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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Night out with friends- what am I meant to do?

262 replies

Byitin · 04/08/2018 14:54

AIBU to think I can't win here?

Invited out for drinks with mutual friends. Said friends live about 45 mins from us by car.

Neither me nor DP are big drinkers ìf not driving well each have 4 or 5 drinks at most. Obviously if driving we'd have 1 if that.

Public transport would take at least 2 hours each way and we'd have to leave at 10-10.30 to get last trains back. A taxi would be at least £50 each way which we can't afford.

I offered to drive. However my car is old and has no aircon. So DP clearly thinks it's an empty offer and say 'obviously I will have to drive then'. DPs car has aircon. I'm not insured to drive it though.

I'm not sure what other solution I can give! There's nowhere to stay local to friends and DP wouldn't want to stay over anyway.

What else would you suggest if you were me?

OP posts:
Biscusting · 04/08/2018 15:44

Just a little heads up,

If there is a ‘no deal’ Brexit then there’s a high risk of air con shortages.

It’s a good thing the government is stockpiling conditioned air in big warehouses.

It’s a worry though...

IWouldLikeToKnow · 04/08/2018 15:44

There are three choices from what I can see. I don't really see the issue. 1. You drive both of you. 2. Your partner drives both of you. 3. You drive yourself alone. Life doesn't have to be difficult at all times.

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 04/08/2018 15:44

Just don't go. The excuses about the car and no aircon are pretty pathetic - it's 45 minutes in the early evening with the windows down. Really sounds more to me like neither of you wants to be the one who can't drink.

gamerwidow · 04/08/2018 15:45

Well your DP can’t both not drink and go in your car so he needs to decide what he wants to do the most.
Seriously this is a non issue if it bothers him that much he should just not go and you can have nightbout anc stay over.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 04/08/2018 15:46

What about buying a tandem? I know it's probably too late for tonight but for the future it would be great because it would provide a cool breeze and you could both drink.

Glumglowworm · 04/08/2018 15:46

It’s not bloody rocket science

He drives and has aircon but can’t drink

OR

you drive with no aircon (you will all survive as millions have for decades) and he can drink

OR

you drive with no aircon and no whinging DP

I think the last option is the best oneGrin

EvaHarknessRose · 04/08/2018 15:47

I think you need to try to stop feeling responsible for his feelings. If he drives, say thanks, I’ll drive next time. However, if neither of you really want to go, just don’t go.

MrsGrindah · 04/08/2018 15:48

You don’t want to go do you?

MadeForThis · 04/08/2018 15:48

Random idea - Ask him!!!

What's his suggestion? Sounds like you don't care either way so let him decide.

Muggins123 · 04/08/2018 15:48

Our air conditioning in our car broke last year at the start of a 90 minute drive back from a cat shelter. It was August. At lunchtime. In Kuwait. If was pushing 60 degrees. We are all still alive to tell the tale.

Therealjudgejudy · 04/08/2018 15:49

Can't believe I wasted my time reading this bloody nonsense.

Deciding who cooks dinner in your house must be a nightmare...

pictish · 04/08/2018 15:49

And no, you can’t win.
Whatever you suggest will undoubtedly be wrong and his bad mood will be your fault.

furandchandeliers · 04/08/2018 15:49

Ask him to take his air of reluctance out to your car. Thst should bring the temperature down to a satisfactory level for him. Cheaper than buying a can of Magicool.

GrinGrinGrin

Fang2468 · 04/08/2018 15:52

Tell him to get to poundworld (or equivalent) and buy a little hand held fan and a pack of batteries. Go in your car with all the windows open and the hand held fan on - and a strict instruction of no wingeing due to the heat.
Seriously tell him to get a grip.

RaininSummer · 04/08/2018 15:53

I am surprised aircon is such a big issue. We used to manage very well without it. My car has it, only one which ever has, and.I never even use it as I forget it exists.

FrayedHem · 04/08/2018 15:53

So he would have been a happy passenger if it wasn't so hot today? He wouldn't have found another reason your car was not suitable for the journey?

Blaablaablaa · 04/08/2018 15:53

Missing the point entirely but cars don't have cigarette lighters anymore.......

This seems like a huge drama for a tiny issue. How do you both cope when something really serious crops up?

holyshitdude · 04/08/2018 15:53

Simples!

Night out with friends- what am I meant to do?
Original poster
Byitin · 04/08/2018 15:54

Pictish I suspect you're right.

I've said I don't mind if we don't go, or whose car we take as I really dont mind either way and left it to DP to choose.

OP posts:
diddl · 04/08/2018 15:55

Drive yourself & leave mardyarse at home.

If he wanted to go & drink he'd go in your car.

If he wanted to go & not bothered about a drink he'd take his car.

FrayedHem · 04/08/2018 15:56

What about buying a tandem? I know it's probably too late for tonight but for the future it would be great because it would provide a cool breeze and you could both drink.
GrinGrin
But can you imagine the agony of deciding who was at the front and back? You might think swapping for the return but I'm sure the OP would end up with favourable wind conditions or something.

pictish · 04/08/2018 15:57

Perhaps an angel could fly alongside your car and blow on him through the open window to help keep the ambient temperature down on this extended and gruelling journey? Would that be ok? Ask him, poor lamb.

Happygoldfinch · 04/08/2018 15:58

One of you has to drive - why should you feel guilty about it not being you? Why didn't he come up with the offer first? You shouldn't be feeling guilty, OP - let him drive, and enjoy the night.
And I totally get the air con thing. I have sweated through jeans before whilst stuck on the side that gets the sun, and my shaded OH wondered why I was complaining so much.

TwoBlueShoes · 04/08/2018 15:58

I can't decide if the DP is a passive aggressive twat or if the OP is a paranoid drama queen 🤔

Effendi · 04/08/2018 15:59

Where do you live that your car is so hot in the evening? The Middle East?