Night out with friends- what am I meant to do?

[Byitin]

AIBU to think I can't win here?

Invited out for drinks with mutual friends. Said friends live about 45 mins from us by car.

Neither me nor DP are big drinkers ìf not driving well each have 4 or 5 drinks at most. Obviously if driving we'd have 1 if that.

Public transport would take at least 2 hours each way and we'd have to leave at 10-10.30 to get last trains back. A taxi would be at least £50 each way which we can't afford.

I offered to drive. However my car is old and has no aircon. So DP clearly thinks it's an empty offer and say 'obviously I will have to drive then'. DPs car has aircon. I'm not insured to drive it though.

I'm not sure what other solution I can give! There's nowhere to stay local to friends and DP wouldn't want to stay over anyway.

What else would you suggest if you were me?

I think Op's problem was more 'Help me find a solution where DP doesn't act like a grumpy twat and make me out to be selfish' than 'Help me decide our travel logistics', tbh. To that I say that DP is the problem, special snowflake that he is.

Is he always like that OP, and do you often find yourself looking for ways to make him not sulk/grump?

Come on @Byitin
We all want to know what happened.

@Byitin I’ve no idea what it was about your post that roused the ire of mumsnet.

Your husband sounds pretty nasty if his response to a drinks invite on a hot night is to accuse you of deliberately only offering to drive when it’s not ‘possible’ to do so.

Why can’t he say “that’s kind of you, babe, but I can’t bear a drive without aircon. I’ll drive this time and sort things so another time you can drive my car.”

Because he’s a sulky selfish arse. I hope this is the heat and not his typical behaviour.

You are treading on eggshells here. If all you got was an 'air of reluctance' why aren't yuka haven't a proper straight up conversation with him.
Your assuming he has a problem AND trying to fix it.. without even knowing!

FFS no update?!?!?

Seriously all this over air con? My car has none and I cope.

Pissing myself at this thread! Checking MN as can’t sleep. Don’t have aircon and there’s no breeze

Is this the most ridiculous AIBU question ever?

Yes Maninaskirt especially when the OP can't be bothered to come back and tell us if she survived the drive with no air on or if her husband drove!
I really want to know!

Well if he drove he would have sulked if she drove he would have sulked. What a misery gut! Sounds like a right good night out to look forward too! Bet she didn't go in the end as he prob didn't want to anyway and just manipulated the situation.

Or misery GUTS as most people would say or miserable git would have been more appropriate!

Not having aircon is one of the most bizarre reasons you could come up with for a car being impossible to use for a 45 minute trip. Roughly on a par with "it's got no cup holders, what if we find a cup".

I would honestly expect more people to be concerned about Bluetooth, and it sounds like neither of you wants to go... So just don't go.

Would like to know what happened & also if OP’s DH is generally like this?

Perhaps she's hungover.

This has to be the biggest non event I’ve read on here in a longtime, for the love of god, what the hell are you two like when a proper problem arises?

You don't want to go. Obvious from your replies to everyone. Stay at home then and let your friends put your DP up on the sofa for the night so he can have a drink. Let him drive back in the morning nice and sober. BTW five drinks in an evening is quite a lot where I come from.

Your DP is pathetic!

It sounds like he doesn't actually want to even go.

I would go without him! But first I would offer to drive again but drive around the block a few times without him, with all the windows open, so the car can cool down before the precious little flower gets in!

45 mins without air con? In the evening? And this is a problem?

Oh no, no update? They must have gone in OP's furnace on wheels, were overcome with heat exhaustion before reaching the end of their street and are now in intensive care, being berated by nursing staff for taking such extreme risks.

OP has had a shit time with some of the comments posted. If this is her first MN experience, then can I recommend you try the Relationships board? Your DP sounds hard work and if this isn't one-off behaviour, you've got to understand what you're up against. FOG, you lot. Don't give her a hard time if she isn't aware of it.

Can't believe I wasted my time reading this bloody nonsense.
It ranks well up there with the soup woman and the man who wouldn't eat a starter.

I've just read all this and need to know what happened!! Come back op!

Your DP is being ridiculous. If he insists on aircon then clearly he must drive his own car. If he wants a drink then he goes in yours and opens the windows.

Yours isn't an empty offer. It's an offer and he has a choice to make.

Is he normally difficult like this? Do you have other issues in your relationship? This scenario is such a non issue that there must be more problems in your relationship if he's making it out to be such a big deal.

I didn't know that either, my insurance policy doesn't say anything about address, just that I can drive another car with permission of the owner..... I'm off to double check mh policies again now, not that it makes a difference as I'm the only driver/car owner at my house...

LTB