To be disappointed about my holiday

[sadanddisappointed]

Name changed as so of the information I am about impart is very identifying.
My DP travels a lot he is senior management for a sport that is perceived to be very glamorous, he travels to every venue the sport appears at. In truth it is mostly airport, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, airport. His mode of transport is perceived as glamorous it's not it's just long hours travelling.
The work is long hours, very intense and as he works for new owners of the sport there is a lot to prove. The last six weeks have been a particularly intense stint with only one day off.

Today he has had to travel to another European city for a meeting with their governing body. On the flight this morning his ear drum burst for the second time in 9 months, last time it was on the way to a South American city where the security risk is so great that the travel insurance decided the lowest risk option was to bring him home . Fortunately it was nearly the end of the season. He has been to hospital, but is now grounded so will be on the Eurostar home. He feels rubbish, but still has to do his meetings and then will come home.
His sport is on their summer break and we were due to fly off on holiday next Saturday for a week in Europe, obviously this will not happen now as he is grounded for six weeks ( work wise the first venues back are European so he will drive/train to them). He is devastated feels he has let the family down.
DD who is a teenager is acting like he deliberately did this to spite him, we had a holiday in France for 1 week before the season started.
I am via text trying to tell him he has not let the family down and trying to calm DD down that we will go away somewhere.
So far nobody has asked me how I feel. I work full time long hours in a job with on- call, it is my on business with multiple locations and many staff and has been fortunate to have grown 30% in the last year, but that has piled on the pressure to me both management wise and sheer volume of work out of hours. Whilst DP is away I bear the brunt of the teenage activities being a taxi, providing meals.
At this point in the year I am running on empty.
Don't get me wrong our situation is very fortunate we both earn well for the work we do and we are lucky. We had booked a week in a lovely villa in Tuscany, we were going to visit Florence, Pisa and Luca so of my bucket list places. I am coeliac and Italy is one of the best places in the world to visit as a coeliac as there is a really high incidence in Italians so eating out was going to be amazing.
We obviously can no longer fly, yes travel insurance will pay out, we will find somewhere to go ( anywhere as the dog has a booking into kennels and the cat sitter is booked). Yes better this week than next week and we have to travel home, but some difficult route.
My AIBU is to be disappointed to the point of wanting to cry, I had been so looking forward to this. At this moment in time MN is the only sympathetic ear I have.

What about South of France? You can drive there or get Eurostar to Avignon (one of my favourite places). If you get the train you could hire a car. There is loads of sightseeing to do there.

I am jealous of your DH working in that sport. Me and DH are big big fans. Do you get to go to any?

And lots of messing in boats, scuba diving (in crystal clear water, water skiing etc. for your teenager.

YANBU. I hope you get another holiday sorted.

Once you are home, could you think about going part time? It might help if you are both exhausted working long hours in a demanding environment.

I agree that you guys fly and he has a peaceful train journey. Then it's only a wee bit disappointing that you miss travelling together.

Sorry not read through all the thread, would Brittany require less travel time?

We took the Eurostar to Paris then the overnight thello train to Venice. From Venice we went to Rome, Florence and Milan. The trains are really reasonable and all you lose is a single night since the thello train is an overnight sleeper train. I think you would only need minor changes to keep the holiday you wanted

No advice but I bet his job is very interesting!

Get your dh to a doctor asap and speak to the insurance company before you cancel to make sure he definitely can't fly and the insurance company will pay out. If you have to cancel get a cruise booked asap. It will be lovely.

How specialist was the advice your DH got abroad?

Only saying given theredjellybean's comments. This is not my area at all, however DH used to live abroad and some of the advice he got from a supposedly eminent professor in his field was, er, not amazing compared to what he gets from standard NHS consultants who keep up to date and see high volumes of patients.

Agree a private consult as soon as he gets back may well be a v good idea and save you a packet of money and heartache.

Firstly you are not being unreasonable, family time is precious!

Given the constraints I assume you are committed until 6am... could youreplace DH take the train Friday 10th after work and meet you in Italy. You continue on flight as planned with DD. Same on return so only missing 12hrs ish of family time, but if DH is heading to where I think easier to go direct from Italy if UK can beasily avoided for a few days.

If not go for undiluted family time... even UK and aim for Dubai in November.

He really could do it in just over 13 hours on the train. See attached schedule. When you consider travel to airport, hanging around, waiting at the gate, the flight, baggage pickup etc, this isn't much worse surely?

You are not unreasonable to be disappointed. I am sure you will find something either here or maybe in France where you can travel by ferry or train.

However, all the angst and people looking up destinations etc etc is utterly ridiculous. This is not a disaster. The OP is perfectly capable of looking up cruises for herself. She will undoubtedly have many lovely holidays in the future. I am sure the OP has thought about and possibly already has cleaners etc to make her life easier as some posters seem to be worried that she is worn out.

My husband flies with both ear drums perforated, he wears ear plugs, sucks on a sweet and muddles through.
He does have some flights where the pain is really bad but mostly it’s bearable.

On the other hand can’t you go without him?

Like pp's I'd be tempted to leave your DH in situ in Europe and find a location you and the children can fly to for a holiday.

Failing that, given the weather is so good in the U.K. atm I'd look to book something here.

We've been fortunate enough to go on some cracking holidays over the years and usually spend a small fortune on them (last year about £20k ).

This year however we've decided not to and are loving it.

We've hired a pool for the garden and the kids are loving it (as are their friends).

We've also booked a 5 day break in a posh hotel in the U.K. in a city we've always fancied visiting where there's lots to see and also countryside and lots of other things to do within an hours drive.

@Andwhat.. That's interesting because perforations remove the issue over pressure equalising so there is no pain on flying

I’m not trying to tell your dh what to do re job and leaving. Just to share our recent experience. My dh was just waiting for the next few years to early retire. Senior role. He was asked to leave a few weeks ago. He did nothing wrong. Just no longer a fit in the company despite long service - the industry is unrecognisable from 20 years ago so it’s understandable due to his skill set, which was being under-utilised. It’s been great for him. He’s now applying for jobs. But the relief to no longer have to go back. Now we realise he couldn’t have gone on for that long. All I’m saying is don’t rule it out.

I know the lifestyle sounds amazing and I know someone on the motorbike circuit - same deal, he flies everywhere. It doesn’t sound like the best fun for his family tbh.

I think you need to get a second opinion about the eardrum. And if flying is a no then 13h in a train to Florence sounds very doable to me, which route was quoting you 36?

1. Either do the train OR book Guernsey NOW
2. Tell teenager that it's the family time/chilling that's important & therefore the destination isn't the big deal.
3. Tell yourself that as well (kindly).
4. Eat some GF chocolate

I'm sorry for your husband but I'm not sure why the whole holiday gets cancelled. You go with your DD, he either goes by train or stays home.

I'm pretty sure the quickest way is via Turin. (ie London - Paris - Turin - Florence) It takes about 12 hours door to door.

Paris - Turin is 6 hours, Turin to Florence is 3 on the TGV.

We have a house near Lucca, shout me if there's anything I can recommend.

Fuckedoffat48b

Via Zurich and Milan is quite a long way round.

I’d forget Italy for this year. Do something completely different and book your dream holiday for when you can properly enjoy it. You couldn’t have picked a better year for staying in the UK if the weather holds. A cruise from a UK port could also be fun.

I was you last year, btw. Holiday cancelled at the last minute due to contagious disease in the place we were going to. We chose to reschedule so we’re going this year instead. We’ll enjoy it all the more for having waited.

A change in plan when it's not your choice is disappointing, but a quick search from just a couple of sites: Sykes cottages and English country cottages show many vacancies throughout England. UK has so much to see and do it is definitely not a second choice destination! Have a great week.

Travel insurance have been spoken to regarding consult abroad they will not insure him to fly.
Will update later as I said I am on call and have to go into surgery.

is it football lol? why so secretive??!

go on a cruise; highly recommend. Livorgno is a port of call for lots and you can get to Pisa and Florence from there. I did Pisa last year, absolutely stunning!!!

Not football Wittow. Not sure if OP wants it to be secret although if you follow the sport you know immediately which sport she is talking about.

Geri Halliwell was mentioned by a poster and that is a massive spoiler