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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you would do? Money stolen

190 replies

sosoflymo · 31/07/2018 20:29

NC for this.

£500 has been taken out of my purse in my bag at home. I took it out yesterday to pay the builders who have been doing some work this week.

10000% was in my bag when I went to bed last night as I took my debit card out of my purse as I was ordering a new washing machine.

In the house this morning there has been: DH (no reason what so ever to take it as it’s joint money and obviously aware the builders need paying) DD (8, and have sat her down and asked if she’s been playing in my bag and taken anything etc and insisted she hasn’t) DD (2, so impossible I would unless she’s managed to climb up on the kitchen counter without me noticing/injury) nanny (been with us 6 years and trust her 100000000%) and our new cleaner, who has been with us for 3 weeks.

I didn’t even notice until the builders turned up at lunchtime to collect the money- went in my purse, every penny gone.

No idea what to do. Cleaner had already left and not mentioned anything to nanny as obviously sensitive and wanted to talk to DH. He thinks we need to sit them both down tomorrow for a chat, but haven’t got a clue to go about it.

Help!

OP posts:
TheOxymoron · 31/07/2018 21:22

OP, are you able to narrow down who entered the room with the bag in?

speakout · 31/07/2018 21:23

I wouldn't rule anyone out.

When I was 17 I got a summer job in a shop, had been there only two weeks, when £100 went missing out of the till.

I had been using the till at lunchtime to allow another staff member to have her lunch.
There were three staff members used the till that day- me and two women who had been working in the store for 10 years or so.
No one else had access to the till that day.

The next morning I was taken into the managers office and sacked for theft.
It wasn't me but I knew that I was a very convenient person to blame.
I was upset and indignant.
The real thief got off with the money.

Original poster
sosoflymo · 31/07/2018 21:24

Only me and DH knew it was there. Builders left an invoice on Friday in a sealed envelope which was still sealed when I got home and opened it and put it in the intrays Texted the builders to say come round today to get the cash.

OP posts:
MuncheysMummy · 31/07/2018 21:26

Hid send a text to the cleaner saying the Money has been stolen and the police have been and fingerprinted and found prints and will be collecting prints for comparison tomorrow from EVERYBODY who has been in the house, the only way to stop this is if the money is posted through the letterbox overnight tonight in full in which case noth8mg further will be said.Then train a camera on your front door overnight and catching the culprit and give the evidence to the police anyway!

Tistheseason17 · 31/07/2018 21:26

That is so unfair @Speakout
Hope you got on in life after that

Hideandgo · 31/07/2018 21:26

Sigh. This reminds me that my 5 yr olds money box got cleaned out of notes. I’m not sure when but it’s a bit tricky to open so whoever needed time and freedom to do it. I hate to think about it. It was about £30 but we do have bigger sums of money around the house at times and it worries me. I just feel really bad for him.

paxillin · 31/07/2018 21:28

The one who knew you'd have that much money in the house was the builder you texted. Not an enormous leap to check a handbag.

MuncheysMummy · 31/07/2018 21:28

Oh and the police will NOT investigate past finger prints and even then only if your lucky!

speakout · 31/07/2018 21:29

Tistheseason17 yes, no lasting damage thanks, but taught me a valuable life lesson.

MollyHuaCha · 31/07/2018 21:30

I'm not sure you're going to find this out. If you accuse cleaner and it wasn't actually her, that would be awful for her.

hidinginthenightgarden · 31/07/2018 21:30

Paxillin, the builders arriving and money being discovered missing probably happened at around the same time. I doubt they could be that crafty as to do when she was in front of them!

itswinetime · 31/07/2018 21:32

send a text to the cleaner saying the Money has been stolen and the police have been and fingerprinted and found prints and will be collecting prints for comparison tomorrow from EVERYBODY who has been in the house,

Cleaner has been in the house though and can legitimately say she moved ops bag to clean! Plus when she doesn't return the money and then no police show up it shows the op as a liar. Just actually call the police and let things be handled the right way

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 31/07/2018 21:35

Definitely call the police and let them look into it (not that they will do much), and inform the cleaner, agency, builders and nanny that the police will be in touch.

It was probably the cleaner (light fingered people would always look in a handbag on the off-chance), but also just possible the nanny might be in need of money and would know the cleaner would be blamed.

You might be able to reclaim on your insurance?

speakout · 31/07/2018 21:35

So it can't have been the builders- they had no opportunity.

Was your bag in the kitchen all morning?
Is it near a door?
Could you have put it somewhere else for safekeeping?

NameChanger22 · 31/07/2018 21:37

Will the police be interested? I doubt it. They don't come out to burglaries anymore. It was either the builders, the nanny of the cleaner. You might have to do your own detective work. I doubt you will see your money again. People don't often get their stuff back.

waxy1 · 31/07/2018 21:42

You can all get on my case if you enjoy it, but it ill-serves the victim.

In any group of people, there is a thief. A thief with access looks in your bag and purse, any chance they get. If they see a worthwhile some of money, they consider stealing it. In this sort of situation, with more than one alternative suspect, your dishonest employee steals the money.

I don’t see this as being my fault.

ithoughtisawapuddycat · 31/07/2018 21:45

Are you sure it's not the nanny? New cleaner could have given her the chance to ensure someone else takes the blame!

chocolateworshipper · 31/07/2018 21:45

Another option - text cleaner and nanny with "I'm going this report a theft to the police. Before I do that, I just wanted to check whether you had seen anything suspicious so I can give the police all of the information." There's a tiny chance that one of them will suddenly remember seeing some cash in a weird place that "must have fallen out of your handbag when DD2 knocked it"

It doesn't sound like you are accusing anyone that way. Sadly, I think the posters who say the police won't do much are probably right.

Freshfeelings · 31/07/2018 21:45

Oh I'm sorry. I had money (my whole purse in my case) taken by a cleaner and it was a very unhappy feeling. First I knew of it was police phoning me to say someone had found my purse lying in the street in town and I was shocked and said 'I haven't been to town today' then I checked and my card had been used for a few really low value contactless payments in crappy shops. Police did nothing, I felt horrible and quite honestly I'm not sure what she got out of it as I contacted the agency, she was asked not to return and what she spent was less than she'd have earned from us in a week. :(

I think maybe contact the cleaner yourself or the agency, I'm not convinced the police will be helpful.

DesignStatement · 31/07/2018 21:46

You need to report to police to get a crime rev number for insurance anyway.

Jjjjigoo · 31/07/2018 21:47

I'd call the police but I think you'll just have to write it off. Has the nanny been acting strangely recently?

Papergirl1968 · 31/07/2018 21:48

I would ask the cleaner face to face. So much harder for her to lie that way. I’d tell her that before contacting police you’re giving the person responsible chance to give the money back. Saying you have nanny cam is a good idea too.

Papergirl1968 · 31/07/2018 21:48

And if the cleaner appears to be telling the truth, do the same with the nanny...

HisBetterHalf · 31/07/2018 21:50

What about one of the builders?

whispertome · 31/07/2018 21:54

The cleaner would be an idiot to do this, it would almost certainly mean she'd be sacked and could never work again

It's also strange she would go in your purse on the off chance there would be money in there.

Do you think she has an addiction of some sort?

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