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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed she took my son back early?

252 replies

grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:16

My mum looked after my son last night, she had previously said she will look after him until 'Saturday evening' by half 2 she was back with him 😐
Aibu?

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 04/08/2018 17:46

I see it’s less easy with a headless chicken. Does the 18 mo nap? I’d try to sleep at the same time tomorrow and thereafter. What about the father? Are you involved? Couldn’t he take the children out tomorrow?

Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:46

I struggle between getting brought and bought correct so didn't want to write it incase somebody took the piss out of me for getting it wrong, does it actually matter?

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 04/08/2018 17:47

She shouldn’t just be expected to have him and obviously isn’t keen on having him so perhaps you should make other plans

croprotationinthe13thcentury · 04/08/2018 17:47

Yes

Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:48

She wasn't expected to, she offered. She's even taken time off work so she can look after him - her words.
I did say I would find something else

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 04/08/2018 17:49

It does matter as it completely changes the meaning of the sentence.

PersianCatLady · 04/08/2018 17:49

Do you have a partner that can help you or can his parents help you out at all?

RoadToRivendell · 04/08/2018 17:49

It was never going to be easy having 3 kids 4 and under. I feel a bit badly saying that, but that’s probably what your mom is thinking.

Urbanbeetler · 04/08/2018 17:49

Please ignore the grammar correctors.

Sounds like you’re having a difficult time. Who cared for your 18 month old when you were in hospital? Are you having a difficult pregnancy?

28holid · 04/08/2018 17:50

She didn't tell me why? Just took him back earlier than she had agreed

And what did she say when you asked why she was back early?

Costacoffeeplease · 04/08/2018 17:50

She offered...but also asked for chocolate for having him, took him late and brought him back early. I’m confused

Thatsfuckingshit · 04/08/2018 17:52

Please ignore the grammar correctors.

Whilst I dislike grammar correctors in general, the OP is using words that mean completely different things. If you have learning difficulties or if English isn't your first language, it's very confusing.

TightropeWalk · 04/08/2018 17:52

You are being unreasonable. She had him overnight and until 2.30. That's a long time. You should be grateful. There's no law that says grandparents have to have grandchildren to stay. Maybe he wanted to go home.
If your child said 'nanny didn't want me' (without you having told him that) then I hope you said 'don't be so silly she had you for the whole night and I missed you.'
This is so silly just be grateful.

Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:54

What's having 3 under 5 got to do with it?
She's never looked after my 2nd so it's not as if I'm Pilling on pressure or anything.
I was having a blood transfusion, my youngests grandad had her.

OP posts:
MissP103 · 04/08/2018 17:55

What's the issue bringing him back after having him overnight? Shes probably exhausted. You're getting angry over this, yet you're about to have another one. How are you going to manage. Why couldnt your dh keep them?

Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:57

I'm more annoyed that she didn't text to say she was on her way. She just assumed I was home, what if I wasn't yet back from the hospital?
I will manage, I have no choice but to but as I said this was her idea as she wanted a practise run before having him next week again her idea but I will be finding somebody/something else.

OP posts:
Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 17:59

Yes Costa conversation as follows
Mum - I'll have your son on Friday while you're in the hospital, it'll be a bit of practice for me for next week.
Me - if you're sure
Mum - yeah but he'll need duvet and stuff I don't have any of that
Me - that's alright
Upon collecting him "I expect a big bar of white chocolate for doing this"

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 04/08/2018 18:04

She could at least have texted in advance and tried to communicate like an adult. She sounds pretty flaky so I don't blame you for looking for someone else.

Sirzy · 04/08/2018 18:04

You need to be careful because if she gets wind of your attitude you will be lucky if she doesn’t tell you to F off and find other childcare!

Worth remembering she is doing you a favour

KittyHawke80 · 04/08/2018 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DearMrDilkington · 04/08/2018 18:06

Who decided that she will have him when you have this baby? Did she offer or did you ask?

Neshoma · 04/08/2018 18:09

Wheres your partner/husband/father of the children in this situation?

Original poster
grumpymamma · 04/08/2018 18:10

She offered. She's taken holidays from work to look after him, her exact words.
She did offer to have both children but I said no because I knew she wouldn't be able to handle both but thanked her for taking time off to have my son. She even text me a list of the days she'd prefer to have him, she was only gonna have him over night the once though which wasn't a problem,she said she'd prefer to have him in the day.
All came from her, admittedly I could have said "are you sure it's not too much" but as she's offered I thought it would be ok. Will find somebody else now though

OP posts:
Nofunkingworriesmate · 04/08/2018 18:17

Thank her heartily for babysitting, you are very lucky I have no family that can do that for me
Next time ask for a time rather than general section of the day and for a text when on the way
Communication,

PrivateDoor · 04/08/2018 18:18

Hang on, she had him overnight, brought him to the shop for ice cream and a new ball then to the park. And he came home crying that she didn't want him? Did you project that onto him? Because it sounds to me like he must have had a great time!

Can your partner not take them out so you can rest?