To be disappointed about my holiday

[sadanddisappointed]

Name changed as so of the information I am about impart is very identifying.
My DP travels a lot he is senior management for a sport that is perceived to be very glamorous, he travels to every venue the sport appears at. In truth it is mostly airport, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, airport. His mode of transport is perceived as glamorous it's not it's just long hours travelling.
The work is long hours, very intense and as he works for new owners of the sport there is a lot to prove. The last six weeks have been a particularly intense stint with only one day off.

Today he has had to travel to another European city for a meeting with their governing body. On the flight this morning his ear drum burst for the second time in 9 months, last time it was on the way to a South American city where the security risk is so great that the travel insurance decided the lowest risk option was to bring him home . Fortunately it was nearly the end of the season. He has been to hospital, but is now grounded so will be on the Eurostar home. He feels rubbish, but still has to do his meetings and then will come home.
His sport is on their summer break and we were due to fly off on holiday next Saturday for a week in Europe, obviously this will not happen now as he is grounded for six weeks ( work wise the first venues back are European so he will drive/train to them). He is devastated feels he has let the family down.
DD who is a teenager is acting like he deliberately did this to spite him, we had a holiday in France for 1 week before the season started.
I am via text trying to tell him he has not let the family down and trying to calm DD down that we will go away somewhere.
So far nobody has asked me how I feel. I work full time long hours in a job with on- call, it is my on business with multiple locations and many staff and has been fortunate to have grown 30% in the last year, but that has piled on the pressure to me both management wise and sheer volume of work out of hours. Whilst DP is away I bear the brunt of the teenage activities being a taxi, providing meals.
At this point in the year I am running on empty.
Don't get me wrong our situation is very fortunate we both earn well for the work we do and we are lucky. We had booked a week in a lovely villa in Tuscany, we were going to visit Florence, Pisa and Luca so of my bucket list places. I am coeliac and Italy is one of the best places in the world to visit as a coeliac as there is a really high incidence in Italians so eating out was going to be amazing.
We obviously can no longer fly, yes travel insurance will pay out, we will find somewhere to go ( anywhere as the dog has a booking into kennels and the cat sitter is booked). Yes better this week than next week and we have to travel home, but some difficult route.
My AIBU is to be disappointed to the point of wanting to cry, I had been so looking forward to this. At this moment in time MN is the only sympathetic ear I have.

Surgery complete, peach stone removed from intestines.
I actually am not allowed to directly say which sport it contravenes the NDA regarding social media. I can not mention the name of the company he works for even on an anonymous forum.
I will revert to my previous name after this post.

It all sounds odd.
You sound like a vet or surgeon yourself so would know there is absolutely no contra indication to flying with perforated ear drums and your insurance company are talking bollocks if they say they won't cover him on the back of a foreign doctors report.
I don't really understand why you are posting on here and not looking up NHS website that clearly says you can fly.
Plus lots and lots of other well regarded health sites that all say the same thing.
And instead of spending time trying to find a new holiday I'd be organising an ENT consultant appt for my dh. Where you'd get clear advice your husband could fly

oh right, formula one. go to bloody centerparcs like the rest of us skint middle class lot.

@theredjellybean all of the information I am getting is texts as he has been in and out of meetings. His travel insurance and mine are different his is provide through work for all travel. DD and Zi have our own policy. We will get him seen in the U.K., but I will not travel with one of us uninsured even if that man's no holiday.

Feel your pain OP

My DH worked for the teams for his whole (c.15 year) career and has recently started to work at the same company (I think!) as your OH

Thankfully my DP doesn't travel anymore, and our lifestyle has improved since his new job started, but the hours can be punishing!!
And consequently our family time and holidays are much needed and treasured.

No advice but didn't want to read and run as this stuff is very close to home

My DD was tortured with ear infections when she was young, we were always told it was fine for her to fly.
We flew a couple of times when it had perforated.

Just pick a luxury hotel somewhere nice in the UK and relax

Avignon has amazing countryside, and very accessible roman historical monuments in neighbouring towns, that are very well preserved. There’s a straight train from st Pancras. Plenty hot, but quite touristy!

Scilly Isles!!!

So disappointing. I hope you get something lovely booked

Elite west holiday cottages (Cornwall) have some lovely places.

Guernsey is lovely. We’ve holidayed there a few times with a teen and tween and they’ve both loved it.

Quick ferry from Poole only takes 3.5 hours. Lots to do and see. Some fab beaches. If you’re the active types, you can get to some south beaches with a bit of a hike. West coast beaches are easily accessible.

Day trip to Sark or even stay there overnight - Dark Sky island for stargazing.

Fab food; crab sandwiches at beach kiosks to great restaurants.

Mmmmmm, maybe he is making an excuse not to go? Anyway I would go without him. (But I am obviously mean

I'm assuming this is F1 which has an enormous number of workers and their families based in UK so I wouldn't worry about being outed. As far as I can make out only Ferrari are actually genuinely based anywhere other than somewhere not too far from Silverstone. Everyone else is somewhere in England but registered for tax purposes almost anywhere else. Red Bull and the Austrian national anthem always make me chuckle in particular.

I'm an F1 family too btw...

My employer ruptured his eardrum last weekend and is scheduled for a flight this coming Saturday for business - can he fly with a ruptured eardrum?

Dr Jules Eden replies: He can fly with this problem. Because the drum has a hole in it, the air that expands as the plane goes up freely moves out of the middle ear through the new hole. Likewise on descent, air will be pulled in through the perforation so equalising the ear. After a drum rupture, it can take any length of time to heal, depending on how big the rupture is and any superseding infection - from a week to many months. To prevent infection, he must keep it dry, so no swimming or diving, and when in the shower a wax plug is useful to prevent water from dripping in.

Yep definitely check that he really wants to on on holiday with you. NHS website if clear that it is ok to fly.

I mean you can definitrly fly with a burst eardrum but even if he doesnt I don't understand why he doesn't just get the train and you two fly. Yes it might knock s day off his holiday but easier than changing it last minute.

If you both work long hours in stressful jobs as you say it sounds like you have very little time for your daughter. It sounds like she's upset about the loss of family time? I would be upset if neither of my parents had time for me and then my holiday suddenly got cancelled, she will calm down.

I’d keep the holiday. You fly with the dc, he gets the train. Not fair to cancel the dc’s - and your - holiday.

I agree with Deux. Guernsey is lovely. Lots of lovely beaches, the water is clean and good for swimming, not med blue but still nice, no over crowding, even in the summer. There is not a huge amount to do or see there, unless you are interested in the occupation! But the food is wonderful. The locals are friendly. You can go to Herm and Sark. There are rib trips to see the puffins and seals and then the ribs do a white knuckle ride back that even my mum of 65 enjoyed!

The little chapel is cute, doesn’t take long but children of all ages enjoy a quick wander round.

There’s kayaking, sailing, paddle boarding, surfing and horse riding. Outdoor Guernsey run a kids club through the summer that cover all of these things and more.

You can hire a car (a must and relatively cheap,) bikes, a boat.

There is a cinema, a bowling alley and crazy golf, there is also a karting track.

It’s a slow pace of life in Guernsey, easy to chill out and relax. It’s like turning the clock back 60 years and I like it. Max speed is 35, most roads are 25, yellow box junctions are yield in turn, clockwise, much better than roundabouts! Hire cars have a big H on the front and back so don’t go if you see one coming and locals will err on the side of caution if they see a hire car! Supermarkets don’t open on sundays and some restaurants don’t either. Seafood is amazing. No McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut, but some lovely pizza/burger restaurants. They have recently got a Costa! But Dix Neuf and Christie’s do great coffee, cake and brunch.

Insurance will pay out.

Find somewhere do-able via train.

You can afford it.

Job done.

BUT Why the hell do you both work like demons for a one week window for a family holiday? Sort your priorities out - life is too fucking short to work in such crazy jobs and have no break, really and one day your DD won't want to come on holiday with you.

This whole story is a windup, stop boasting OP. I’ll save my sympathy for the poster who has a disabled husband and can’t go on holiday.

Your teenager needs to wind her neck in really. It’s not about her. Last year we had to cancel first ever proper holiday (caravan in France) because eldest severely disabled son was booted out of his home with two weeks notice. The two younger kids (then 12 and 15) did not complain at all - nor when they they were then booted out of their own home so we could have Ds1 home. Only the day before it all kicked off Ds2 had been telling dh how much he was looking forward to it, but no complaint when it had to be binned (nor did we get much money back as it was so close to the holiday).

Shit happens. We’re going on a cruise this year (another attempt at first ever holiday) between your dates. You clearly have the cash to be able to buy some other sort of alternative holiday. There will be something available.

Sure it’s disappointing but some perspective may help!

Really don't know why you needed the not so stealthy boast about your H working in F1 as it's not really relevant at all is it? You could just have said the part about lots of travelling and the restricted dates for your break. But no, we all need to know how (non) glamorous and hard working it is. Give over.

Still confused - if the train from London to Florence takes 13 hours as several people have said, then what is the problem with him just taking the train? Having taken the train last year I would absolutely love to travel that way again - much easier and more pleasant than flying.