To be disappointed about my holiday

[sadanddisappointed]

Name changed as so of the information I am about impart is very identifying.
My DP travels a lot he is senior management for a sport that is perceived to be very glamorous, he travels to every venue the sport appears at. In truth it is mostly airport, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, airport. His mode of transport is perceived as glamorous it's not it's just long hours travelling.
The work is long hours, very intense and as he works for new owners of the sport there is a lot to prove. The last six weeks have been a particularly intense stint with only one day off.

Today he has had to travel to another European city for a meeting with their governing body. On the flight this morning his ear drum burst for the second time in 9 months, last time it was on the way to a South American city where the security risk is so great that the travel insurance decided the lowest risk option was to bring him home . Fortunately it was nearly the end of the season. He has been to hospital, but is now grounded so will be on the Eurostar home. He feels rubbish, but still has to do his meetings and then will come home.
His sport is on their summer break and we were due to fly off on holiday next Saturday for a week in Europe, obviously this will not happen now as he is grounded for six weeks ( work wise the first venues back are European so he will drive/train to them). He is devastated feels he has let the family down.
DD who is a teenager is acting like he deliberately did this to spite him, we had a holiday in France for 1 week before the season started.
I am via text trying to tell him he has not let the family down and trying to calm DD down that we will go away somewhere.
So far nobody has asked me how I feel. I work full time long hours in a job with on- call, it is my on business with multiple locations and many staff and has been fortunate to have grown 30% in the last year, but that has piled on the pressure to me both management wise and sheer volume of work out of hours. Whilst DP is away I bear the brunt of the teenage activities being a taxi, providing meals.
At this point in the year I am running on empty.
Don't get me wrong our situation is very fortunate we both earn well for the work we do and we are lucky. We had booked a week in a lovely villa in Tuscany, we were going to visit Florence, Pisa and Luca so of my bucket list places. I am coeliac and Italy is one of the best places in the world to visit as a coeliac as there is a really high incidence in Italians so eating out was going to be amazing.
We obviously can no longer fly, yes travel insurance will pay out, we will find somewhere to go ( anywhere as the dog has a booking into kennels and the cat sitter is booked). Yes better this week than next week and we have to travel home, but some difficult route.
My AIBU is to be disappointed to the point of wanting to cry, I had been so looking forward to this. At this moment in time MN is the only sympathetic ear I have.

Cross post. I see you definitely won’t go. I don’t understand why as he could leave early and rest and relax all by himself on the train - I sure he wouldn’t be in cattle class!

As for your teen. She’s really lucky to have a great lifestyle. I can imagine for her the issues are you don’t get much family time as you’ve both got such rigid schedules.

And again another cross post.

@Allergictoironing yes the only week we can take holiday between late Feb and end of November.

can you find somewhere close to where he is now, and meet him there? Though I'd hit a travel agent and see if there is anything they can suggest you could be lucky.

Or it might be worth listening to the teenager who isn’t asking for lots of expensive stuff rather time with Mum and Dad. Not doing it well .... they are a teenager but maybe food for thought ?

Cant you drive or train as others have suggested? I drove overnight back to the French ports from north Italy when the volcanic eruptions happened. My exH navigated but could equally have driven. Not ideal but saves a lovely holiday being cancelled.

Yes I know what the sport is too from your post but would have no idea who you or your DP were so I don't think it's too outing.

YANBU, I'd be very disappointed too. I'd do what others have suggested and meet him there!

The Channel Islands are wonderful. I've been to Jersey a couple of times and had great weather with loads of things to do and places to visit.

@juliej00ls this is absolutely it she has a lovely lifestyle, but time with both of us is limited. In fact that is so precious to all of us.

You can get to the south of France easily. In my experience they are good for GF options. I presume your husband knows Monaco pretty well too?

Try Coast and Country Cottages for beautiful properties in Devon. We’ve used them before and stayed in stunning beachside homes. Maybe promise DD some separate grown up treats.

Edinburgh for the festival? This is in a lovely spot.

I’d still go with the kids and leave DH at home!

Week in Paris? I went 2 weeks ago and even with it being stupid got it was bloody beautiful. You could really treat yourselves and family to some wonderful food and sights and shopping. All the hotels have aircon so they are set up for thi weather. We walked nearly everywhere But taxis are about the cheapest thing in Paris too!
Hope you still manage to get away.

Tuscany would have been horrendous in this heat and I doubt you'd have done much sight seeing - we went a few years ago in July and most expeditions were cut short due to the heat. Personally I'd see if you could wrangle it to go for a long weekend sans DC in September or October instead.

Use what's happened to find an amazing UK break or something you can get to without flying - Cornwall was gorgeous when we were there a couple of weeks ago and weather was perfect for sight seeing.

Also is it time for you to look at restructuring your business a bit so that you're not required to put in such long hours.

It's natural that the DCs will be disappointed - but unless they are rather atypical teens I can't imagine it's because they aren't going to be sightseeing multiple historic Italian cities in sweltering heat, more that perhaps they were keen to have a week with their parents, which of course they can still have, just in a different location.

Sorry I am sounding unsympathetic - I'd be gutted if my holiday plans fell apart - but just trying to be practical.

If he is already in Europe can he not stay out there and catch train to Italy and you still fly out there? If this keeps happening surely he should be looking at how he can minimise flying or he could seriously damage his ears. No matter how much money he earns his health is more important.

I'm surprised you get as late as February when you can go away, would have thought the ramp up to the season put paid to anything after January.

And to those suggesting booking anything different in the UK - this is the hottest summer we have had in living memory, and 2-3 weeks ago accommodation providers (hotels, self catering, camp sites etc) were saying they are fully booked until the end of September. The chances of there being anything at all available in the UK at one week's notice during the summer holidays is virtually zero.

Get the train - we got the train from the Midlands to Lyon and were there by teatime, you can definitely do a long day train journey to italy.

Or he can and you all just fly.

Don't give up at the first hurdle. Make it happen

I think the OP could be Geri Halliwell (as formerly known)!

Just go without him.

Elderly friend cannot fly because of heart condition. He & his wife visited his sister in Italy by train. Eurostar to Paris then overnight train to Milan. Took longer to get there but they said that the journey was part of the holiday.

Could you and DD fly to Milan and meet DP there then drive down to Tuscany?

Geri Halliwell's DD is younger than a teen though isn't she and no other DCs that I am aware of unless there are stepchildren

Rebook the holiday, but can you ask your dp to put in the lions share of effort to get you a short break soon? Research , Booking, asking for help sorting the dc etc? Because you both work hard but you enable him to work hard, and he doesn’t enable you to work hard.

Oh silly me just googled it Bluebell is almost a teen and she has another baby and SC. Should spend more time on social media

train is around 36 hours so again considerably reducing our time together.

First class train together would be a lovely start and end to the holiday.