Are we being unreasonable re: baby names or are they?

[HelpMeOutHereASecond]

I'm pregnant, almost 6 months now. We don't know the sex and not through lack of trying. My husband's brothers on/off girlfriend is also pregnant, due a boy imminently.

Since forever, husband has always wanted to name a future son [X name] after his grandfather. Our hypothetical son has always (for years) been going to be called [X name] [Y name], after both of our grandfathers.

When we found out that BiL was expecting a baby (not himself, obviously) we had a word (she was literally 6 weeks pregnant, it's been clear right from the start) and made it clear that we were trying and that this was and had always been our plan regarding naming a boy. We also told them the name we would choose for a girl too. We haven't deviated from these names from the start. Our baby will be either, or, depending on the sex.

Tonight husband gets a text from his brother to say the on/off girlfriend (part of me suspects that it's actually him - they've been very quiet on discussing name ideas for a long time now) really wants to use [X name]. We cannot swap the names around either - they already have a son called [Y name].

We're not wrong to be angry/upset/pissed off/all of the above, right?

If cousin is due imminently then they won't be in the same class.

Hi mums,

I’ve just found out that I’m being made redundant probably next week.

I’m in a managerial role and on a few quid more than NMW. Hubby earns well so will have a couple of months grace before I have to rush into a new role.

Have been told I will be given 4 weeks notice paid and may have to only work a couple of days of it plus redundancy of 1 weeks per per year of employment (4). I will also be paid out any holiday that I am owed.

Is there any other questions that I should be asking?
I don’t want to miss anything. I have 9 staff under me that I want to make sure are protected and fairly treated during the process.

I’m so sorry!!

Tried to start a new thread and posted in here- ignore, will repost!!!

Tallulah you probably should start a new thread. This thread is about baby names

We'll as long as you don't "steal" any of your staffs names they have picked out in case you have a boy you'll be grand

Thanks Tara,

Not trying to hop on.

Apologies Poster!

(And yes, I would be annoyed with name copying)

Tara, you are a hoot 🤔

Not different if they are going to the same schoolnin the same school year ..... they'll look like idiots

I know it feels weird now, OP but just go with the name whatever happens. If it is a boy.

MY DH likes to joke that we only have about 10 names in our (very large) family so there are little, medium, large, tall, old, big, etc. of everyone. Even the pets have the same names as multiple family members. Makes for fun and games but strangely not that much confusion.

It will be fine in the end. Best of luck and enjoy your precious baby

How has Arthur been your chosen name since you were teens, yet you have been together 10 years and are "30 somethings" now?

Anyway.... DS and my DH nephew were born a few days apart. We never discussed names before. DS born first, we announced name.... FIL name.... BIL then said it was the name he wanted but we used it first do he chose a different name.... (I doubt this because he had two previous DS and had not used FIL for either of those).

We all laughed it off and they chose a perfectly lovely other name.

Go for it op. I have a girls name in mind, have said this particularly to the sil who would potentially like it too but not like to use the name. I’ve had two boys so far but if there’s a girl I’ll Use this name. I told people not to bags it but to say what name I’ll use. If sil/nils/siblings use it too I’m fine, although I’ll be amused if they get upset at me using it. In your case if they got too upset Bil can always move out - so win win!

If you like the name use it. Never understand why people get so worked up about this - although to be fair my brother and cousin have same first name as does their uncle so we’ve grown up with it. Good luck with pregnancy

You can get urine dipsticks that tell you the sex of the baby if knowing would help.
Could you not use double barrel name as in your maiden name and married name so cousin would be say James Smith and your baby would be James Adams Smith?

My mind is first born first pick that's why people dont tell others what there going to call the baby because people steal names especially family my mum had to change all three of her kids names because a friends had there's like 2 or three days before evey time and stole it lol she always said you know there name though when you look at there faces and she wouldn't have are names any diffrent now. I literally had to check with my partner and mum and dad to check if I was calling my son a name we already had in the family we have quite a large one my nan is 1 of 7 so lots of great aunts and removed cousins. All I can say is it will just come when you see your baby face he may not look like an archie you never know.

It's always super awkward when this happens, totally understand where you're coming from.

However, I've never really understood why people get named after someone else (for the first name I mean) as why can't they be their own person? I'm just not keen on the little 'John' always being compared to the big 'John'. My DH is the fourth male in his family with a particular first name and second name (its his dad's, grandad and great grandads name). Both his dad and grandad are massive arse holes and I can't think why on earth we'd ever want to name a future son after them and once that name is used up, what about any other sons we might have, what are they called? Is the first son favoured because they've got the family name? Luckily we've had girls! I'm sure you are wanting to name your son after the grandad because he's lovely, but maybe this is an opportunity to just give your little boy his own identity. There may be thousands of you who disagree though!

If their baby is due any day and you are 6 months pregnant, they will not be in the same school year. So stop worrying about it.

I cannot actually believe that you approached a pregnant woman and said she can't use a certain name - even though you weren't even pregnant at that point who does that?!

YABU. They got there first. It's tough shit I'm afraid

For gods sake give your baby their OWN name instead of naming them after a relative. Problem sorted.

It's a non issue to me, I would be flattered if someone copied my name choice. Hope you still use it op

Can't believe people are suggesting changing his SURNAME 🤦‍♀️

Also, I do think discussing names means that name becomes catchy and somehow way more attractive (Emily in Friends for instance )

You “had a word” and tried to put dibs on a name before you were even pregnant? How ridiculous. I’d have completely ignored you and called the baby what I liked.

There are plenty of other names, pick one of those.

Especially since I have just seen the name is Arthur, there are gazillions of much nicer names than that!

You sure SIL isn’t a TOWIE fan and a Baby Diaries fan? Suggest Paul?