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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed about my holiday

197 replies

sadanddisappointed · 04/08/2018 16:40

Name changed as so of the information I am about impart is very identifying.
My DP travels a lot he is senior management for a sport that is perceived to be very glamorous, he travels to every venue the sport appears at. In truth it is mostly airport, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, airport. His mode of transport is perceived as glamorous it's not it's just long hours travelling.
The work is long hours, very intense and as he works for new owners of the sport there is a lot to prove. The last six weeks have been a particularly intense stint with only one day off.

Today he has had to travel to another European city for a meeting with their governing body. On the flight this morning his ear drum burst for the second time in 9 months, last time it was on the way to a South American city where the security risk is so great that the travel insurance decided the lowest risk option was to bring him home . Fortunately it was nearly the end of the season. He has been to hospital, but is now grounded so will be on the Eurostar home. He feels rubbish, but still has to do his meetings and then will come home.
His sport is on their summer break and we were due to fly off on holiday next Saturday for a week in Europe, obviously this will not happen now as he is grounded for six weeks ( work wise the first venues back are European so he will drive/train to them). He is devastated feels he has let the family down.
DD who is a teenager is acting like he deliberately did this to spite him, we had a holiday in France for 1 week before the season started.
I am via text trying to tell him he has not let the family down and trying to calm DD down that we will go away somewhere.
So far nobody has asked me how I feel. I work full time long hours in a job with on- call, it is my on business with multiple locations and many staff and has been fortunate to have grown 30% in the last year, but that has piled on the pressure to me both management wise and sheer volume of work out of hours. Whilst DP is away I bear the brunt of the teenage activities being a taxi, providing meals.
At this point in the year I am running on empty.
Don't get me wrong our situation is very fortunate we both earn well for the work we do and we are lucky. We had booked a week in a lovely villa in Tuscany, we were going to visit Florence, Pisa and Luca so of my bucket list places. I am coeliac and Italy is one of the best places in the world to visit as a coeliac as there is a really high incidence in Italians so eating out was going to be amazing.
We obviously can no longer fly, yes travel insurance will pay out, we will find somewhere to go ( anywhere as the dog has a booking into kennels and the cat sitter is booked). Yes better this week than next week and we have to travel home, but some difficult route.
My AIBU is to be disappointed to the point of wanting to cry, I had been so looking forward to this. At this moment in time MN is the only sympathetic ear I have.

OP posts:
brizzledrizzle · 05/08/2018 05:24

Oh come on, quidditch indeed! Hmmit's the international tiddlywinks league.

Op, there will be lots of cruises or you could go on the original holiday yourself and he can get the train.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/08/2018 05:27

This whole story is a windup, stop boasting OP. I’ll save my sympathy for the poster who has a disabled husband and can’t go on holiday.

VQ1970 isn’t asking for your sympathy. Confused. I’m disabled. We can’t go on holiday this summer because to add to this I had major surgery just a month ago. Yet in my predicament I can still have have sympathy for the op. Holidaying for me btw largely consists of staying in the house/room or lying on a sun lounger. We went to centerparcs earlier in the year and I managed to go in the swimming pool once and walk to the centre 2/3 times. We always choose places very close by. I still enjoyed myself despite not being able to do much.

Your post makes you sound like you have your head firmly up your arse CoolCarrie and quite frankly I wonder if you have any idea what it is like to be disabled or care for a disabled person.

sofato5miles · 05/08/2018 05:44

I think you can fly. My DD has had a perforated ear drum 3 times and we flew with no issues. The pain and issue is before it bursts. Maybe avoid swimming but that's it. I would go.

Oh and whoever the PP was who said that the heat in Tuscany is horrendous is talking nonsense. It's currently perfect.

SarahHans · 05/08/2018 05:48

I would fly with the kids and get him to meet us by train.

AfterSchoolWorry · 05/08/2018 05:53

I don't understand why you don't just go yourself with the kids?

Confused
Toomanycats99 · 05/08/2018 06:02

You mentioned he is on a different insurance policy to you - have you checked you will be covered to cancel as I would think maybe not.,even if he has it through work for family holidays you are best all being on one policy.

dragonflyflew · 05/08/2018 06:10

Just go! He can join you later by train and miss some of the holidays.
Dont waste it, as a single working mum I haven't been abroad in ten years, and unlikely to go for another decade!
no way would anything stop me!
He can join you, no drama.

mineisarossini · 05/08/2018 06:42

I would no way give up my holiday, you can work around this easily:

  1. cancel Tuscan villa and book one in the south of France - you can drive there (we did it last year it was great fun) or take the ferry. Or the train was very easy. London to Paris and then just take one more train and you are there.

  2. Cancel villa and book a hotel for some proper relaxation, pref one with a spa

  3. Places you could easily get the ferry or train to: Spain, France, Switzerland and northern Italy (lakes are gorgeous this time of year) We have taken the train to the south of France and Geneva before, clean on time and lovely views it was fabulous.

No need to be downhearted, just rebook something else for next week. Some of the deals are great now too.

Ledkr · 05/08/2018 07:33

Is it just me that isn't envious of this lifestyle?
It all sounds exhausting to me and so restrictive.
Ill take our boring old jobs and two week package deal any day.

Hop you get something sorted op Smile

Peanutbuttercups21 · 05/08/2018 07:41

Go somewhere lovely like Ile de Re in France, by ferry!

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 05/08/2018 07:49

Go with the kids. Let him join you by ferry/train.

hendricksy · 05/08/2018 08:02

Cancel is , claim on your insurance and go somewhere you can get to by boat . Or go without him and tell him to meet you there by train etc ?

Original poster
sadanddisappointed · 05/08/2018 08:10

After a long night with not much sleep due to work I have caught up on the posts.
DD has been looking forward to the holiday I understand she is disappointed, but I suspect today she will be happier. DP is not her dad long story, but she is very fond of him. I spend virtually every second of my nonworking time with her so she gets a huge amount of parental attention.
We are looking at various options our budget is not as big as you would imagine as the flights were booked with air miles and the villa belonged to an a colleague. I have searched a variety of options and have some ideas though there is not much availability for next Saturday.
Thank you for all your suggestions I have been looking at those ideas.

OP posts:
Devilishpyjamas · 05/08/2018 08:21

Well if your budget is limited (although surely the flights are the cheapest bit of any holiday) then either check whether he can fly with a burst eardrum (sounds as if plenty do) or send him by train.

I went to Germany by train for a conference one. It was quick and easy. www.seat61.com/Italy.htm

Stop with the feeling sorry for yourself shite and get practical. It’s a burst ear drum. It might limit what you can do (can see it might wipe out a surfing holiday) but it isn’t preventing you from having any holiday at all. Disappointment is natural but you have plenty of choices so make yourself a cup of tea and get onto google.

catherinedevalois · 05/08/2018 08:33

I can't understand why you would cancel. You and dc go and dh gets the train. If that's too tricky timings wise then he can't go. Don't give up your dream holiday, you need it!

HidingFromDD · 05/08/2018 08:50

You have my sympathy too. If you could work the trains could you try turning it into a roadtrip? Would change the type of holiday a bit but sometimes the unexpected can actually turn out better. Use the trains, stop in each place, have a few days in the villa and then come back (possibly by a different route?). Trying to get there and back asap just turns the travel into a pita, use this to turn the travel into part of the holiday itselfxx

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 05/08/2018 09:03

OP - I know this may come completely out of the blue but...has it occured to you to consider going by train, or asking your DH to? I only ask because NO-ONE seems to have mentioned it on this thread. Oh, wait a minute... Grin

She’s already explained very clearly why the train option isn’t viable as far as she is concerned!

callmeadoctor · 05/08/2018 09:11

There are loads of options, but OPs husband doesn't sound keen to me????

Original poster
sadanddisappointed · 05/08/2018 09:11

I have checked the trains next Saturday and the following Saturday to both Bologna and Florence the available tickets are 21 hour journeys. Asking a man who is already exhausted to make these journeys seems unfair.
I would not go without him because I haven't seen much of him in the last two months and the main point of the holiday is to all spend time together.
DD has calmed down this morning I think she was just disappointed and she has an activity that she is really looking forward to all this coming week, but she is nervous about it. She thinks Guernsey would be okay.

OP posts:
Devilishpyjamas · 05/08/2018 09:40

My point really was that if money was such an issue & losing that particular holiday was such a disappointment then it would be worth looking again at how to make the originally booked holiday work (which would mean either flying with the burst eardrum or sending husband by train).

If it was decided that it was more important to have any holiday with minimum level of stress then get on google and book something.

Plenty of choices - just needs a pragmatic approach.

ch0c0milkrox · 05/08/2018 09:57

Can guess the job almost my friends dad used to be in that sort of work.

Can you and DD go alone? Not ideal but you need a break

Doodlebug5 · 05/08/2018 09:59

What about la Rochelle?
It's a 5 hour drive from Calais and lovely

Agastache · 05/08/2018 10:12

Eurostar has a new service from london to amsterdam.

theredjellybean · 05/08/2018 11:31

regarding your insurance....i also would not travel without insurance but it is very simple to pick up phone and buy a weeks travel insurance for your DH from another insurer.
I honestly think in the time you have spent on mumsnet and looking at alternative holidays you could have organised alternative insurance, booked a GP appt for day he returned so it is in his medical records he was told he is fit to fly and all be going on the holiday as planned.

are you sure you really are not looking for an excuse not to go ? as you have been told clearly by several posters that flying with a perf eardrum is no problem

NinonDeLenclos · 05/08/2018 15:33

I have checked the trains next Saturday and the following Saturday to both Bologna and Florence the available tickets are 21 hour journeys.

Those are the slow overnight trains OP.

Check London-Paris Eurostar, Paris-Turin TGV, Turin-Florence TGV. Should be 2hrs 15min + 6 hrs + 3 hrs.

There would likely be better availability & prices if he went on the Friday.

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