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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Getting married in jeans and a t shirt

194 replies

Bunnyattack · 29/07/2018 08:33

I hear this all the time...people saying along the lines of they would be happy to gondown the registry office in jeans and a t shirt....has anyone ever done this or not worn a transitional wedding dress??
Had a very small casual wedding??

I love the idea of it but have never actually come across anyone who has had a proper low key wedding

OP posts:
Purplevicki · 29/07/2018 14:16

Not me, but a couple of friends. She wore white jeans, a casual top and an unusual jacket. He worse jeans, a casual shirt and cowboy boots. It was totally them!

MuddyForestWalks · 29/07/2018 14:18

I never said I wanted people talking about my wedding and I really couldn't care less whether they did or didn't Confused I was answering the OP, who said she didn't know of any tiny weddings. I was pointing out that one is less likely to hear about a tiny wedding because they are tiny and nobody knows about them to talk about them, which will give the erroneous impression that they are vanishingly rare.

BroomstickOfLove · 29/07/2018 14:20

MuddyForestWalks has never said that people need to talk about her (or his) wedding. She was responding to the OPs comment that the OP had never actually come across anyone who has had a proper low key wedding, and explaining why this this didn't mean that low key wedding GS were unusual. I really don't see why you are attacking her for that perfectly innocuous comment.

BroomstickOfLove · 29/07/2018 14:21

Ah, crossposted.

Tara336 · 29/07/2018 14:31

@CryptoFascist thanks I’ll take a look

lindalee3 · 29/07/2018 14:31

@BroomstickOfLove

MuddyForestWalks has never said that people need to talk about her (or his) wedding.

You're wrong. That is EXACTLY what @muddyforestwalks said.

They said;

'If you only have 4 people at your wedding, you are not going to have everyone talking about your wedding like you would if you have EIGHTY people.' They said this after they announced they had a huge wedding with many people.......

If that is not saying they wanted people to be discussing their wedding, then I don't know what is!!!!

How LOVELY of you to come on this thread PURELY to defend muddy though. Wink

MuddyForestWalks · 29/07/2018 14:35

No, lindalee3, that is not what I said at all, but clearly you have a bone to pick or a chip on your shoulder or something, and have no intention of letting actual facts get in the way. Crack on. I'm just off to clutch my wedding dress to my chest sobbing about the passing of my beauty, and post some vaguebook statuses to ensure people are talking about me 😂😂😂😂😂

MuddyForestWalks · 29/07/2018 14:35

Oh and I didn't have 80 people at my wedding

HRTpatch · 29/07/2018 14:36

I hate dressing up. But bought a red dress to get married in (we got married abroad, just the 2 of us). Got changed within a couple of hours into jeans Grin
Dress now sold.

Nicolamarlow1 · 29/07/2018 14:40

I wore a traditional wedding dress (1970s) but made it myself for my small wedding. It cost all of £11 in those days. I made my veil the night before my wedding, and here we are still after 43 years, 2 children and 3 grandchildren.

BroomstickOfLove · 29/07/2018 14:43

Actually, I posted because I'd been enjoying the thread, being very much in favour of tiny low-key weddings, and I was getting a bit frustrated that you seemed to be missing the point a bit.

Pretty much everyone in my family has gone for the tiny wedding in ordinary clothes approach. My uncle's kids did wear matching T-shirts with a bow tie print to his wedding. I didn't go to my sister's 2 witness wedding. My stepbrother texted his mum after his wedding to let her know he'd got married. The biggest family wedding I have been to had 20 guests, the bride wore black trousers and a pair of silver Vans and we went out for a meal afterwards and then the family all went home together and ate cheese and crackers by the fire.

I have one cousin who did the whole white dress and formal meal thing, but that's one person out of around 25 or so potential weddings.

Wishiwasa · 29/07/2018 14:43

Got given a wedding dress that had been used as an example for a dress designer and then used in stage productions. Was still covered in heavy orange stage make up but I loved the chance to wear something different.

Wishiwasa · 29/07/2018 14:44

Off the point, I know, but I've always loved the kind gesture.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 29/07/2018 14:46

We got married in jeans and shirts.

DH had an ancient Marks smart casual/weekend button down and jeans, I had my most flattering boot cuts (don't judge, it was a few years ago) and a brown T shirt. We both wore hiking boots.

For us, it was very romantic as it was the exact outfits we'd been wearing when we met, 4 years to the day earlier.

I don't understand people who compare low key weddings like ours to getting married in Vegas. Nothing wrong with Vegas if that is your thing, but flying halfway across the world to the neon capital of gambling and strip joints is hardly low key!

After our wedding, we took a small local train to a Cornish fishing village, walked on the coast path above the sea, and had fish and chips by the harbour. Just us. It was perfect and magical and felt like our special little secret. I loved it.

AudreyBillingham · 29/07/2018 14:47

@lindalee3

If there are 5 people at a wedding it is likely that only those 5 people will talk about it.

If there are 100 people at a wedding then there may be 100 people talking about it.

So big weddings get talked about more than small ones and therefore people get the impression that they occur more often.

My parents got married in jeans and shirts in the 70s.. I want a small wedding too but jeans make my thighs look massive so I think I'll wear a dress Grin

goose1964 · 29/07/2018 14:49

My brother in law wore black jeans, black shirt and shoelace tie. DSis wore traditional wedding dress. He ! looked fine

NutElla5x · 29/07/2018 14:57

I've never been one to dream of the big fairytale wedding,and have never been too bothered getting wed at all.but I agreed to it when my daughter was 18 months old-mostly because I didn't like having a different surname to her.I got a cream skirt suit at the knockdown price of £20 in the Debenhams sale and got married at the town hall 3 minutes up the road with just my mum,brother,best friend and husband's best friend and his brother then back to ours for drinks and pizza.Each to their own but the pomp and ceremony of a church wedding imo is pointless if you're not religious, and is more for show than anything else.

IceCreamFace · 29/07/2018 14:58

Unless you are marrying for financial reasons, it is a day to celebrate, after all.

I got married for financial and legal reasons. Since we're not religious and we'd already decided to spend our lives and have kids together the marriage was just a formality that would give us certain legal protections and make emigrating simpler. Deciding to spend our lives together was, for us something that happened gradually over many years not on a particular day.

That said I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with having a huge celebration if you will enjoy it. I've heard some lovely speeches and been really moved and had a generally great time at almost all the weddings I've been to - it's just not the kind of thing I'd like to be the focus of myself personally.

Jenijena · 29/07/2018 15:01

My friend got married in jeans and a t shirt at about seven months pregnant. I’ve never seen her wear anything different in the time I’ve known her.

I would have done that but husband wanted something smarter. A normal dress in a sale for £40 did me well...

ElementalHalfLife · 29/07/2018 15:06

I did, purple Harley Davidson t-shirt and Levis. Still have the t-shirt. Just the two of us, courthouse Carson City, Nevada. We just wanted to get married with none of the fuss. Had a big party for friends and family when we got back, I wore the same outfit.
USA, really casual weddings are much more common, back yard, bbq everyone including couple in shorts and t shirts, or swimwear if it's a pool party. Been to a few like that. Been to lots of big white dress ones too where the dress code for guests has been casual, worn jeans and t shirt as a guest as many times as I've worn a silk tea dress and heels.

ProfessorMoody · 29/07/2018 15:09

Yuck, I loathe "traditional" weddings. I can never understand why people want all that tat - tacky white dress, things like favours and first dances and cringey speeches. Awful colour schemes and seating plans and grabby present lists.

No wedding dress for me. We had 8 guests, went for a day out after the registry office ceremony and had a meal in the evening at our favourite restaurant. Not a sugared almond or blue satin garter in sight.

CountessCon · 29/07/2018 15:10

So big weddings get talked about more than small ones and therefore people get the impression that they occur more often

Absolutely. In fact, this thread has made me think that lots of people are possibly still entirely unaware DP and I got married, because we'd been together for a very long time, we only had two witnesses, neither of us use social media, and we didn't tell even close family until months afterwards.

MuddyForestWalks · 29/07/2018 15:18

ProfessorMoody you do realise that's a deeply unpleasant way to talk other real people's real actual weddings? It doesn't reflect well on you. What actual harm does it cause?

endoftether82 · 29/07/2018 15:53

K

QuiteUnfitBit · 29/07/2018 16:03

CountessCon Yes, same with us, as we got married after 24 years together! I mention it if it comes up in conversation eg When someone said "I expect you'll be the next ones to get married." I can't remember whether we ever told family!

Anyway, each to their own... Smile