To Not Make An Effort on DP and DSC holiday return

[IceColdCiderPlease]

My partner of 3 years is taking his 2 children on holiday next week for 2 weeks.
The children stay with us EOW and during the holidays.
I’m not invited. It has never been discussed he just booked it.
They all arrive back on a Thursday evening and the DCs (15 & 17) will be here until the Monday.
The expectation is that I will have food shopped, made beds etc for their return.
AIBU to just leave it & let them order take away ?

There is no cloth in the world big enough for his brass neck. The entitlement you're dealing with, I'd be fuming!

I hope that his infantile behaviour isn't impacting your holiday too much and you are able to enjoy it. I like how he's blaming you for his shitty holiday, what was it Elenor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" you aren't responsible for how he feels that's all him. Imagine if we could all be held responsible for making a person feel a certain way, what happened to self responsibility?

Bollocks to him he's a man child and you deserve so much more for yourself. If you put up with 27 years of crap don't allow it to follow on with this arse ache.

I hope you're enjoying a lot of cocktails!

Another night of holiday ends badly.. from someone who didn't invite you their DP on holiday and has left you (as far as they knew) to sit alone at home?

Are you supposed to be racked with sympathy?

@QueenOfIce Sorry, I know what you're trying to say, but that quote is as practical and valid as sticks and stones. People can and do hurt others (I'm not suggesting OP is responsible for her partner's holiday), if it was as easy as that, hurt, pain, sadness, depression etc wouldn't exist.

Text him saying ‘lasagne would be nice. The bbc website has lasagne recipes you can use’

He doesn’t respect you at all does he? I’m so glad that you’ve stood up to him. I hope you can still do so when you are back from your holiday.

I laughed out loud when I read
"Okay
Fuck Off"

I can't believe he had the cheek to ask for a home cooked meal on Saturday.

He seems quite happy to ignore your wants and needs and only give you enough crumbs of time and affection to keep you.

*Ok

He should be cooking you a lasagne.

Bet they have a pile festering men/teenage boy socks and pants for you to launder for your return on Saturday. I would come back on the Sunday

I'd have another week somewhere else!

Well done op. I hope that you continue to stand up to him when you get back. Please keep posting.

You should namechange to HolidayHero, just to remind yourself NOT to put up with this bullshit any longer.

Ordering a home cooked lasagne on his return from a holiday you weren't invited on??!!

The worm has turned!

You're amazing op! Please have another few days away though or even a week if you can. He clearly views you as an unpaid skivvy. I really hope that you dump his sorry ass when you get back.

I think ordering the lasagne is just a way to make sure that he is still pulling OP’s strings.. I hope you are still thoroughly enjoying your holiday Icecold

His own children were nice enough to miss you, be concerned about you, and ask where you were. They've not learned that from him, I guess, so all signs point to him viewing their DM as his previous skivvy who, quite rightly, had enough.
I wonder if, as mentioned by a PP, they will want to keep in touch with you when their DF has been given his marching orders?

furz, I'm busy laughing at HolidayHero

:)

Wow. He’s a really unpleasant person isn’t he?
You’ve had 25 years of this shit as you mentioned before. Don’t get trapped into another 25 years. Life is way too short to put up with this sort of shit.
Go home when you want and make plans to ditch this useless waste of air.
Enjoy your holiday, don’t get drawn into any more of his mood hoovering. He’s chosen the type of holiday he wanted, he’s having it. He has no right to ruin whatever you have chosen to do while he’s away.
I’d also steer clear of engaging in the step children’s conversations about why you weren’t there. This is not their fault. You didn’t know anything about it is all they need to know, and that once you heard they were going away you thought you’d book yourself a treat too.
Enjoy your very well deserved holiday and look forward to your future

RTWT. Wow.

May I humbly proffer my first ever LTB, please?

Send him/ the dc the link to the lasagna and leave it to them to sort it from now on

Fuck them all pulling things out of it when you’ve spent hours making it

Ungrateful buggers!!

It's his combination of whining self-pity and astonishing grabbiness that marks out the true narc. Ugh. Don't go back yet OP. When you do, look for somewhere to live, and then move out in your own time. How old are your DC?

I am amazed that you have put up with him for 3 years. Seriously, your life will be so much better without him.

You only have one life. Do you really want to spend the rest of it being treated like his skivvy? He won't change.

If the kids want from scratch lasagne then yeah, I'd email them the recipe and P and the kids can make it together, taking time out to hang out their loads of washing etc, while your holiday continues

What teenagers say that they want lasange made from scratch? Surely teenagers wouldn't be so specific?

what a bell end