To feel sad that DS16 is spending the entire summer holidays in his pyjamas?

[Crazyladee]

Okay so we're post gcses and he has had a stressful few months but now a few weeks into the exams ending, he has turned into a lazy slob. He doesn't get dressed, just stays in his pyjamas and apart from coming downstairs to get food or do the odd job for me such as unload the dishwasher, he doesn't leave his bed. We've suggested various things for him to do but he's not interested in any hobbies or activities other than Netflix or the Xbox.
The other day he went for a sleepover at a mates house but he caught the bus home late evening as he missed his own bed!
I said to DH what are all his mates doing but we have worked out that they are all hanging out via the Xbox together all in their respective bedrooms!
We can't exactly drag him out of the house or his bedroom but I can't help but feel sad as I have fond memories of the summer I broke up from school doing all sorts and also having a part time summer job and made quite a bit of cash.
Please tell me I'm not alone or do I really have a reclusive lazy slob for a son??

I think this is probably normal for the teenagers today my 16 year old DD spends hours messaging friends FaceTime etc. This week she has been up early as she is covering friend's paper round. My other DD 15 is very lazy would stay in her PJs all day if I let her. She has recently complained feeling dizzy probably because she barely moves all day! It will be all change in September so I'm letting mine be lazy and stress free as they are mentally exhausted from school etc. I'm glad my children are not the only ones like this

At 16 he really should be involved in a summer job of some sort. I appreciate that he's had a stressful few months but hiding himself up in his room engaging in who knows what for hours on end isn't healthy or useful. I'd disconnect the WiFi, get him to arrange a part time job and organise an epic treat for him at the end of the summer.

That's interesting AlexanderH and I've noticed a similar change in behaviour with one of my DDs if she's spent all day slobbing on a screen. She was like that on Monday when I got home from work, very short with me and snippy. It was late afternoon and she was reluctantly getting ready for her job in a local chippy. When she returned she was chatty and animated, sitting with me and DH.

She doesn't yesterday working with DH and cane home happy and chatty despite it being physical with in the heat.

So there does need to be a balance with these teens, particularly for some with certain personalities. I haven't noticed this with my other DD.

'Spent yesterday'

I have one of those :)
Give him a few more chores, but then let him be. By the time he starts college he'll be ready to get stuck in to his course.
We know a couple of lads who went to primary with our DS. They are out all the time; nice bit of shop-lifting, smoking and drinking in the park; mocking and intimidating nice kids.
I'd rather have my DS slobbing about at home.

Reminds me of a Morrissey song.

The thing that I thought of when reading the OP was the thought of how smelly he must be!

I know I’m a control freak when I read posts like this as I would never allow this to happen. My son did his GCSES this year, he did his CV and has got himself 2 jobs, goes to the gym, has some chores to do and the rest of that time is his to do what he likes. I couldn’t cope with him laying in bed all day it’s such a waste. He hates lying in anyway and is up early, the other day he was at work at 7:30am - 12:30pm, gym at 1pm-2pm then out with friends till 6pm.

Go camping together....just a thought! :)

Mine too. Stuck inside in this gorgeous summer! Wouldn't even come on a gorgeous hols with us so has been left with granny (where there is no xbox at least).

Nice to know I'm not alone. Fed up of asking him to dress/leave house/get air. We haven't even got to errands....

In this heat, staying in pyjamas makes perfect sense (plus saves on washing so saving water). Soon, too soon, he's going to have to start working for exams, at uni, at his job. Let him slob about while he can.

Stuck inside in this gorgeous summer

Sorry, I had a little chuckle at this. I will be spending the entire weekend in my room where I have a portable air con machine! There’s no way I’m going out in this weather! Maybe that’s why I feel some sympathy for OPs teen! I would (do) absolutely stay indoors in this kind of summer at any age because I hate the heat. Now last weekend on the other hand? That was gorgeous!

It’s not too late to sign him up for NCS. He will have the most awesome time! My daughter is on it right now and loving every minute. It’s for 15-17yr olds and each place is worth around £1200 but you can get him on it for just £35 with this code: 5546209
They get an adventure holiday, a week in uni halls learning life skills Etc...highly recommended.
www.ncsyes.co.uk

Sorry, forgot to add...apart from having a fun filled summer and making loads of new friends, when you graduate you can put it on your uni application and cv etc ....it is very highly regarded.

Congratulations OP you have a normal teenager.

Why are you tolerating this slobbish behaviour!? He is a child under your roof... make him get up, get dressed, pull his weight around the house or take away is 'gadgets'. I will never understsnd why so many people on here seem to let their kids rule them and the house...

Leave the boy be. He will have to put his nose to the grindstone soon enough. I would like to know how all the people saying you should make him get dressed/ get a job/ do charity work etc would respond if someone came along on their holiday and insisted they were lazy slobs because they were lounging on the beach not wearing a suit and tie and volunteering at the local charity shop

My dc1 also just completed the NCS challenge. This is the only reason I didn't make her get a holiday job but it's been a great experience - meeting new friends and a good balance of practising new skills which she can put on her CV/ genuinely use in life and charity work. She's also done lots of reading and some exercise. I've just had a massive go because she hasn't done more to help around the house and still expects to be given money for this and that but now feel she is an angel in comparison to this!

Oh, and she's also done her silver D of E expedition and started her volunteering for this. We've also already planned what she will do next summer. She will apply to do work experience with local MP and if she doesn't get that she will do a life guarding course. Stll plenty of time for relaxing - they get about 8 weeks off! I do think they need a bit of pushing from parents though. DD has loved all the activities we've organised but she still hasn't got the orgnanisational skills to sort them ehrself.

We did nothing in our summer holidays, why suddenly all the pushing for jobs courses and friend meet ups? We were barely allowed to use the phone to arrange meet ups let alone the bus fare to get there!!

DD has a summer job and the other two are quite happy in PJs .... I don't see the harm

I don't know GreenTulips, I just know how I would feel and dd1 would feel if someone asked her or she asked herself what she'd done for two months over summer and all she could say was she sat around in her jamas and messed about on the computer. Would feel like a waste to her and me. She won't get the opportunity to do NCS or D of E or some particular sorts of work experience again so why not take them now? She can still spend a lot of time doing very little. But 2 months is a very long time to do nothing productive at all. And the reality is that the dcs will be competing with kids who HAVE spent their time doing a lot of productive things and got a lot out of it too!

I grew up in a house where PJs were if you were extremely ill or bedtime. I was never allowed a lay in. I was never allowed to remain in the bedroom during the day time ever. At 16 I had a part time job and worked more hours during the holidays. If I wanted to meet friends I had to go out of the house (no modern technology).

The thing that I thought of when reading the OP was the thought of how smelly he must be!
Not sure why, the OP didn't say he gave up washing did she? Just sounds a bit mean, tbh

On school holidays (not summer, because they have holiday club every day) my DC spend all day in their pyjamas. They change them every 2 days and have baths.

If he’s 16 and finished GCSEs how come he’s not working a summer job?

For those who control their teens lives I just wonder what age you stop doing this, assuming they still live at home at 18/19? Or maybe you don't?

I don't think it's healthy to spend all summer slobbing in your PJs (or pants in my son's case) but I don't think it's healthy to have your life managed by your parents too much either. I also don't think you can compare 2018 with 30 years ago when I was that age.

All that aside I am out of the house at 7am to go to work so no idea when DS gets up. So long as he does some chores, keeps his bedroom reasonably presentable, goes out playing sport, sees friends or GF some of the time and is happy and interacts with the rest of the family a bit I am OK with that.

I can remember my brother spending most of his time in bed in the summer holidays which drove my parents mad. He is happily married with a very successful career now.