To be disappointed about my holiday

[sadanddisappointed]

Name changed as so of the information I am about impart is very identifying.
My DP travels a lot he is senior management for a sport that is perceived to be very glamorous, he travels to every venue the sport appears at. In truth it is mostly airport, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, hotel, venue, airport. His mode of transport is perceived as glamorous it's not it's just long hours travelling.
The work is long hours, very intense and as he works for new owners of the sport there is a lot to prove. The last six weeks have been a particularly intense stint with only one day off.

Today he has had to travel to another European city for a meeting with their governing body. On the flight this morning his ear drum burst for the second time in 9 months, last time it was on the way to a South American city where the security risk is so great that the travel insurance decided the lowest risk option was to bring him home . Fortunately it was nearly the end of the season. He has been to hospital, but is now grounded so will be on the Eurostar home. He feels rubbish, but still has to do his meetings and then will come home.
His sport is on their summer break and we were due to fly off on holiday next Saturday for a week in Europe, obviously this will not happen now as he is grounded for six weeks ( work wise the first venues back are European so he will drive/train to them). He is devastated feels he has let the family down.
DD who is a teenager is acting like he deliberately did this to spite him, we had a holiday in France for 1 week before the season started.
I am via text trying to tell him he has not let the family down and trying to calm DD down that we will go away somewhere.
So far nobody has asked me how I feel. I work full time long hours in a job with on- call, it is my on business with multiple locations and many staff and has been fortunate to have grown 30% in the last year, but that has piled on the pressure to me both management wise and sheer volume of work out of hours. Whilst DP is away I bear the brunt of the teenage activities being a taxi, providing meals.
At this point in the year I am running on empty.
Don't get me wrong our situation is very fortunate we both earn well for the work we do and we are lucky. We had booked a week in a lovely villa in Tuscany, we were going to visit Florence, Pisa and Luca so of my bucket list places. I am coeliac and Italy is one of the best places in the world to visit as a coeliac as there is a really high incidence in Italians so eating out was going to be amazing.
We obviously can no longer fly, yes travel insurance will pay out, we will find somewhere to go ( anywhere as the dog has a booking into kennels and the cat sitter is booked). Yes better this week than next week and we have to travel home, but some difficult route.
My AIBU is to be disappointed to the point of wanting to cry, I had been so looking forward to this. At this moment in time MN is the only sympathetic ear I have.

I think that disappointment is one of the hardest emotions to digest. You need to have a good cry and a bath, like @gandtthankyou says. Then you could cancel everything, get the insurance, and plan for a new holiday post ear-drum healing? That would be a clean break from the disappointment. And book a day at a spa for you and dd

It’s one of the few summers that you could reliably consider one of the many wonderful locations in the UK and expect great weather.

There is still good availability for many high end villas and hotels. There was an art in The Times today. Get googling and sell a new holiday experience to your family. You are lucky enough to have the budget to do so.

Cornwall, Lake District, Pembrokeshire, Norfolk....

I get your disappointment but Florence and Pisa will still be there another time (and are currently hotter than hell).

Get well soon to your DH.

A cruise would be my suggestion, or the train to Italy. Also very envious of your DH who has my dream job!

You have every right to be fed up and disappointed. I would be too.
Have a cry about what's happened and then make your plan to put things right again.
Your holiday will need to be different but it can be just as good. As others have saud you have a cruise as an option, you have driving as an option (could you add some extra days to your original holiday and drive there stopping off somewhere on the way?), you have trains as an option. Eurostar do train and hotel holiday packages now in a range of different places.
You might need to throw a bit of extra money at it but if both of you are doing well earnings wise use those extra earnings to have the holiday you need.

I just can’t think of any sports that I think of as glamorous except polo! And that is played all year round.

I would definitely consider drive/train to the villa.

Can you and DD fly on holiday, and DH train it direct from current location to Italy, and train it all the way back? Or would tge logustics ifvthat defeat going on holiday?

P and o are very good at catering for dietary requirements too

I don't understand- it's in Europe. You and kids all fly, he gets train/hires a car. No need to cancel!

I also don't understand why you're cancelling. Isn't this an option?

Train to Italy, surely?

Its the only sport I like!
Sorry OP, home you manage something.

Shit happens. I can understand your disappointment. Your daughter is being a little ungrateful mare.

You will have a holiday ! Just different to what was planned . But it’s crushing

He might also need to have a look at his own work life balance as two ear drums for such a frequent flyer is concerning

It will feel a bit better in the morning

We're just about to book next year with this lot and they go to Italy www.railbookers.co.uk

I could cry for you. I'm fanatical about my holidays and as much as I'm pretty laid back, I absolutely can't deal with disappointment and would be having a massive tantrum. I'm sure you can find some sort of alternative.

PS I could also guess the sport. It's totally obviously Quidditch.

We've driven to Italy and been by train several times. It's fine.

I don’t really understand. The last time I travelled to Italy we drove ...

Is he on enforced bed-rest?

Thank you for all your suggestions we are very tight on time by the constraints of his job and mine with other staff members holiday. We literally have from 6am 11/8 to 6am 19/8 as availability so I have looked at driving would be two days either end leaving us with 4 actual days holiday and train is around 36 hours so again considerably reducing our time together. One of the big focuses of this week for us is to all be together before he hits the slog that starts bank holiday weekend, so not having him for half the holiday or going alone is not an option.
Anyone who has identified the sport will appreciate what his schedule is like after 19/8. This combined with the fact that we missed our weekend in the Middle East at the end of last season due to the other burst ear drum is one of the teenagers key gripes. The only venue we visit as a family for party night.
Sod's law I can't drown my tears in alcohol and a long bath as I am on call till 5pm Monday.
I have had an initial search for other holidays starting next Saturday there is very little availability I have found a cottage in Richmond in North Yorkshire and an apartment on Guernsey. I would love either of them, but selling them to the teenager I suspect will be hard. I am sure we will sort something, but maybe not quite what I had hoped.

I’d meet him over there. You fly and he can work out how to get home later. He’s already in the right direction in a country with high speed trains. Take some clothes for him, pick the rest up over there...

Sorry to hear about your dh.

I can understand your disappointment that the holiday can't go ahead as initially planned, but do you necessarily have to totally scrap plan A?

We've driven to the Italian lakes before, so not a million miles from Tuscany, and it is certainly doable in 18 hours from the ferry ports. You could even make the journey there and back part if the holiday if you pick nice stopovers in France and southern Germany/Austria.

Not to go full Four Yorkshiremen, but IMO the teenager could do with a firm word about who pays for these holidays and what exactly she has to complain about.

To those suggesting booking something like a cruise, if the OP's DH is in the sport I think it is then that will be the ONLY possible week for them to go away between now and November. So not that easy to book something last minute when you are so restricted on dates. There's a set summer break to the season, so you go away then or not until the entire season is over - there is NO flexibility on dates.

(BTW, it's very obvious from your OP what sport your DP is involved in.)

Immediately obvious to me too but then we are avid followers and have been to a few venues. OP, hope you get something sorted holiday wise.

I don't understand the drama either. You fly as normal, he gets the train or drives. what's the problem?

@Mummyoflittledragon he has to come home to work in London Monday to Friday this week.
In any other circumstances we more time we would absolutely drive to Italy it is just the severe time constraints and wanting to spend the whole week together. We may yet drive once he is back we can look more closely at the logistics.