Meal out with OW and mutual friend

[Wellthisunexpected]

WWYD?

A friend (A) who lives abroad is in the UK for a few days and is in my city for a night. He has organised a meal out to catch up with as many friends as possible on that day. I have been invited.

Also invited is my ex-best friend (B), who had an emotional affair (which would have turned physical had I not found out when I did) with my DH whilst I was in the grip of PND and PTSD. She is attending (with her husband) my DH will be remaining at home to look after DS (he does not know A as well as me). Due to the short notice and venue only about 7 people are going, including B, her husband and A.

I want to see A, and won’t have another opportunity, possibly for more than 12 months. But the thought of sitting at a table with B all night and being forced to make polite conversation fills me with dread. Due to having mutual friends I have seen a couple of times since (the incident came to ahead about 18months ago) but have been able to just avoid her and not speak to her at all (I just blank her), but in such an intimate setting I won’t be able to do that without making things very uncomfortable for A.

A is aware we are not talking but does not know why.

WWYD? Go and make nice for a chance to see A, or make excuses?

I have no advice but I just wanted to say to those complaining that OP hasn't left her DH, she has made the choice to forgive him, however hard and impossible that may have seemed at the time. She has taken steps, as has he, and recommitted to the relationship. No one should question this as it is, quite frankly, no one's business and OP has not asked if we agree with her decision.

I just wanted to say sorry for minimising earlier. They both sound hideous. Id go-and out her to all of them
Utter bitch

Yeah I wouldn't go.

I wouldn’t go personally. I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who is aware of her behaviour and enables it. Whether or not they know what was done to you specifically, I hate it when people shrug off bad behaviour with “oh, that’s just the way they are”. Well done for working things through with your DH. Yes, they are both to blame, but he is trying to make amends, she isn’t!

I just wanted to say that I am in awe of how strong and dignified you seem to be in dealing with this. I am in a similar situation, within a similar timeframe and I'm still all over the place and really struggling to move on from it. I can relate to your need to want to fix it all (you haven't said this but it's the feeling I'm getting from your posts).

In this situation, if it were me, I wouldn't go. The very fact that you're questioning whether you ought to means you shouldn't. You will not have a good time and you will mostly likely come home feeling like the wound has been reopened. Why let her harm your mental health further when you've clearly worked so hard to get to where you are? I'd just let A know that you aren't able to spend time in B's company, but that A is important to you and you'd really like to meet for a quick drink or something if he can possibly squeeze you in. I also think your DH and B were definitely having a physical relationship already.

Hey OP, so what did you decided on the end?

If it’s too awkward I wouldn’t go. I couldn’t be bothered trying to avoid conversation etc.