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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask what you would do? Money stolen

190 replies

sosoflymo · 31/07/2018 20:29

NC for this.

£500 has been taken out of my purse in my bag at home. I took it out yesterday to pay the builders who have been doing some work this week.

10000% was in my bag when I went to bed last night as I took my debit card out of my purse as I was ordering a new washing machine.

In the house this morning there has been: DH (no reason what so ever to take it as it’s joint money and obviously aware the builders need paying) DD (8, and have sat her down and asked if she’s been playing in my bag and taken anything etc and insisted she hasn’t) DD (2, so impossible I would unless she’s managed to climb up on the kitchen counter without me noticing/injury) nanny (been with us 6 years and trust her 100000000%) and our new cleaner, who has been with us for 3 weeks.

I didn’t even notice until the builders turned up at lunchtime to collect the money- went in my purse, every penny gone.

No idea what to do. Cleaner had already left and not mentioned anything to nanny as obviously sensitive and wanted to talk to DH. He thinks we need to sit them both down tomorrow for a chat, but haven’t got a clue to go about it.

Help!

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 31/07/2018 21:00

waxy1 nobody likes a smart arse.

Or indeed someone determined to blame OP for somebody invading her privacy by going into her handbag, then her purse and helping themselves to £500!

Returnofthesmileybar · 31/07/2018 21:01

I would text the cleaner

"Hi all, we have had a large sum of money go missing from our house today. We have contacted the police and will be asking for finger prints to be taken. It has been suggested to me that before the pive arrive that I text everyone in the house today to give them a chance to come forward to us as opposed to the police. There is no offense meant, no accusations and everyone is getting this text"

Or similar to that,but only text the cleaner

NaomiNagata · 31/07/2018 21:02

@waxy1

If you leave £500 sitting on a table in a pub and somebody lifts it, then you need to take some blame.

If you leave money in your handbag in your own house and someone comes in and takes it, then you are not to blame.

Stop being a victim blaming twit. On this occasion, the OP did not invite theft.

HollowTalk · 31/07/2018 21:04

Did you have just the £500 and nothing else in your purse, OP? Was it in a zip compartment? Just wondering how opportunistic this theft was.

waxy1 · 31/07/2018 21:05

So far as I can see, there are not one but two employees in the house. I’m assuming the family members are trustworthy, although I don’t know them.

The OP should’ve known better, but if she can’t learn from this, she will never learn at all.

birdonawire1 · 31/07/2018 21:06

You need to contact the police and hopefully they can take fingerprints.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 31/07/2018 21:06

I would do what return said.

I’d ignore Waxy. Victim blaming is pathetic.

LanguidLobster · 31/07/2018 21:06

One family member is only 2yo

Betsy86 · 31/07/2018 21:07

So awful knowing someone did that to you in your own home.
I hope you get to the bottom of it and get your cash back.
P.s... also think it was the cleaner...

Tistheseason17 · 31/07/2018 21:09

@LanguidLobster
Yep, we had video of the vault and only 3 people went in and came out.
Police were involved. No proof and the brazen thief denied, denied, denied.

We think we knew who it was but without proof, not even the police can do anything - can't prosecute all 3 of them.

It was a sad time.

Crunchymum · 31/07/2018 21:09

I had the cleaner take some money from us. I didn't leave it laying around. It was in an envelope, at the bottom of a drawer and wasn't banked as I couldn't walk with arthritis.

I was very careful in my wording to the agency but I made damn sure they knew I strongly suspected the cleaner. She is off duty now anyway as she is under investigation for "damage at another property" Shock

LanguidLobster · 31/07/2018 21:10

I can't believe they got away with it!!

LanguidLobster · 31/07/2018 21:11

**to Tistheseason

GlitteryFluff · 31/07/2018 21:11

I would speak to them both, mention police will be contacted if it isn't returned and hope it reappears.

Tistheseason17 · 31/07/2018 21:12

@LanguidLobster - me either. Worst bit is they'd left the safe open cause, ready for it..... " we trust each other..."

OrchidsAreSlags · 31/07/2018 21:13

*My mistake. The money was brilliantly looked after.

So where is it?*

Wow. Nice victim blaming. It's always the victim's fault when a crime is committed against them.

Rachie1986 · 31/07/2018 21:14

Police, no question.

Shutupsidney · 31/07/2018 21:15

I'd not forget the nanny myself.... trusting 1000000%, yep just like those women whose husbands are shagging someone else.

hopeidontpoisonmyself · 31/07/2018 21:15

My friend had money stolen by her cleaner. It was in a bottom drawer of a chest of drawers.
She text the cleaner and said that money had gone missing and that the police had found a series of fingerprints on the drawer so would be contacting her to take her finger prints to rule her out.
During the night after the text was sent the full amount of money was posted back through her letter box.

dustarr73 · 31/07/2018 21:16

Dont give them a heads up with a text.Police should deal with this.

Bluntness100 · 31/07/2018 21:16

Who knew the money was there op and who had the uninterrupted opportunity to go through your purse?

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 31/07/2018 21:17

Waxy It doesn’t matter if the OP left a trail of £20 notes laying across the hallway, she should be able to leave money in her house and not risk it being stolen.

Nice bit of victim blaming there. Fucking hell

Flyingpompom · 31/07/2018 21:19

Do they both know that the other one was in the house? I'm just thinking if they were there at different times the one who took it wiithink you are certain it was them. So you could bluff it.
I think I'd text the cleaner saying "if you return my money tomorrow I won't contact the police." Maybe let on you have CCTV evidence or something?
Obviously you can't rule out the nanny, but if the cleaner is very new you don't yet have that trust built up.
Who does your gut say it is?

TheOxymoron · 31/07/2018 21:21

@ waxy1
If you had an arrangement to pay a builder £500 cash, where would you leave it that is safe exactly?

If somebody breaks in your house then I guess it’s your fault for being daft and having windows and doors that could be broken into despite the fact you locked them.
I don’t think you realise how ridiculous your statement was.
The woman is in a terrible situation where she is £500 lighter despite taking no “unreasonable risk” and in a precarious position with people she has trusted in her own home and your answer is to make a silly statement that is in no way constructive.

itswinetime · 31/07/2018 21:21

I think your wrong to discount anyone at this stage. Who knew the money was in the purse? Why would someone be going through your purse on the off chance? I agree best thing to do is not let on to anyone and give them a chance to have stories ect call the police and let them investigate it's their job

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