parteesss
I completely understand where you are coming from, but in the Ops defence , I also think she is not in the position to manage other people.
If her DH wanted his children to have very tight relationship with his mother then he is the one that needs to manage it and learn how to assert her when she is being given an inch.
The OP shouldn’t have to think about different ways to teach her mil how to behave respectfully. The Op isn’t obliged to be top toeing around grandmother.
It is sad on mil... but that’s why she should’ve realised that manipulating her kids into submission will only backfire.. good parents accept a conversation where each party expresses their needs without being guilt tripped. She should care about what works for her son and his family.
She should be ok with the fact that her son has a preference of his child not being kissed on the lips. She should be ok with a mother who doesn’t feel ready being seperated from her child
The fact she is so dismissive ... says a lot about her.
It is also sad on OP as I am sure she would’ve preferred to have a mother in law who can be tight grandmas with her dc without having to make her feel at risk.
So emotions aside, why should it be OPs responsibility to manage MIL?
If anything, OP is the new mother, her MIL should “manage” OPs ups and downs now. So I would give OP all the slack she needs to grow her bond as a new mother.
I can’t help but sense a huge amount of bias