to think she's trying to steal my child

[Herringb0ne]

Hiya. Single mum to DS7 here. Have been a single mum from pretty much birth.

Dad has a new partner who he has been with for a number of years. I have gone out of my way to be friendly and inclusive, we have group facebook chat for arrangements, I get her birthday and Christmas presents, etc. In return I am treated like an inconvenience.

They now have a child together, DS7s half sibling.

She has on her Instagram profile that she is a 'Happy mother of two boys!!!' and so help me god I have not been able to rest about it. She is NOT MY SONS MOTHER. But nobody else thinks this is weird. I tried to raise it with Dad and he shrugged it off and said I was being sensitive.

DS7 later told me that she has told him to call her Mummy as it is apparently 'confusing' to his half-sibling (who is not old enough to talk......) if he calls her by name. I am incensed.

AIBU? He's MY SON.

This woman need some help if I'm being charitable

YANBU. My partner has an 11yo son and I would never refer to myself in any way as his mother - it would be completely disrespectful to his actual mum. Nor would I ever ask or expect him to call me anyhing other than my name.

OMG - I would go postal! It is good for your son that his Dad has a partner who treats him like her own, but YOU are his mother, NOT HER! How dare she tell him to call her that! It would be different if he came up with it on his own. That would still irk me, but definitely not infuriate me like this would! Stamp that out, girlfriend!

Ummmm! So I read the update after I posted that! What the actual FUCK! Your ex is a gutless POS for allowing her to act like this and make excuses for her! OMG OMG! I am fuming for you!

I always said go give that to your mum when speaking to my younger half sibling. I never called her mum, only by her given name when speaking to her or about her. It is important i think for younger ones to know the differences otherwise it confuses them even more when your child goes back to their mum and hers stays put.
So, equally confusing and untrue. Set the boundaries now. Your child refers to her by a name that makes him comfy and their child will soon learn the difference.
You are not being sensitive, you are expressing your concerns and your wishes. Don't turn it into a bunfight but make it clear that your son will call her x as he already has a mum. No different to using various terms for grandparents in my view (gran, grandma, nanny, granny etc).

As to stepping over the line with doctors and swimming that is just wrong. You and his dad make the decisions 're pr things and you NEVER want to hear of any actions like that again.
You did not upset her, she upset herself by acting inappropriately.
You ex needs to wide up and realise that you will not be pussyfooting around her behaviour. As to the weird dependency she has on him, tell your ex that it is very worrying behaviour and it is disturbing and upsetting him so it needs to be reined in right now.

I may have missed it OP, but what does your son actually call he now?

I would make a real point of always using her name when you speak about her, and also engineer a few conversations that make your DS use her given name. The more he says it out loud, the more she becomes that person in his head - and definitely not Mum!
So;

• "Who took you to school yesterday?"

-" How was swimming - did Daddy take you, or was it Jane?" etc.

And if you do manage to get the Swimming Registration and/or Doctors forms, and she is recorded as "Mother" I would be showing them to your spineless ex ASAP, and just ask him;
a) Does he think that's normal, and legal?
b) What is HE going to do about it?

Jamie I've just asked DD what she says, she said she says, "Go and give that to [DH name]."

Any update Op?

What's happened ???

Xxx

I have a stepson and son. If I post pictures of them both I refer to them as "my boys" but never "my sons" nor would I say "mother of" . If it was just DS I would say my son.

She has at least said "boys".

I have always just been Reservoir

On holiday sometimes DSS refers to us when talking to people we have met as my mum and dad because its easier for him rather than explaining family dynamics!

Just read the thread and omg what a psycho ! What's happened since ? What did you do? 😬😬😬

How's things @Herringb0ne?