To ask what you would do? Money stolen

[sosoflymo]

NC for this.

£500 has been taken out of my purse in my bag at home. I took it out yesterday to pay the builders who have been doing some work this week.

10000% was in my bag when I went to bed last night as I took my debit card out of my purse as I was ordering a new washing machine.

In the house this morning there has been: DH (no reason what so ever to take it as it’s joint money and obviously aware the builders need paying) DD (8, and have sat her down and asked if she’s been playing in my bag and taken anything etc and insisted she hasn’t) DD (2, so impossible I would unless she’s managed to climb up on the kitchen counter without me noticing/injury) nanny (been with us 6 years and trust her 100000000%) and our new cleaner, who has been with us for 3 weeks.

I didn’t even notice until the builders turned up at lunchtime to collect the money- went in my purse, every penny gone.

No idea what to do. Cleaner had already left and not mentioned anything to nanny as obviously sensitive and wanted to talk to DH. He thinks we need to sit them both down tomorrow for a chat, but haven’t got a clue to go about it.

Help!

i wouldn't discount the 8 yo, sorry. i was a bit of a kleptomaniac when i was young, and I'm ashamed to admit stole from my mums purse at about that age, and then lied about it. I'm perfectly honest and normal now but at the time i didn't really understand the depth of the actions - i just wanted something and took it.

I wouldn't make any accusations. It could be the cleaner, nanny, builder or family member. I would be quite open that this had happened though and that you are calling the police because you cannot believe that anybody in your home would do this

Call the police, see what happens.

If the money doesn't turn up - I would in future- be more careful where I left my bag / money; get a nanny-cam; and eventually I would replace the nanny and cleaner as I couldn't ever properly trust them again. Likewise I'd never use those particular builders again.

Has the OP been back?

Jeremy Kyle lie detector test!

In all seriousness, this happened to my DM years ago. She held a BBQ for close friends and left her handbag on the kitchen worktop. The only reason people went in the house was to use the loo. Her purse got stolen, only close friends were there and no real possibility of it being a stranger. She was so upset at the thought of it being any of those people. It’s gutting to trust people and have them betray you like this.

I wouldn’t be jumping straight on the cleaner. Get in touch with the agency and explain the situation, I’m sure this wouldn’t be the first time someone would do something like this so maybe there’s been a report against her before. Seems foolish to risk her job over £500 though...

I wouldn’t rule out the nanny although she must be desperate if she hasn’t taken anything before and suddenly steals that.

Report it to the police anyway as you may be able to claim some on your contents insurance, although it's likely that the claimable limit is under £500

Was there any update on this?

I would text ‘has anyone seen £500 in the house? hopefully it will turn up tomorrow. Planning to call police Tuesday’

The thing is, one of the DCs could have picked it up and put it somewhere, and have genuinely forgotten, especially the little one. My DS once out my purse out of sight as a joke, then forgot, until about a week later when we found it...after I had cancelled every card...
Not certain whether the money was in your purse though (as against a separate envelope or similar).

If it has been taken out of a purse it seems a lot less likely to be something that a child might do and forget, but they still may have taken it without thinking about what that means and the seriousness of it). They may be scared to admit they took it now - could be worth offering some sort of amnesty to older DC (and ignoring the denials that you'll get, just set out what needs to happen if they were to remember something..).
Makes me want to have CCTV all over my house, just in case :-/.

Honestly ...my 18 month old can climb into my kitchen cabinets , check the bin and washer or DVD player ... probably been posted 😂😂

Could it be the nanny who needs some money urgently (unexpected bill/in debt), but rather than asking to borrow it has taken it and will "miraculously" find the envelope in a couple of weeks down the side of the sofa "where one of the children has hidden it"?

The minute you sit nanny down she will quit. If you trust he as you say, absolutely no need to eveb mention it to her.

I don’t think these texts and amnesty suggestions are going to achieve anything really. Why would the thief return the money? They knew when they stole it that you’d notice it was missing, they’re not likely to freak out with fear and return it because the police are involved. Unfortunately, they know the police won’t be able to find out who is responsible, and they know when asked they simply deny it.

I’m sorry to say Op that I find it unlikely you’ll ever find out. Hope it’s covered by insurance

I had medication go missing. I suspected the cleaners but never did find out for sure. The “fired” me interesting enough before I confirm with video evidence🤬

I'm ashamed to say that 8yo me stole money out of my mum's purse, and hid it in my "running away" rucksack behind the shed in the garden. When asked, I lied about it till I was blue in the face. I never ran away, and I was otherwise a very well behaved child. I may well have taken a large amount, not realising the full consequences. You can't rule everyone else out on trust and blame one person without proof.

Why would the thief return the money? They knew when they stole it that you’d notice it was missing, they’re not likely to freak out with fear and return it because the police are involved.
People aren't always deeply logical you know, especially when doing spur of the moment things. Someone could well have thought it through after taking the money on impulse, and be wondering how the hell to get out of this situation.

Any update on this OP?

My 6 year old DS was playing with a necklace of mine recently and it went missing. He swore blind that he hadn’t moved it and seemed as perplexed as the rest of us about its whereabouts. DH later found the necklace in the centre console of his car...where DS had put it for safe keeping when he realised he was holding it as DH as taking him to school. DS only remembered that after DH found the necklace which triggered his memory. A large sum of money is a bit different...but kids do move things and forget about doing so!

Update?

See how there's a stepfather involved? Men like that seek out vulnerable, or sick minded women.

Police won't investigate though will they? So mentioning 'police taking fingerprints' will make you look foolish to the thief.

Could you have left the money at the bank? It sounds silly but I pass an atm going to work. I have often seen people walking away without their card/money.

There is nothing wrong with paying cash- it doesn’t mean the the work isn’t being invoiced etc.

It was professor plum. He decided to teach you a lesson that you are too trusting.
I hope your DH is professor plum though.
That's pretty shit. I hope you get it back