to think she's trying to steal my child

[Herringb0ne]

Hiya. Single mum to DS7 here. Have been a single mum from pretty much birth.

Dad has a new partner who he has been with for a number of years. I have gone out of my way to be friendly and inclusive, we have group facebook chat for arrangements, I get her birthday and Christmas presents, etc. In return I am treated like an inconvenience.

They now have a child together, DS7s half sibling.

She has on her Instagram profile that she is a 'Happy mother of two boys!!!' and so help me god I have not been able to rest about it. She is NOT MY SONS MOTHER. But nobody else thinks this is weird. I tried to raise it with Dad and he shrugged it off and said I was being sensitive.

DS7 later told me that she has told him to call her Mummy as it is apparently 'confusing' to his half-sibling (who is not old enough to talk......) if he calls her by name. I am incensed.

AIBU? He's MY SON.

I'm not mad to think this is bonkers, am I?

Dad seemed to think it was fine.

Utterly. Utterly. Bonkers.

Dad has weird boundaries.

I'm getting knots in my stomach reading your updates, so I can't imagine how you're feeling all the time.

Like watching someone steal your child away from you in slow motion.

I'm glad you say his dad is a decent bloke but he clearly needs to give his head a wobble if he's enabling this to avoid a meltdown. Hopefully he will see sense if it's explained to him how it's making DS feel.

I have RTFT, what is she 'grooming' them for? Not sure that is appropriate language.

I haven't read the whole post, but it's occurred to me that if your ds calls her Mum, surely that should be reciprocated and her ds should call you Mum too?
I think that might put a stop to it?

How was she able to register him - does your ex have his birth cert? You need that here to register. I had to show red books too, don’t know if that’s usual.

If she is your DS's dads partner, legally she is just a single woman who has a baby with the same man as you have. She has no rights over your DS whatsoever. Stop playing nice.

This^^. I think the word "partner" confers a status that implies something legal/formal. Actually, it means nothing.

She's your ex's current girlfriend.
Put her in her place

Eh, doctors?

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKITY FUCK

she 'moved' him to her doctors a year or so ago. 'Easier for all the family' etc etc.

Fucking bloody hell, she’s a psycho! Please follow the very sensible advice on here about keeping him safe from her incredibly cf moves.

I would go ape shit. You have the patience of a saint! Jesse weptshes unhunged.

Unhinged, sorry

Walking she's left the lad feeling responsible for her emotional wellbeing. He's told his mum he feels guilty when he has to leave her. Perhaps grooming isn't the right word, 'adultification' may be more apt, which is abusive.

I can't even explain the anger this post has made me feel for you! I'm sitting here completely

Stop playing nice.
State and claim your ground, firmly.
Speak out.
This woman is so far out of order.
Your boy is your priority.
Protect him.

Ask your Ex if he's going to be happy if you remarry and tell your son, his son, to call your new husband 'daddy'. Because that's what he's advocating for here actively.

Walkingdead she is emotionally manipulating the ds, shes making him anxious and upset. Its abusive.

Being softly softly hasn't really helped.
Send him an email, lay it out what's happened and that's it's unacceptable. It doesn't matter how dad feels about it, it's your feelings that matter as his Mum. Put it back to him about how he'd feel if some man was acting like this and overstepping the step parent line.

So she insisted on being called mum.
Instead of calling Op mum used a nickname.
Put the ds as her child at swimming
Emotionally manipulates him
Changed his doctors.

Yeah nothing wrong here walkingdead at all.

'Grooming' is entirely appropriate language.

Also we have a birth cert each. I have original. Dad has a copy. I have the red book. He's been at my docs since.

She did try to bump me off the contact list at school too, a year or so ago. I went APE. Luckily school weren't having it. I guess they see it all.

When do I drop in the:

I bleached my hair.
She bleached her hair.

I dyed it lilac.
She dyed it lilac.

I took on a whole bold new makeup look (very specific)
She instagrams an identical one days later.

I mean, she would make a FAB horror movie.

Keep a diary. Make sure you have the doctors situation noted and swimming. Also, speak to a solicitor get an outsiders perspective. She isn’t being rational at all.

How could anyone think it’s ok for a step parent to change the drs. I would also speak to the drs as she doesn’t even have PR.
Is sons dad on birth certificate? If it isn’t he doesn’t have automatic PR either. Speak to your schools family support worker. They will note any concerns you have. If you are the only parent with PR you can stop her from having any info from school. However, if Dad has pr too he can override this.

The school can offer you support too. Please make sure your concerns are heard by school at least. As they can keep an eye out for anything concerning.
And he most likely to make comments at school about step mum etc.
Regards x

She did try to bump me off the contact list at school too, a year or so ago. I went APE. Luckily school weren't having it. I guess they see it all.

Omg!! This just gets worse! She’s seriously loopy! So contact NSPCC for advice. Speak to school about her and ensure she’s not on the contact list and that you’re primary contact.

Everything you say makes her sound ever more mental. It seems that she wants to erase you from his life. Well tough shit, sugar, you’re his mum and going fucking nowhere! Protect him and yourself!