To be disappointed about my holiday

[sadanddisappointed]

Name changed as so of the information I am about impart is very identifying.
My DP travels a lot he is senior management for a sport that is perceived to be very glamorous, he travels to every venue the sport appears at. In truth it is mostly airport, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, airport. His mode of transport is perceived as glamorous it's not it's just long hours travelling.
The work is long hours, very intense and as he works for new owners of the sport there is a lot to prove. The last six weeks have been a particularly intense stint with only one day off.

Today he has had to travel to another European city for a meeting with their governing body. On the flight this morning his ear drum burst for the second time in 9 months, last time it was on the way to a South American city where the security risk is so great that the travel insurance decided the lowest risk option was to bring him home . Fortunately it was nearly the end of the season. He has been to hospital, but is now grounded so will be on the Eurostar home. He feels rubbish, but still has to do his meetings and then will come home.
His sport is on their summer break and we were due to fly off on holiday next Saturday for a week in Europe, obviously this will not happen now as he is grounded for six weeks ( work wise the first venues back are European so he will drive/train to them). He is devastated feels he has let the family down.
DD who is a teenager is acting like he deliberately did this to spite him, we had a holiday in France for 1 week before the season started.
I am via text trying to tell him he has not let the family down and trying to calm DD down that we will go away somewhere.
So far nobody has asked me how I feel. I work full time long hours in a job with on- call, it is my on business with multiple locations and many staff and has been fortunate to have grown 30% in the last year, but that has piled on the pressure to me both management wise and sheer volume of work out of hours. Whilst DP is away I bear the brunt of the teenage activities being a taxi, providing meals.
At this point in the year I am running on empty.
Don't get me wrong our situation is very fortunate we both earn well for the work we do and we are lucky. We had booked a week in a lovely villa in Tuscany, we were going to visit Florence, Pisa and Luca so of my bucket list places. I am coeliac and Italy is one of the best places in the world to visit as a coeliac as there is a really high incidence in Italians so eating out was going to be amazing.
We obviously can no longer fly, yes travel insurance will pay out, we will find somewhere to go ( anywhere as the dog has a booking into kennels and the cat sitter is booked). Yes better this week than next week and we have to travel home, but some difficult route.
My AIBU is to be disappointed to the point of wanting to cry, I had been so looking forward to this. At this moment in time MN is the only sympathetic ear I have.

I'm not for mollycoddling teens, but I don't think it's very fair to cancel a holiday your DD has been looking forward to just because your husband can't/won't fly. (Despite medical guidance that it's fine). If he was seriously ill - fine, but this is so minor.

If you spend a lot of time with her, and don't get enough time with your DH, that's not her fault - you need to organise your lives better.

It would be fairer to go on this with her and book an extra week away somewhere just you and your DH.

But if you're determined to change the location, I'd probably drive through the tunnel to Le Touquet (or get a train & hire a car) which is a charming picturesque resort, about 30 mins from Calais - wide sandy beaches and good food.

Guernsey today - come here! My swim was amazing.

Supermarkets are now open on a Sunday, we have two Waitrose’s, 3 M&S food halls and 3 Costas - we’re almost cosmopolitan

21 hour journeys. Asking a man who is already exhausted to make these journeys seems unfair.

Not sure I understand this. First class train travel is a delight, can be considered a holiday in itself, what is felt to be unfair here?

Poor you! Your disappointment is entirely understandable.

I think you should have a deep and meaningful conversation with your daughter. It sounds like she is behaving very badly.

I think you should then take yourself of for a manicure / massage tell your teen the budget and the parameters and ask for suggestions when your back.

I’d love to know where you have decided to go??

DP got home fairly late last night, he was seen by a consult ENT abroad who felt the ear drum was due to barotrauma rather than infection. As this has long term implications his work has arranged a consultation with an ENT on Harley Street which is where he is right now. His travel insurance is happy with this. We will then do what ever the medical advice is from this consultant. The NHS websites says that in most cases it is safe to fly with a ruptured ear drum, but you should follow the advice of the doctor who has examined you this what we are doing.
For those who suggested booking other travel insurance there are two problems with this first he has a couple of chronic health conditions which mean that standard policies won't cover him ( having a medical flight back from Australia tends to having them running scared) and the terms and conditions of his current policy mean that he can not be double insured and it is an annual multi trip specialist policy.
Thank you to everyone who suggested alternative train routes, but I have searched extensively with eurotunnel, the train line and other such websites and availability is very, very long on the high speed trains and consequently the more direct routes are not available. On the 21 hour route there are no couchettes available on the overnight stretch so it would involved sleeping in a regular train seat.
If he gets the go ahead to fly we will go to Tuscany, if not we will go to Guernsey.
This situation will not happen again a triple header, one weekend break, followed by a back to back on events as his company have taken on board the feedback from all the participants in the sport that this combination is just to demanding for all the people involved. So there will not be this relentless period for six weeks in future years.

Thank you for all your suggestions.

You can still go to Italy but just drive there. We lived in Northern Italy for 2 years and drove there and back 4 times. Even with only 1 person drivingand an overnight stay we did it in 20 hours. With 2 people driving it would be much quicker. Once there you can use trains to get around.

Look on Airbnb, put in your dates and see what's available.

F1 yeah? That was a pretty intense month!

Hope you get a nice break whatever you decide.

sad I've pm-ed you a suggestion.

If you’d consider northern Italy (Milan or the lakes) they’re within fairly easy driving distance. We’ve done it several times with two drivers. It’s about 12 hours from Calais without stopping. There’s also the option of staying in France or Switzerland for a couple of nights on the way there and back to break up the journey.

Driving on French motorways is easy compared to the UK IMO. Far less traffic and middle lane hoggers! Driving also means you have a car to use whilst you’re away which is always handy.

I don't know if you can edit your post, but it's clear which sport your hubby is involved in.

Of course you will be disappointed, so have a good old blub about it, then start looking at alternatives. Eurostar then a villa on the outskirts of Paris, or another train to the Riviera; Nice, maybe. How about another train into Northern Italy? A cruise from Southampton, or maybe a trip to the Outer Hebrides? The Isle of Lewis and Harris has some of the most beautiful beaches; they almost look like they could be in the Caribbean.

You say you're fortunate to have sufficient means, so I'm sure if you put your heads together, you can come up with something fabulous. As for the bratty teen, tell him to grow the heck up and thank his lucky stars that you can actually afford holidays. I know it must be hard to fit things in in between events, but you have lots of options.

ENT concurred with other doctor absolutely no flying, possible ear drum repair required.
Whilst we know we can drive ( we have driven to Middle East) we don't want to loose 2 days of the 8 days we have driving. So we are booked for Guernsey, Tuscany will still be there next year.

How interesting.. What was their rationale when all evidence and guidelines say it is safe?
I have had to cancel holidays before due to accident or illness its gutting at the time but in end it all seems to work out
Hope you enjoy Guernsey

Their rationale that it was barotrauma rather than infection and repeated changes in barometric pressure could delay healing and lead to further problems.
Apparently this is not a small hole it is completely blown apart hence the likelihood of needing ear drum repair.

Thanks. I wasn't being Goady... I will go and read up on it and add to my pdp.
I was always taught at med school and throughout career that the barotrauma is the actual rupture.. Once burst you can't do more damage as there is no resistance to the pressure, so once a ear drum has popped the situ has resolved.
I can imagine if there was some healing going on then more barotrauma /pressure may result in a hole getting bigger again.
I am still surprised though, if he needs myringoplasty it must be masoovive hole, so a flight in next week or so probably wouldn't do anymore damage.
But you insurance would not cover and I would not take a trip with no insurance.

Ouch sounds painful! At least you can manage a holiday together that’s what matters, before the craziness starts again. As you said there will always be next year.

Oh dear. Sorry to hear but good to hear you have a plan b sorted. Never been to Channel Islands but only heard good things.

Train is not 36 hours to Pisa/Florence

Feel free to PM me if you want any info on Guernsey. Weather has been amazing again today, hope it lasts!

I'd book a UK break, something utterly luxurious with some activities as a family. Remember the time is to be together.

Oh op I’ve literally just finished reading the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society, read it, it makes Guernsey sound beautiful and fascinating!