To be disappointed about my holiday

[sadanddisappointed]

Name changed as so of the information I am about impart is very identifying.
My DP travels a lot he is senior management for a sport that is perceived to be very glamorous, he travels to every venue the sport appears at. In truth it is mostly airport, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, airport. His mode of transport is perceived as glamorous it's not it's just long hours travelling.
The work is long hours, very intense and as he works for new owners of the sport there is a lot to prove. The last six weeks have been a particularly intense stint with only one day off.

Today he has had to travel to another European city for a meeting with their governing body. On the flight this morning his ear drum burst for the second time in 9 months, last time it was on the way to a South American city where the security risk is so great that the travel insurance decided the lowest risk option was to bring him home . Fortunately it was nearly the end of the season. He has been to hospital, but is now grounded so will be on the Eurostar home. He feels rubbish, but still has to do his meetings and then will come home.
His sport is on their summer break and we were due to fly off on holiday next Saturday for a week in Europe, obviously this will not happen now as he is grounded for six weeks ( work wise the first venues back are European so he will drive/train to them). He is devastated feels he has let the family down.
DD who is a teenager is acting like he deliberately did this to spite him, we had a holiday in France for 1 week before the season started.
I am via text trying to tell him he has not let the family down and trying to calm DD down that we will go away somewhere.
So far nobody has asked me how I feel. I work full time long hours in a job with on- call, it is my on business with multiple locations and many staff and has been fortunate to have grown 30% in the last year, but that has piled on the pressure to me both management wise and sheer volume of work out of hours. Whilst DP is away I bear the brunt of the teenage activities being a taxi, providing meals.
At this point in the year I am running on empty.
Don't get me wrong our situation is very fortunate we both earn well for the work we do and we are lucky. We had booked a week in a lovely villa in Tuscany, we were going to visit Florence, Pisa and Luca so of my bucket list places. I am coeliac and Italy is one of the best places in the world to visit as a coeliac as there is a really high incidence in Italians so eating out was going to be amazing.
We obviously can no longer fly, yes travel insurance will pay out, we will find somewhere to go ( anywhere as the dog has a booking into kennels and the cat sitter is booked). Yes better this week than next week and we have to travel home, but some difficult route.
My AIBU is to be disappointed to the point of wanting to cry, I had been so looking forward to this. At this moment in time MN is the only sympathetic ear I have.

I'm sure there are one or two properties left to rent in the UK Allergictoironing particularly as the OP will have rather a large budget to spend.

Add me to those who are wondering why you can't go as normal and he takes the train.

Also, my list of glamorous sports is: polo, lacrosse, dressage.

You have my sympathy OP. I work full time and am a carer for my disabled husband. We have a cruise booked for October which I’ve been looking forward to as I have a mental workload through the summer in my job and add to that all of the general house stuff and looking after him. I was so looking forward to sitting on a ship for two weeks with other people looking after me - bringing me food, bringing me drinks, cleaning my ‘house’, not having to think about how we’re getting to our next destination etc but because of something medical he wouldn’t do, we now have to cancel. I’m gutted and for various reasons we can’t do anything else. So I know exactly how you feel.

On a positive note, I live in Guernsey, born and bred so I live on the holiday island you could be visiting and I would thoroughly recommend it, expecially with this weather we’ve been having. The beaches look gorgeous, the water temp is lovely and I’m swimming most days. We’ve got fab restaurants, lovely cliff walks, some really good beauty spas if you want a pamper.

Feel free to PM me if you want any more info about Guernsey.

@ForalltheSaints my DP is much lower profile than Geri's husband, but yes they work in the same sport.

Sadly for those suggesting a weekend in October or September that is just not possible, this is a sport with a relentless schedule of development in between events. Unless you or your family work in the industry it is very difficult to appreciate the hours that are put in.
I am a bit of a lizard who loves the heat I have been know to wear a cardigan in 40 degrees so 35 would never stop me sightseeing.
I have started the search, but availability is very, very low I think it is going to be Hobson's choice. I will hopefully have options to suggest by the time he returns late tonight.

Not at all helpful to your current dilemma, I admit, but do you think it may be time to look at the long-term effects on all of you of your current work-life balance? DD is fed up, you're stressed, DH sounds like his health is suffering. Your lifestyle sounds great in some respects but also as though it's all held together by a thread and the moment something unscheduled happens the wheels come off and everyone's upset. Is change of any sort possible?

And my god, why not just spend 10 days at home together. It sounds like it would be a novelty.

Can you find somewhere luxurious with a hot tub/pool in the U.K?

@Twombly we have three more seasons till the pension kicks in then he is out of there.

Or what about il de re in France? Ferry across and then a drive? Beautiful island and the ‘capital’ is tres chic!

Definitely easy to get to South of France by train in a day. I've done it. Or as suggested by a PP a week in Paris - you're all on holiday together, weather will be fab. Just make sure you get a hotel with a pool. Don't be defeatist OP

(BTW How is your DH going to get to other upcoming "fixtures" with this ear problem?)

Does he have to be office based for his work in London? I ask because is there any possibility he could work on the train on his laptop, sleep on the overnight train, then meet you and your DC there in Tuscany? My DH does a LOT of work on trains as he takes time out of his week to get DSS (from the other end of the country) but can't afford to lose the work-hours.

Otherwise, I'd suggest seeing if you can get something a bit closer - you could Eurostar and TGV somewhere in France and it not take anything like as long as Italy.

I don't know if anyone has said this already.. But a burst eardrum does not stop you flying.
NHS website states it very clearly.
I don't know why you dh was told not to fly.
And I doubt your insurance will cover you if you choose to cancel as there is no need

That is such a shame, I really feel for you. Allow yourself a wee cry and a bit of a wallow. Then big girl pants on and start planning a new holiday (and let’s face it it’s half the fun!)
If I were you I would do one of the following -

Cornwall
France, Normandy
Edinburgh - a few days at the festival followed by a cottage on the coast in Fife or the Borders

Or get a few options and give the teenager the final say to try and put a smile on her face!

Fair enough! It all sounds awful to me, especially now I know what the sport is! I think the advice to have a hot bath, a stiff drink and a good cry may be the best then. x

I can absolutely see why you are disappointed. Personally I would be sitting DD down and telling her that she is not the only one impacted, that you have been looking forward to the holiday as well and you are upset that you can't go now too (all whilst internally wailing It's not fair Kevin the teenager style), but it is down to a medical issue that DH couldn't have helped so this is the new circumstance that has to be accepted and made into the best holiday possible.

Remind her that both you and DH are still on holiday that week and really want to go away somewhere as a family and see if she can come up with some ideas of her own where you could go, given the restriction on dates and transport options, that can be thrown into the mix for consideration. Hopefully, getting some input from her might help her accept the situation a little more gracefully.

How about the Netherlands or Belgium? Somewhere easy to get to via ferry/driving, but not too time consuming timewise?

Schedules for that sport are crippling so I'm not surprised you're upset on missing out. I've often wondered how the support staff manage to juggle life with such punishing schedules. Hope you can get something sorted and manage at least a few days away!

Ferry/ drive to Northern France, Normandy or Brittany. Some high end hotels EG Relais et Chateaux type ones could well have availability (I'm guessing the budget is not too tight) and there are some glamorous seaside resorts for teen DD.

Don't worry OP! Only 9 more to go! The off season is probably still really full on though. And the triple would've been a huge load as well.
Look after yourself and try and think about when he retires!!

@DontCallMeCharlotte the next 6 weeks the venues are Europe so he will drive to them or catch a ride on a lorry.
@LBOCS2 he looks at lots of technical drawings train WiFi will not have the capacity to load them and they are stored on external servers for security reasons. Plus he can not risk anyone else possibly viewing them. Security over these kind of drawings is super strict.
@theredjellybean I am assuming that as this is second time in 9 months the same ear drum has burst this is why he has been advised this by the dr he saw in Europe. He will of course follow up with his GP when he gets back.

I would be planning your best holiday EVER for whatever the first week is you can go in November. And just take your DD, never mind the school.

You can be in Bordeaux fabulous city in about 5 hours by train from London (Eurostar then TGV) -- probably not much longer than it takes to fly , taking into account the necessary early arrival at airport and time taken for security checks etc.

Assuming your husband starts his journey in London, then there train journeys that will get him to Florence in less than 14 hours. I too am puzzled about the need to cancel completely .

If you will get a refund, then re-plan.

Talk to your local Travel Counsellor or Premier Holidays and tell them you need a cruise ASAP. (I've used both). They can be brilliant at finding something at short notice. Far better than a local travel agent, who'll just browse through brochures. And you need something special. It probably wont be cheap, but it'll be a holiday!

Good luck.

Alternatively, drive to Penzance, and take the boat to the Isles of Scilly. Fab food, lots of beaches, exotic tropical scenery. And almost no people. Very relaxing. We've just come back (booked with Premier and Secret Escapes).

I live in the area you are/were planning on visiting and have done the journey by train. London to Florence can be done in about 13 hours with Eurostar, TGV and high speed trains in Italy too, obviously depending on connections it can take longer, but it's definitely possible in a (long) day.

Sorry to disagree with you OP but that doctor is wrong.
Many people live and travel happily with chronic perforations.
In fact air travel is considered easier and more comfortable with a perforated ear drum as the pressure equalises easier.
Honestly stop stressing, read the NHS website and book you dh an appt with a private ENT consultant the minute he is back.
I bet you will be told he can fly