AIBU to think it shouldn’t cost £200 for DD aged 4 to take part in a ballet show?

[Churrolicious]

Genuinely not sure if I’m being unreasonable and want some advice.

DD is 4 and goes to a half hour ballet class one afternoon a week. It’s part of a dance school and the older kids work to exams etc, but she’s basically running around in a tutu waving a wand and learning to curtsey. She loves it and it’s really improved her listening skills / attention span so all good.

But we’ve just been told we need to sign up for the Christmas show, to be held at a local theatre. Four evening performances and one matinee. Every class of the school will do some bits. Younger kids can go home at the interval but it’s a full commitment.

We need to sign a contract to say we’ll do it, and agree to pay an admin fee (£50 per family), agree to paying for costumes (around £30 a costume minimum, depending on how many numbers they’re in), agree to two full weekend dress rehearsals (payable at class hourly rate) and contribution to chaperones. We estimate that it’ll be just shy of £200 and that’s before (presumably) we’ll have to stump up for tickets for said thing too. Once we’ve signed the contract we’re liable for the money whether DD takes part or not. We have to return the contract the first class back in September.

AIBU to think this is lunacy? I never did dancing or anything as a kid, so have no clue, is this standard practice? DD starts school in September and tends to be asleep at 7pm. Evening performances don’t start until 7.30pm even if we could get her there for them!

I don’t want her to feel left out and I worry I’m partly being cheap and partly just don’t get the ballet thing but AIBU to say no thanks? And to seriously be considering that if they’ll be spending all next term rehearsing for this it’s time to move her elsewhere?

Welcome to the life of a dance mum. Wait til she's older and in multiple dances with various costumes and then have a second child who starts

Yes it is outrageous but yes it is fairly typical.

Not not sure if this is any help, but this sort of shit is why we no longer do dance.

It is pretty common that they do a show, and the bloody costs will stack up, though yours sounds unusually excessive even for dance.

Be warned, if you go to the show, unless you are hugely into dance as an art form, it will be monumentally dull.

Hmmm that is on the poor expensive side for her age group! I would look around for a dance school that is more low key with its shows - they do vary in their approach to them.

Mad, but (I'm) you are right that there is little point in the lessons if you're not in the show. If she enjoys it, you can afford it and you both think that the idea of being in a show sounds fantastic, then go for it...with eyes and check book both wide open! If any one of these things are not true, duck out now and find a different dance school or a different hobby!

*in my experience (I'm) not I'm

**I.m.e damn you autocorrect

What a joke. Mine wouldn’t be doing it.

This is why my daughter no longer dances. Utter waste of time and money. She now does karate!

I've heard horror stories from dance families before. This doesn't sound that unusual.

I'd move her, but its probably a term's notice!

Otherwise just say that you're already busy that weekend in December.

Why on earth do they want an admin fee! Costumes I can understand and also extra rehearsal time but a chaperone fee is pushing it (surely parents volunteer) and the admin fee is extortion!

5 shows? Who apart from the parents are going to watch a children’s dance show? Surely it’s just the parents paying for the seats in every show 🤷‍♀️ Sounds completely over the top.

My daughters dance. I think our show last year was £20 for the costumes, £20 for both dress rehearsals and the tickets were £5 each. Parents took it in turns the chaperone at the performance they weren't watching. £200 sounds insanely high.

This is why we don't dance anymore. Well my dd now goes to a local street dance club.

It also made the mystery of how our dance school owner afforded two ££ expensive holidays a year (skiing at Easter and 6 weeks in Italy per summer) and 4 kids in private school less opaque.

Oh and we had to pay 25 per ticket for the show to watch a two hour performance which dd appeared in for less than 40 second. It might be awful but I have 0 interest in watching other children dance!

That's a LOT of money. I now have a fresh insight into why my mum persuaded me to stop dancing lessons all those years ago

I got into ponies instead... nice try though mum 💷🐴

My daughter is 16 and has danced from 3 upwards. She now does 7 different disciplines so can be in at least 7 different costumes per show, but usually only a couple are at the 20-30 mark, the rest are borrowed, adapted, bought in the sale from primark, leggings and a T-shirt with various accessories.... Only other charge is tickets to go see it, dress rehearsal etc are at no cost at all.

I would look for a more low key dance school personally!

sadly, its about average cost. My DS no longer dances but usually his Christmas production cost about £150 and he had a plain costume.

That sounds OTT, would find a smaller, more informal school. Doing that many shows at that age on top of stuff at school is too much IMO anyway.

My DDs did ballet up to the age of 18 and I remember how seriously the ballet school insisted their commitment must be to the shows they were in. However I don't remember it costing anything like that. But my info is about 10 years out of date so perhaps it's inflation?

Surely they don't expect every child to be in the show? Will there be no 'ordinary' lessons during this time, which you have ( I assume) already paid for?

When mine were in such a thing the smallest children were only in one dance because basically that's all they can manage and the teachers can manage to corale them into. So just one (expensive) costume and no extra charges for dress rehearsals etc. Also there were 2 classes if the younger children so they alternated classes and it was in the Easter holidays so no school and less going on. There is so much going on at school in Reception class that my children would have been shattered without all that dancing. My elder daughter took a break from ballet when she started school.

I think you say no for your dd's health and your own sanity come December! Also bank balance! If they are pushy then take her out. The dance school we used to go to really pushed my two into it and I wish I had said no, especially for my elder one.

Costumes yes. Admin costs and hourly rate for rehearsals? Fuck that! No way would I pay that.

I dance myself and do the shows, parents and DBS checked adult dancers do the supervision.

Yikes. I think ours was about £50 if that, all except tickets, in a large theatre in a large city.