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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask what you would do? Money stolen

190 replies

sosoflymo · 31/07/2018 20:29

NC for this.

£500 has been taken out of my purse in my bag at home. I took it out yesterday to pay the builders who have been doing some work this week.

10000% was in my bag when I went to bed last night as I took my debit card out of my purse as I was ordering a new washing machine.

In the house this morning there has been: DH (no reason what so ever to take it as it’s joint money and obviously aware the builders need paying) DD (8, and have sat her down and asked if she’s been playing in my bag and taken anything etc and insisted she hasn’t) DD (2, so impossible I would unless she’s managed to climb up on the kitchen counter without me noticing/injury) nanny (been with us 6 years and trust her 100000000%) and our new cleaner, who has been with us for 3 weeks.

I didn’t even notice until the builders turned up at lunchtime to collect the money- went in my purse, every penny gone.

No idea what to do. Cleaner had already left and not mentioned anything to nanny as obviously sensitive and wanted to talk to DH. He thinks we need to sit them both down tomorrow for a chat, but haven’t got a clue to go about it.

Help!

OP posts:
Bizzylizzyloo · 01/08/2018 08:59

*cant feasibly question, that should say

Basta · 01/08/2018 09:11

You're lucky they only took £500 and not the full £50,000.

musicalxo · 01/08/2018 09:18

Agree with ShatnersWig. Something similar happened to my brother's cleaner (no nanny, just cleaner in the house). They didn't have evidence, but left a small sum of money on the table the next day and set up a cam. Money disappeared once again.

MollyHuaCha · 01/08/2018 09:19

I used to pay my builder part payments in cash, he was one man and an apprentice. It helped him with cash flow, paying the boy's wages on a Friday, materials for the next phase etc.

Er, helping him with 'cash flow' probably means it was undeclared income and no tax was paid.

And why would he have a boy as an apprentice? Surely an apprentice has to be at least of late teen age?

19lottie82 · 01/08/2018 09:24

Er, helping him with 'cash flow' probably means it was undeclared income and no
tax was paid.

Er, Not necessarily. I run a garage and we need a cash float for various costs. Some customers pay in cash and it’s always declared, should it go in the bank or not.
Most tradesmen will need access to cash at some point, it doesn’t make them all tax dodgers!

And re the boy comment, I think it’s perfectly clear what was meant, don’t you? I would hardly say it’s insulting to call someone 16-18 a boy. Hmm

PeterPiperPickedSeaShells · 01/08/2018 09:33

Whilst I agree with reporting it to the police, I don't think you can expect the police to investigate this - they are just too overstretched & underfunded. A crime reference number may be needed should you decide to make an insurance claim

FiestaThenSiesta · 01/08/2018 09:39

I think it was your kids.

speakout · 01/08/2018 10:21

Any developments OP?

purplelila2 · 01/08/2018 11:08

Just because the cleaner is new doesn't mean she took it... maybe the nanny maybe has debts who knows?

hungryants · 01/08/2018 12:04

Did any of the builders have the opportunity ? Or a key ? They knew you would be paying them and that you would have the cash in the house.

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 01/08/2018 22:45

Hope you found it

willyloman · 01/08/2018 22:49

Could it have fallen out in car? Just a thought...

pippop1317 · 02/08/2018 08:30

Any updates op?

southeastdweller · 02/08/2018 09:07

For my own satisfaction to find out if it was the cleaner or not, I'd lay a trap for her as Shatnerswig suggested. But that still wouldn't bring the money back. The police have got better things to do so I'd write off the money if I were you and be more careful in future.

HappydaysArehere · 02/08/2018 09:20

I know this isn’t helpful but cannot understand leaving your bag downstairs in the kitchen while you are upstairs at night and when there are other people around. I always take my handbag up to our bedroom at night simply afraid of break ins. Sorry for your problem and hope it gets sorted soon. Let us know what happens.

Tipsylizard · 02/08/2018 09:32

I had my debit card taken and a transaction went through my account. I didnt suspect our nanny at all and assumed ut had been stolen. Reported it to my bank who advisedbit went through an IP address through which i would normally access my bank account. Turns out it was the nanny who used her phone and it went through our wireless router whilst I was at work. Angry. You need to report it to the police to get the CRN and although unlikely they may investigate.

Flowers
CoraPirbright · 02/08/2018 09:50

I think this from chocolateworshipper is a good idea:
text cleaner and nanny with "I'm going this report a theft to the police. Before I do that, I just wanted to check whether you had seen anything suspicious so I can give the police all of the information." There's a tiny chance that one of them will suddenly remember seeing some cash in a weird place that "must have fallen out of your handbag when DD2 knocked it"

Def could be the 2 yr old. But for everyone saying it cant be the cleaner because they would always be the first one under suspicion/they’ll never work again, there is an agency near us that my friends all know not to use as the cleaners stole many items from a friend including her engagement ring. Couldn’t prove anything but friend says there is no one else it could possibly be.

MunchMunch · 02/08/2018 13:40

If you suspect the cleaner just ask her anyway as either way she won't be working for you again.

If I was the cleaner and I was suspected of taking money I would refuse to go back even if I was innocent. That would probably seal my fate as the thief but I wouldn't want to work somewhere where the family didn't trust me and I was always going to be blamed.

zippey · 02/08/2018 13:44

F you think it’s the cleaner I’d let the cleaner go. I wouldn’t go to the police unless £500 was a lot of money to me. If you can afford to hire a cleaner and a nanny then I’d suggest that you can afford to chalk this up to a bad experience.

HughLauriesStubble · 02/08/2018 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

easterholidays · 02/08/2018 13:55

I wouldn’t go to the police unless £500 was a lot of money to me

I can't imagine anyone other than maybe a multi-millionaire for whom £500 wouldn't be a lot of money!

ConkerGame · 02/08/2018 14:01

Don’t rule out DD1 - ashamed to say I took something very valuable from my mum when I was about her age. (Although tbf money is maybe not as attractive to children as actual items)

ConkerGame · 02/08/2018 14:05

As for the cleaner and nanny - I would say to each of them separately (implying that you think it was the other one that took it), that you’ve had the police round and they’ve taken fingerprints from the handbag so if the money doesn’t appear within 48 hours they will take everyone’s fingerprints.

If one of them did it, they will be terrified and probably return the money (either through letterbox or oh what a surprise, I’ve just found it hidden behind the bed - must’ve fallen down there!). The one who didn’t do it won’t get annoyed at you for suspecting them as you’re not accusing anyone.

LilyandRose · 02/08/2018 16:11

This might sound crazy but have you checked your bank account to ensure you actually did withdraw it .... sometimes we can be convinced we did something but actually didn't.

sockunicorn · 02/08/2018 16:41

any update OP?