018 17:18

How old is he?

BoomBoomsCousin · 04/08/2018 17:18

Since it's family I'm assuming it's free childcare, which is not to be sniffed at and you need to be grateful for the time you've had. But if I was looking forward to a lazy childfree afternoon in the sun I would be annoyed too. Maybe she's forgotten how tiring children are and just couldn't cope?

Thatsfuckingshit · 04/08/2018 17:18

Took him where?

ClemDanfango · 04/08/2018 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 04/08/2018 17:20

And you didn't ask?

You didn't ask how the baby was while with her? If your mum managed ok?

Mind you she's had him all night long so yes YABU really.

Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:21

He is 4, she didn't say there was anything wrong and said that they had a brilliant time around town
She took him back to me. I had just got home from hospital (not trying to drip feed) was literally on my way for a lie down and they sauntered in

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 04/08/2018 17:21

Do you mean ‘brought him back early’? Otherwise I can’t understand what you mean.

CheshireChat · 04/08/2018 17:22

How old is your son? How about your mum? How often does she have him, if rarely maybe she underestimated how tiring it'll be.

You're not U to be disappointed, particularly if you're tired or had plans, but not much you can do.

Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:23

Of course I asked how he was, I've been texting her over the night and the morning. At 1.30 she had text "stopped off at a shop, got ice cream and ball for your son. Going park soon" then I didn't hear anything until they came through the door

OP posts:
bigchris · 04/08/2018 17:25

Ok

Op it is hot today, 4 year olds get cranky, she'd had him overnight, she probably just wanted a rest

Do you have a partner who can help out ?

LML83 · 04/08/2018 17:26

I would be disappointed but not annoyed. It must have been a bigger effort than your mum expected even if it was fun.

Passmethecrisps · 04/08/2018 17:26

If you are recovering from some sort of treatment could you say “thanks for having him Mum. Would you mind keeping him for just a couple more hours till I rest up?”

If I am honest though I think it sounds like she has done her bit and probably felt that was long enough. I would be texting and asking if everything was ok

gamerchick · 04/08/2018 17:27

She may have ran out of things to do with him. 4 year olds are hard work.

Disappointing for you though

Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:31

She wouldn't of had him any longer, I had to buy her chocolate for her to even take him as she insists she deserves a treat.
I know they are hard work! It's the second time she's had him over night and it was supposed to be a practise run for her to see if she'd cope with having him next week while I go into hospital to have my baby (paranoid now that she'll turf up at the hospital and drop him off early!)

OP posts:
Laiste · 04/08/2018 17:34

Flowers for you.

During the week DH and i were at the hospital in an emergency from 3 in the morning till 4 in the afternoon and once home had to immediately take over care of our 4 year old and it was shockingly hard, but it had to be done.

Is there anyone else you can leave DS with when you go in to have the baby? Would a friend come over to yours as a one off? You don't want to be fretting about DS while you're in labor.

Theresnodisneyending · 04/08/2018 17:35

Mmmm, the thing is, she's not contracted or paid for. She's doing it for free. These things may happen when people, especially older people ie grandparents who tire more easily etc, offer free childcare and, to be honest, they're entitled to do it and for you to expect otherwise is a wee bit unreasonable. I can see how it's frustrating but, as I told my best friend (who expects her family to look after her kids whilst she works and can't undertsnad why they struggle sometimes with it), you can't just expect family to be able to care for your children for you free of charge to the letter of agreed time etc. These things happen. I mean, gosh, I'm 34 and I get knackered with kids, let alone a grandparent who hasn't had to look after a child for many many years. It's ok for them to not be able to last the whole time.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/08/2018 17:36

I used to go to bed and sleep regularly when my dd was this age. I am disabled and chronically ill. Would in not have been possible go set him up with a couple of things and gone to bed with the door open?

CheshireChat · 04/08/2018 17:37

It sounds like she felt a bit forced to have him and figured she'd done enough, a chocolate isn't really a massive reward, maybe she's worried you'll take her for granted (rightly or wrongly) otherwise.

It really does sound she isn't keen and is trying to send a message I'm afraid. Do you have any alternative care for when you have the baby?

Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:43

Chocolate isn't a massive reward but you shouldn't need to be rewarded to spend time with your grandson.
It was more of a request "I expect a bar of white chocolate after all this" tinkly laugh. She didn't even leave until 6.30pm last night because she didn't want to have him too long, her words. He was in bed an hour after that
No I wouldn't have been able to go to bed, i have an 18m old as well.
I understand she may have found it too much, or maybe my son was getting bored but a text to let me know they were on the way back would of been handy

OP posts:
croprotationinthe13thcentury · 04/08/2018 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:44

I don't have any other arrangements sorted but will get some as don't want my son to go with her now.
It's a shame because she built it up as being such a big thing to have him at hers and even when she left my son cried saying nan didn't want me.

OP posts:
RoadToRivendell · 04/08/2018 17:45

I think you’re being unreasonable.

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