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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Not Make An Effort on DP and DSC holiday return

683 replies

IceColdCiderPlease · 27/07/2018 22:18

My partner of 3 years is taking his 2 children on holiday next week for 2 weeks.
The children stay with us EOW and during the holidays.
I’m not invited. It has never been discussed he just booked it.
They all arrive back on a Thursday evening and the DCs (15 & 17) will be here until the Monday.
The expectation is that I will have food shopped, made beds etc for their return.
AIBU to just leave it & let them order take away ?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
CanuckBC · 09/08/2018 19:27

Your so called partner is an epic asshole. No thought for others but himself. He couldn’t spare 5 minutes of his selfish “vacation” to talk with his upset partner🤬. Yet he sends you loads of pics of him having a grand old time without you. On the vacation he didn’t discuss with you, nor invite you and keeps saying you are ruining or giving him shitty nights because you so t make the beds or lasagna when you get back? Are you his slave/maid or his love?

I personally would really be questioning any relationship I was in with these kind of reactions. I also just read that in a previous thread that your son didn’t like him. Your son probably saw him for who he was way before you did. I am sorry to say, it’s really easy to get into a shit relationship right after a really long one as it may be better then the prior, but it doesn’t want mean it’s good🙁

Have a think on it and go home and get space, move out and start again. Be on your own for at least a year. I no nothing about the freedom program but it sounds like a good idea. When I separated I went to counseling and did all sorts of fun things just by myself to learn how to be me again. The me who wasn’t bossed around or questioning everything. It was so foreign to create myself again and to just be.

YearOfYouRemember · 09/08/2018 19:55

Why has it got anything to do with your STBE what your son does? When was this decided indeed. Doesn't like the thought of being out of the loop does he…

imnotreally · 09/08/2018 20:23

Abusive to spouse doesn't necessarily mean abusive to kids.

FiestaThenSiesta · 09/08/2018 20:36

“Abusive to spouse doesn't necessarily mean abusive to kids.”

Yeah, that’s why social services don’t mind when you allow a guy who abused you unsupervised access to your children. Not.

imnotreally · 09/08/2018 21:29

Ha. Yes they do. Speaking as someone who's x abused her and kids and yet court is quite happy for him to see them unsupervised. Hmph. Different rant.

Social services only really become involved if there's abuse to children so that's kind of a moot point?

Cakeorchocolate · 09/08/2018 21:47

Wow your dp is a nob! So many times over from your thread. (I won't rehash a whole list!)

But the fact this huge thing of your ds moving so far away and he can't even spare a few mins to comfort you is awful.

Pleased you took yourself on a hol and are enjoying it. I hope you can look on the brightside and think of the visits to see your son to look forward to.

LTB DP!!

bluebeck · 10/08/2018 12:47

He is beyond awful.

I would tell him to pack his bags and be gone before you get back. Freeloading, cocklodging arsewipe.

timeisnotaline · 10/08/2018 13:17

Have a lovely night or two at your friends as a holiday wind down op :)

LaContessaDiPlump · 10/08/2018 14:41

Are you going home today, OP? I know you're due to fly home but please don't go straight back to your house - stay away a while.

ChipmunksAreMissing · 10/08/2018 22:42

You ok op?

Groovee · 11/08/2018 08:25

Hope you are ok OP x

PitchBlackNight · 11/08/2018 09:02

What an awful man

wizzler · 11/08/2018 09:48

Hoping you are sat in a leafy garden, sipping coffee with your friend ( while your Dh tries to scrub burnt lasagne off the crockery at your house)

SoaringSwallow · 11/08/2018 11:50

Been following since the beginning OP. I hope you're not home yet! And your holiday was overall fab!

wictional · 11/08/2018 14:17

Hope the cocktails are still flowing OP

Fillybuster · 11/08/2018 20:08

Op, I’m hoping you’re still at your friends house, working out your next move.

You’ve got all of us rooting for you: you’ve got this 😀

Lunde · 12/08/2018 00:40

How are you doing OP?

Groovee · 12/08/2018 09:53

Hope you are ok OP

CowesTwo · 12/08/2018 10:27

How’s things OP?

Threeminis · 14/08/2018 02:06

Been thinking of you op, you alright?

Pissedoffneigh · 14/08/2018 02:19

Fiesta I know plenty of women who's ex partners have unsupervised access to the kids despite abuse towards the Mothers. It sadly is a regular thing!

Birdshitbridgegotme · 14/08/2018 02:52

I just wanted to.say what a lovely person u sound. Your partner is awful and doesn't know what he has. U are so much better than to be treated like this...sorry to hear about your son although as you said its a great opportunity.
...

One last thing...have my first ever LTB.
FlowersFlowers

Lofari · 14/08/2018 03:37

Pic of you eating lasagna sent to the twat with the caption 'its fucking delicious '

FollowYourOwnNorthStar · 14/08/2018 03:40

OP I so hope you fi usher the holiday as well as you started and didn’t go straight home (or home at all until the kids left!)

FollowYourOwnNorthStar · 14/08/2018 03:41

*finished, not fi usher !!

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