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Original poster

4per cent of new dads have post natal depression

336 replies

longwayoff · 24/07/2018 09:55

Says LBC quoting a Stanford University study. Expert currently pointing out that as pnd is female hormone related, its unlikely to be pnd. What does mumsnet think? Personally I have a cynical eyebrow raised.

OP posts:
Redbriefcase · 24/07/2018 23:05

All I was trying to say, I don't want to upset you as I feel you are struggling right now, is there is a difference between post natal depression and depression. That's all. I feel PND is very different from depression. Yes both men and women get depressed, yes men are less able to communicate their feelings because of socialisation which is awful. I hope you are ok.
And I'm not against you

minifingerz · 24/07/2018 23:06

If you are a parent experiencing depression caused by life changes in the year following the birth of your child, then you’ve got PND.

Dads can have PND.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 24/07/2018 23:09

Thank you again, @M3lon. Unmumsnetty hugs right back! I'm actually going to turn my phone off now... I need to sleep!

Redbriefcase · 24/07/2018 23:16

Dad's can't have PND at all. Unless there are loads of men who have had unprotected sex around the world suddenly sinking into a mystery depression 9 months after a one night stand has given birth. Doesn't happen. Male and female biology is different. PND like everything else is a mix of biology and environment. Sleep well and I hope you are ok

ilovegin112 · 24/07/2018 23:34

I wonder if people were as pedantic about names when men were diagnosed with breast cancer or should we be changing the name of that as well as its predominantly a women’s cancer

rainbowsandsmiles · 24/07/2018 23:41

Quibbling over the name is just being pedantic. You can’t sit there and say “oh that’s just for us because we’re female”. It’s hard enough as it is with the stigma attached to mental health issues without people trying to pick fights where there aren’t any.

This, I really can't get worked up about the name and just want everyone to feel like they can ask for help if they need it.

Redbriefcase · 24/07/2018 23:45

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rainbowsandsmiles · 24/07/2018 23:51

you are telling me I’ve also to worry my husband might become depressed and want to kill himself so I need to also be aware of his mental health as well as my own ? NOPE

Jaw actually did a Shock then Sad Sad
Obviously awful that you went through what you did,but why would you not want to be aware of his mental health too? I know I'd want to know if my DH was struggling.
It's not a competition Sad

Redbriefcase · 24/07/2018 23:56

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HolyPieter · 24/07/2018 23:57

Bollocks.

I am fucking sick and tired of males stealing female-only terms.

Redbriefcase · 25/07/2018 00:12

@HolyPieter amen (not even religious) but thanks for the logic. You get to the point where you can see through the bullshit, it's becoming comical, even though it's not funny. Men and women are different biologically. The only reason it's being pushed that we have no difference is that dodgy men in power want their control back! I will say again most men are decent, research who are trying to change the laws that effect women and CHILDRENS rights, it's not pretty not by a long shot

rainbowsandsmiles · 25/07/2018 00:12

Dad what made you self harm if you dont mind me asking. I am prejudiced here and trying to challenge my views as they are wrong. Because I would have had no sympathy for my partner even having found this, just sighed and wondered why i had another child to look after, why would he not take responsibility etc.

Oh my fucking God. I'm sorry, but WTF? Thankfully I've never felt the need to self harm, but a friend did when we were younger (female)
Suffered from mental health issues. Why would you sigh and think "what a child" and why would you insinuate that to someone on the internet who has just opened up about their experiences?
There's some sick fucking views and astounding ignorance out there.
A bit of compassion for goodness sake. Just be thankful you're able to be so ignorant due to being lucky enough not to suffer, as mental health is no eye rolling or laughing matter.

Redbriefcase · 25/07/2018 00:22

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rainbowsandsmiles · 25/07/2018 00:23

I see you both

If one of those boths is a oh so hilarious not so hidden snipe at me must be being a bloke for having a differing opinion, I don't care.
Get MN HQ to check me out, I've been round here long enough as a regular poster and am most definitely female.

Yup. Still female.

rainbowsandsmiles · 25/07/2018 00:27

@rainbowsandsmiles you chose that username as you think women are all about rainbows and smiles/slumber parties and kittens? Pink? Being sexually attractive and a bit dim? Us women are all about being pretty and sexualised right? Fuck off. I see you

Confused

OK, as suspected, was to me, you obviously have real issues. What are you actually even on about?! It's an abbreviated quote from one of my favourite films.
I've been on here years as a regular poster. No,I don't think women are all kittens and slumber parties and pink. Confused Hmm
This woman doesn't like kittens, likes rock and soft metal music and thinks girlie slumber parties are boring, especially if they come with stupid doing up their nails and make up activities as I can't be arsed with either.

Redbriefcase · 25/07/2018 00:30

I wish you happiness that does not result in the misery of others, sleep well :$

Jamiem80 · 25/07/2018 00:33

I've not read the whole thread however post natal literally means after birth I dont see why this should be for mothers only. Maybe it should be the other way around that post natal depression is not an adequate description for what wonen go through.

FrustratedTeddyLamp · 25/07/2018 00:42

Some are saying PND is depression caused by a hormone imbalance after birth but AFAIK there are no tests done to test this when you go to the GP, ive seen it suggested on here a woman struggling 12+ months after the birth is struggling with PND. If there are no tests done how do we know this is PND due to a hormone imbalance or a similar type to what men suffer after a new baby? Seems like an unnecessary distinction

Redbriefcase · 25/07/2018 00:53

IT should be for mothers only as only mothers go through birth, pregnancy and what comes after. What comes after is not only biological but social. "Why are you going back to work? Can he not get a job?" Ffs can't state the obvious much more. Men and women are not the same as McNair as "rainbows" or whatever are trying to condition people otherwise. Men and women are biologically different. PND effect females, men have penises women don't. This won't change, yea there's intersex (teeny weeny minority who have publicly said they are not trans!)? Seriously as a female who has had every shit female experience happen, yeah all the shit ones. We are not male and males have not got a fucking clue what the responsibilities of being born a natural female are. The law is about to change saying men can self declare as being female, as us. THIS does affect us massively! Ian Huntley is trying to self declare as a women to be put in a female prison if this disgusting law is passed. Men, no matter how much hey have been bullied, or abused or want to be women are not female, they don't have periods or a lack of physical strength, they are not us!

rainbowsandsmiles · 25/07/2018 00:58

Men and women are not the same as McNair as "rainbows" or whatever are trying to condition people otherwise

I'm not trying to condition anyone anything. Confused Assuming "rainbows whatever" is to me? (if so one look at my name would see what it was before typing, unless it's supposed to be a put down)
Just saying both men and women can suffer mentally after the birth of a child, and I really can't get worked up about what it is or isn't called.
Everyone should be able to get help if they need it.

Redbriefcase · 25/07/2018 01:12

Haha that was a typo obvs. I don't care though. You can try and make women feel bad all you like about how shitty men feel, I have four sons who I adore. They know they are physically stronger than women, they know how miserable women were throughout history, they are good men. Or will be. They know if you are born with a penis you are male, bla bla bla, ffs in line with the op MEN do not get post natal depression, nice try

rainbowsandsmiles · 25/07/2018 01:21

You can try and make women feel bad all you like about how shitty men feel, I have four sons who I adore. They know they are physically stronger than women, they know how miserable women were throughout history

I don't want to make women feel bad, I know first hand how it feels birthing children and all the hormones and feeling down.
What has men being physically stronger than women got to do with mental health though?
Everyone can need help mentally. If my DH did after the birth of ours, I can't imagine being "NOPE, that's mine" or "you're being a child"mindset both put out earlier in the thread. I'd want him to get help and not care about what label it did or didn't have.

Redbriefcase · 25/07/2018 01:24

I didn't say both men and women need help with mental health problems,they do, just that post natal depression does not effect men

Redbriefcase · 25/07/2018 01:26

If you genuinely gave birth, describe to me what happened?

Redbriefcase · 25/07/2018 01:27

In detail, don't be shy, this is mumsnet after all