Getting married in jeans and a t shirt

[Bunnyattack]

I hear this all the time...people saying along the lines of they would be happy to gondown the registry office in jeans and a t shirt....has anyone ever done this or not worn a transitional wedding dress??
Had a very small casual wedding??

I love the idea of it but have never actually come across anyone who has had a proper low key wedding

We did. Loads of people do — I’m surprised you haven’t met any. (Well, I was wearing an ancient green chenille jumper and a pea coat with my jeans, rather than a tshirt, because it was a nippy March.) DH had a suitcase with him, as he’d just flown back from Sweden for work. Two friends as witnesses and we took them for an expensive lunch afterwards. It was romantic and lowkey, but far from unusual in the scheme of things.

I think it's a crazy idea and you would regret it.

Why jeans and a t-shirt anyway? Why not a nice dress (or smart jacket and trousers for the men.) You can easily get a nice wedding outfit for less than £100. Less than £50 in some places.

Lots of couples I know - upper middle class, professional, quite wealthy/very solvent, are all going with the least expense they can possibly come out with for their wedding.

One young woman I know got her sister to grow sunflowers, her friend to take the photos, her dress from a quirky online company for £100, and had a carvery at the pub for a fiver each for their 30 guests.

Many of these couples now do the lot (excluding the honeymoon and rings,) for less than £700.

This isn't a 'race for bottom' type scenario; it's just that you don't NEED to spend £20-30K anymore, and quite frankly, unless you are a celebrity, spending that much smacks of desperation to impress, low self esteem, and insecurity. What are you trying to prove?

A friend of mine got married in the casual dress that she'd made for her first date with the groom (who wore jeans, shirt, and jacket).

They had a potluck, and didn't even let their guests know they were attending a wedding until they'd all arrived and an announcement was made that they were in fact getting married!

I think it's a crazy idea and you would regret it

Well, let's see. No, and no.

@Tara336 - why not consider Gibraltar?

I got married in a standard summer dress that I found hanging on a Monsoon sale rack. I don’t know anything about shoes so I didn’t wear any.

Our entire wedding cost £13.50. That was the price of the licence!
Just us in our ordinary clothes (me in an old black dress from a chain store, DH in his work suit), two witnesses and a registrar.
I went back to work the next morning for a 72 hour shift as a junior doctor.

muddyforestwalks why is it patronising to have a different opinion to you?

I wore a red dress. We had a handful of people there. Home straight after as England were playing Wales that day and we didn't want to miss the game. Out for dinner later.

I got married on a Monday morning in winter in a green dress from a high street shop, dh in a suit he already owned. Both sets of parents were our only guests. Pub lunch after. It was lovely and really suited us.

I do love big weddings, but only as a guest. I’d love to actually be a wedding planner. But that big celebration just wasn’t for me. No hen party/baby shower/birthday celebrations for me either.

We did it last week - my dress was nice but very cheap, OH was in jeans, shirt and grabbed last minute a waistcoat out of the wardrobe, our girls had dresses I made for virtually nothing and we had 2 mumsnetters for witnesses! Then we went for lunch and caught the bus home!
(Hello if the mumsnetters recognise me!!!)

I’m getting married next year and want it as relaxed as possible. I’m wearing a nice dress just not a wedding one. Then I plan to go out in Liverpool for my favourite cocktails 😂

£13.50? How long ago was that? There has been some serious marriage paperwork inflation going on!

I'm doing it in a couple of weeks while we're away at a festival. I've got a £175 dress which is expensive for me, got my son and fiancé a suit each and that's it. I will be appealing for Mumsnetter witnesses nearer the time.

JustlikeDevon it isn't having a different taste in weddings that is patronising. In fact I have witnessed some very meaningful and lovely tiny weddings. If a poster says we didn't want a fuss or to spend the money, that's a world away from saying 'we cared about the marriage not the ceremony'. In the latter there is a very very strong implication that someone who cares about the ceremony (dress, flowers, music etc) cannot care about the marriage and that is patronising and somewhat offensive.

Of course I am sure some people don't mean it that way but there is a prevailing attitude on MN that a big expensive wedding is only for people (brides) who fancy a princess day and nice photos and would trail any old man up the aisle to achieve it, giving no shits about the marriage that follows.

lindalee3 has kind of made my point for me: you don't NEED to spend £20-30K anymore, and quite frankly, unless you are a celebrity, spending that much smacks of desperation to impress, low self esteem, and insecurity. What are you trying to prove? What a knobby thing to say.

I may get married in jeans but I'd probably buy a nice new pair. Maybe even liz Hurley white!
I never wear dresses so not sure why I'd want to spend ages trying to find a nice cheap one for a low key wedding. Would be more stress than the actual getting married!

I have attended wonderful low key weddings no faff no stupid first dance

1st, reg office and then riverside restaurant and on to pub that was booked. No fussy menus,or seating plan, or bridesmaids,or rotten dj. Kids mingling with parents

2nd work colleagues - reg office, and back to their place for garden buffet. Relaxed, spontaneous, kids mingling with guests

Mum,bluedog what a great wedding,and a chippy tea. Sounds divine
I like a white pudding supper with curry sauce

Gah, I meant mmm,not mum. That’d be too weird

I didn't wear a wedding dress, I had a very small wedding and I wore an outfit that I would wear again (and I have) a big white dress is not my style but my outfit was. I never wanted a wedding, just to be married.

I did! Happily married more than 30 years on! We had no money, no Bank of Mum and Dad, so we booked a registry office and got two witnesses. We both wore something we had already. Then we went for a long walk and had a take away! Bliss

Love reading these. DP and I aren't married, been together for 22 years and just never got round to it. Definitely wouldn't want a big fuss if we did, just very close family and a casual pub lunch. I'd want a special dress though but definitely not a wedding dress. DP would probably wear a suit he already owns.

My friend wore a denim skirt, converse and a tshirt.

I just wore a dress from asos. Not a formal dress. Just a day dress. It was black. Everyone said our wedding was what they wished they had done!

All this 'it's about the marriage for me, not the ceremony' stuff that people come out with is patronising in the extreme. Getting married was, for me, a once in a lifetime huge event and it doesn't seem disproportionate to make a bit of a fuss and have my family and friends there to celebrate.

Almost as patronising as the assumption that your way is the right way....