AIBU to think it shouldn’t cost £200 for DD aged 4 to take part in a ballet show?

[Churrolicious]

Genuinely not sure if I’m being unreasonable and want some advice.

DD is 4 and goes to a half hour ballet class one afternoon a week. It’s part of a dance school and the older kids work to exams etc, but she’s basically running around in a tutu waving a wand and learning to curtsey. She loves it and it’s really improved her listening skills / attention span so all good.

But we’ve just been told we need to sign up for the Christmas show, to be held at a local theatre. Four evening performances and one matinee. Every class of the school will do some bits. Younger kids can go home at the interval but it’s a full commitment.

We need to sign a contract to say we’ll do it, and agree to pay an admin fee (£50 per family), agree to paying for costumes (around £30 a costume minimum, depending on how many numbers they’re in), agree to two full weekend dress rehearsals (payable at class hourly rate) and contribution to chaperones. We estimate that it’ll be just shy of £200 and that’s before (presumably) we’ll have to stump up for tickets for said thing too. Once we’ve signed the contract we’re liable for the money whether DD takes part or not. We have to return the contract the first class back in September.

AIBU to think this is lunacy? I never did dancing or anything as a kid, so have no clue, is this standard practice? DD starts school in September and tends to be asleep at 7pm. Evening performances don’t start until 7.30pm even if we could get her there for them!

I don’t want her to feel left out and I worry I’m partly being cheap and partly just don’t get the ballet thing but AIBU to say no thanks? And to seriously be considering that if they’ll be spending all next term rehearsing for this it’s time to move her elsewhere?

Seems very expensive to me, both my dds go to a dance school and do 2 different disciplines. They have a big show every other year and the only costs are £20 per child per discipline to go towards costumes. The costumes are basic but tarted up with sequins/extra layers etc by a team of volunteer parents. The chaperones are again volunteer parents. The school pay for any checks the chaperones need. The only other costs are tickets which are about £15 and £5.00 per child per day for 2 full days of dress rehearsal. All the profit goes towards a local charity and they normally raise quite a bit. We are about 20 miles from London.

Dance schools vary so much. My dd dances, and takes part in at least 2 shows per year in a variety of disciplines. The cost is astronomical!

On the other hand, she has friends who also dance, maybe just the one style, with one show a year, using borrowed costumes, and the total is nothing like what I pay.

I pay it happily though because she has danced with this school for 8/9 years and is settled, learning and to be fair, their shows are pretty spectacular.

I’d say it depends on how seriously you are going to be taking dance. Are you looking at the future as a dance mum or is this just going to be a half hour hobby for the foreseeable? If you arent looking at this as a massive part of your lives (which serious dance becomes), I’d possibly look at a cheaper school.

Find another dance school? Seems OTT to me. DD's first dance school at least recycled all the costumes year after year, parents did the chaperoning, there were only 2 shows, so much less expensive.

2 shows in the week I mean, rather than 5, and they did exams one year and a show the next year, which spread it out. Exams weren't compulsory.

Is the concert being held in the Albert Hall? At that cost for a 4 year old to take part is unreal. Would definitely look fir another dance school where the concert is a bit less "high performance".

We paid just shy of £300 for my 4 year olds dance show this year. It is a lot but it seems to be the way it is. I know the head of my child's school is making less than minimum wage over show time because of all the extra work so it isn't a money making thing.

Nuts. It doesn’t have to be like that. Find a more relaxed school that focuses on fun for a couple of years. Then if she still loves it and has some talent, move her back. But for a 4 year old this is utterly ridiculous.

Both my dc do ballet and tap and we pay £20 for costumes for their annual show, then the ticket price is £4 each. The show is in the village hall and is packed to the rafters - it’s one of the village highlights of the year, it’s so sweet. The kids and the parents all love it.

I meant to say that’s it; no further expenses. All profits from the sale of tea and cake afterwards (made by volunteers) goes to the local hospice.

Throwaway - Dd never had & never will have new shoes for exams. In fact she thinks it’s very important to wear shoes in before an exam or audition.

We were pretty much asked to leave when I wouldn't sign my DD up for the show. Lucky escape, as it just gets more dictatorial and expensive. She went to hip hop instead - which was much more fun, friendly and laid back.

My dc go to a dance school where they do 2 shows a year, dd also dances in comps. We pay £20 participation fee per child regardless of how many dances/costumes. No extra for costumes and no extra for rehearsals. There is no pressure on My child to take part in shows or exams if they don't want to. It is a recreational rather than career school but they get good results in exams and competitions and it is very inclusive.

Seems pretty steep - I’m in middle of show time here with a 10yo and have paid same for her but that’s 5 classes and tickets and DVD! We are in a biggish town in south east, DD3 does 5 lessons a week which cost around £350-£400 per term at her level (grades 2-3). F
Show cost £50 to include DVD and any extra practice. Costume prices were from £9-£25 per dance. Chaperones are parent CRB checked volunteers. Tickets were £17 each.

I think its OTT- My daughter (also 4) did similar recently and I thought £30 for a costume and £20 on a ticket was bad enough! We didn't have to pay for chaperones or admin costs ( I assume they were in with the ticket price)

My daughters did a show at a theatre with a well known dance company and fees were no where near that!
Paid one full price reversal £5.50 then one dress rehearsal £2.75 (all others free) then £15 to hire the costume. It’s the extras that I think our one makes the money on. Tickets were £20 each, a DVD was £27 and professional stills form the show were between £15-25 each but of course the extras aren’t mandatory. So the cost of just doing the show was £23.25 for us, and considering they were on stage for all of 5 mins I would never pay anywhere near £200. I know it’ll be nearer that figure as she goes up (if she wants to) one of the other parents said her senior girl was near on £300 but she was in a lot of the dances and had a lot of costumes. For your DDs age group, thats way to high imo.

My DDs 1st ballet lessons at 4 we’re at a “serious” ballet school that went through to adult. Basically they were only interested in children who were capable of passing all the exams and that meant if your child had the wrong ankles, hips or back she would get weeded out along the way. It was madness. My DD just wanted to have fun learning to dance and I just wanted her to gain confidence and poise. We moved to a school where the owner loved children and loved teaching them. DD passed the first simple exams and enjoyed the annual show. Frkkom there she moved on to another owner run school where she learnt jazz dancing which she found useful as a teenager. Very little expense bar simple costumes and modgkdestly priced tickets high covered the hire of the hall.
Let those who see their DC progressing to professional dancers go to the serious dance schools. Most little children and their parents don’t aspire too that
Good luck

My first two dc found starting school incredibly tiring and getting them to do anything in the evening was a nightmare. Why don't you give dance a rest for the first couple of terms and then if your DD wants to do it later in the school year start again. Seems like a lot of money for something she might be too tired to enjoy and might become stressful for you all.

My daughter attends an Italia Conti dance school. When they put on shows it doesn’t cost anything like £200. That sounds like a lot of money for a little one of that age.

My DD did ballet in a similar set up from about 5 to 8. The dance school is a big, serious organisation as you say, with everything from little ones to serious teenagers. They do a big bi-annual show in the local civic centre and I don't think we paid anything like that! It's a couple of years since we stopped but I think we paid about £30 plus we had to buy a headpiece and all the stuff needed to put her hair in a bun. And then buy tickets to see the show, obviously. Yours sounds ridiculously expensive!

Our experience with the yearly recital was pretty similar. Very, very average classes and then a hugely expensive and time consuming recital weekend. My daughter didn’t love it and I felt uncomfortable with the blatant cash grab not to mention the overtly sexual nature of some of routines and costumes (Think Moulin Rouge with 5 year olds)! She’s now doing an acrobatics course which combines strength, flexibility and balance. Classes are more expensive it no silly costumes or recitals. Some parents and children love the dance school / mum vibe but it wasn’t my thing.

I remember my shock at DDs first dance show- same scenario, extra classes, rehearsals etc etc. When it came round, I saw the organisation that had gone into it, DDs and classmates’ excitement at being part of something with ‘ the big girls’, tbf, it was worth the money, set her on the road of understanding practice and repetition is a good way to learn anything, and the fact that each year gets slightly more advanced is inspiring for them. Wait til you hear the entire audience go ‘ awwww!’ At the little ones, including your treasure- and try not to cry!

I run my own ballet school and can state categorically that these fees are ridiculous! We charge our students £5 to do the show - and that's to go towards costumes, extra weekend rehearsals etc. The only other thing the parent has to pay for is tickets and they are about £14.00 each. We do a full production of a ballet in a proper theatre so it's not some little thing in a village hall (not that there's anything wrong with that - just saying that it's big show). I know other schools do charge more and we are lucky to have quite a big costume store which has been built up over the years so we adapt costumes and use them again and again. But I see absolutely no need for charging such extortionate fees as the OP's school, other than just to make money. For me it is far more important that all children are able to take part if they want to. I would hate for any child to be excluded because they couldn't afford it. Hope you can find a nicer dance school.

ListsWonderfulLists your school sounds exactly like my daughters.

Costume fees are minimal ( cover costs of cleaning) the owner of the school has been purchasing costumes for years and now has a huge collection of many types of costume that she can re use and adapt for the shows,

• on a practical note how do you keep track? My DD is a senior ( is paid as a part time assistant and admin) and part of her job is keeping on top of the costume cupboard. It is a scary task- with thousands of individual items, props etc it is at times daunting.

Do you keep it on a data base or file? Any advice on organising would be welcome. My DDs dance school has 450 students, and shows twice a year, other events and competitions, and poor DD struggles to keep on top of the organisation.

This sounds as though the dance school are reluctant to dig into their profit and finance the show.Costs ought to be covered by ticket sales; they should not be demanding this amount of extra money.