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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends sending their DS to school in a pinafore.

583 replies

RelentlessSylvia · 22/07/2018 09:04

Friends (I'm pals with both halves of the couple) have a DS, 4.

He's starting primary after the summer and they've bought him pinafores rather than shorts or trousers. They've always bought him a range of clothes up to now - dresses, skirts, trousers, shorts, pink, blue and every other colour - and he's picked what he wants to wear every day. He has no concept that garments are gendered and just likes to wear what he likes to wear. I think this is great.

But they haven't bought a range of uniform items, they've bought him pinafores and tights. AIBU to think they are making a statement at the expense of their DS's choice? Shorts and trousers are, for better or worse, much less gendered items than dresses.

He is a lovely boy and a testament to their parenting. Both parents are proudly unorthodox and brilliant, brave people. But AIBU to think they're kinda using their son as a flag to wave to the rest of the school community, rather than giving him the option of being low-key?

Nursery have previously expressed concerns that my friends were forcing their DS to wear dresses. They weren't. He chooses his clothes from a range. It may be that they've said 'which style of uniform do you want?' and he's made a choice but sadly there is a huge context to gender and clothing that he isn't aware of, so it isn't a genuine choice?

AIB horrible and judgemental? I love that this kid can be who he wants to be. I just worry that he's going to become an object of ridicule and derision on his first day.

OP posts:
starfish2020 · 25/07/2018 22:29

@PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks

starfish but does your child know whether they're a boy or a girl? confused

Yes DC knows exactly who they are Wink

nellieellie · 25/07/2018 22:33

As at least you be poster has asked. Does the father wear dresses and skirts to work? All power to him if he does. There is no reason why clothes have to be defined according to sex. But don’t make your 4 year old blaze a trail when they have absolutely no idea of the conventions. Surest way to get your child ridiculed, teased and bullied.

starfish2020 · 25/07/2018 22:40

But there is no father in the picture
Two mums, so that might explain the preference to lady wear?!
Who knows?!

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 25/07/2018 22:49

That's okay then starfish.

ronnymay43 · 21/10/2018 00:50

If the boy wants to do it its his choice

homebirds · 21/10/2018 01:02

I hope they changed their minds - poor boy

tiredgirly · 21/10/2018 01:44

Do the parents have a daughter? As rounds Like a case of gender disappointment to me?
If they are buying him pinafores, I hop they are also buying him karate or boxing lessons. He is going to need them!

indigoprincess · 21/10/2018 02:28

but they haven't bought him a range of uniform items Apologies, I haven't read the full thread, but I take this to mean they are not buying him any clothes on the school uniform list? That could be a problem, as he wil stand out anyway and could risk being picked on or teachers judging him (wrongly) as odd or rebellious. It is not easy going through school being different.

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