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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you would do? Money stolen

190 replies

sosoflymo · 31/07/2018 20:29

NC for this.

£500 has been taken out of my purse in my bag at home. I took it out yesterday to pay the builders who have been doing some work this week.

10000% was in my bag when I went to bed last night as I took my debit card out of my purse as I was ordering a new washing machine.

In the house this morning there has been: DH (no reason what so ever to take it as it’s joint money and obviously aware the builders need paying) DD (8, and have sat her down and asked if she’s been playing in my bag and taken anything etc and insisted she hasn’t) DD (2, so impossible I would unless she’s managed to climb up on the kitchen counter without me noticing/injury) nanny (been with us 6 years and trust her 100000000%) and our new cleaner, who has been with us for 3 weeks.

I didn’t even notice until the builders turned up at lunchtime to collect the money- went in my purse, every penny gone.

No idea what to do. Cleaner had already left and not mentioned anything to nanny as obviously sensitive and wanted to talk to DH. He thinks we need to sit them both down tomorrow for a chat, but haven’t got a clue to go about it.

Help!

OP posts:
Original poster
sosoflymo · 31/07/2018 20:32

Should add- zero signs of a break in, plus there was a number of high value items (mine and DHs iPhones on charge, pretty new TV and DHS MacBook) which would of been easy to steal along with the cash.

OP posts:
Pickleypickles · 31/07/2018 20:37

Does the cleaner belong to an agency? You could speak to them? I would probably phone the police over that much money tbh though.

LeftRightCentre · 31/07/2018 20:39

Holy shit! I'd talk to the cleaner's agency.

Strawberrybelly · 31/07/2018 20:40

I would talk to the cleaner and I would be inclined to report it to the police.

ShirleyPhallus · 31/07/2018 20:42

I think it was Professor Plum in the study with the candle stick

(The cleaner dunnit obviously)

Neverenoughspoons · 31/07/2018 20:43

Police surely. I can't imagine the cleaner is going to say she took it & hand it over. Could she have overheard that you had a lot of cash in the house?

InspectorIkmen · 31/07/2018 20:43

Why would you not involve the Police in this?

Neverenoughspoons · 31/07/2018 20:44

No point speaking to her is what I meant. Straight to the police I think.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 31/07/2018 20:45

Someone knew you had that money in your purse

Felicitycity · 31/07/2018 20:45

Obs the cleaner - how horrid

LanguidLobster · 31/07/2018 20:45

That's not nice, OP, sorry. Did you have to run to the bank for replacement money for builders?

I'd report, hope talk goes ok tomorrow.

Moltenpink · 31/07/2018 20:47

Check and double check the bag, lining, behind the table it was on etc

sockunicorn · 31/07/2018 20:47

OP i would get them both in tomorrow and explain youre going to the police. give her a chance to own up.

would speak to them separately as shes more likely to own up in private

Original poster
sosoflymo · 31/07/2018 20:49

DH also mentioned police but I was reluctant. I have no evidence and scared of the repercussions if we go pointing fingers..

Cleaner is fortunately from an agency..

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 31/07/2018 20:49

Do not rule anyone out.
Unfortunately, opportunity is sometimes the temptation. With a new cleaner, this can give rise to anyone taking it and blaming her "as she's new", so don't make any assumptions.

I had 3 people in a building society - been working there together for 10 years plus. One of them nicked £10K and was happy to let the other 2 fall udner suspicion. Totally ruined the relationships.

I made them sit together and said, "so, you know how you each like and respect each other? Well one of you stole £9K and is happy to make the other 2 of you go through this shitstorm of suspicion". They still did not return the money or own up...

Tistheseason17 · 31/07/2018 20:49

*£10K

Original poster
sosoflymo · 31/07/2018 20:50

Molten- me and DH have turned the house upside down, literally. I did find my lost credit card, about £4 in loose change, a key to my mums old flat and DD2s first dummy though Hmm

OP posts:
waxy1 · 31/07/2018 20:51

You were stupid to leave it lying around.

Hope you’ve learned something.

Racecardriver · 31/07/2018 20:53

This happened to someone I knew. They were of the guilty champagne socialist variety. They reported the cleaner to the agency who said that her other client had been told and were still happy to use her. They didn't call the police. What mugs.

ShirleyPhallus · 31/07/2018 20:54

You were stupid to leave it lying around

Hmm
NaomiNagata · 31/07/2018 20:55

If you're sure it's the cleaner, you could say to her that you have nanny cams around the house (you have a nanny so it's believable that you have wee cameras set up) and tell her you know she took it as you have it on video, and if she returns it then you'll say no more to anyone. But that only works if you're 100% sure that it's her.

YeTalkShiteHen · 31/07/2018 20:55

You were stupid to leave it lying around

In your handbag, in your own home is the definition of NOT leaving it lying around!

LanguidLobster · 31/07/2018 20:55

@Tistheseason17 you already knew for sure it was the one? So the police got involved?

I guess the purse could be fingerprinted, it's very brazen theft and going to be hard to prove.

NaomiNagata · 31/07/2018 20:56

@waxy1

Lieing around... in her purse... in her bag... inside her own house. Yeah, big lessons to learn from that!

waxy1 · 31/07/2018 20:58

My mistake. The money was brilliantly looked after.

So where is it?