AIBU to think it shouldn’t cost £200 for DD aged 4 to take part in a ballet show?

[Churrolicious]

Genuinely not sure if I’m being unreasonable and want some advice.

DD is 4 and goes to a half hour ballet class one afternoon a week. It’s part of a dance school and the older kids work to exams etc, but she’s basically running around in a tutu waving a wand and learning to curtsey. She loves it and it’s really improved her listening skills / attention span so all good.

But we’ve just been told we need to sign up for the Christmas show, to be held at a local theatre. Four evening performances and one matinee. Every class of the school will do some bits. Younger kids can go home at the interval but it’s a full commitment.

We need to sign a contract to say we’ll do it, and agree to pay an admin fee (£50 per family), agree to paying for costumes (around £30 a costume minimum, depending on how many numbers they’re in), agree to two full weekend dress rehearsals (payable at class hourly rate) and contribution to chaperones. We estimate that it’ll be just shy of £200 and that’s before (presumably) we’ll have to stump up for tickets for said thing too. Once we’ve signed the contract we’re liable for the money whether DD takes part or not. We have to return the contract the first class back in September.

AIBU to think this is lunacy? I never did dancing or anything as a kid, so have no clue, is this standard practice? DD starts school in September and tends to be asleep at 7pm. Evening performances don’t start until 7.30pm even if we could get her there for them!

I don’t want her to feel left out and I worry I’m partly being cheap and partly just don’t get the ballet thing but AIBU to say no thanks? And to seriously be considering that if they’ll be spending all next term rehearsing for this it’s time to move her elsewhere?

Thanks so much for so many responses so quickly - although now I feel depressed ;)

DH was already minded to say no as the contract explains in some detail the make up which will have to trowelled on (which we'd also have to buy!). The thing for me is DD is, like most four-year-olds I suppose, quite up and down in confidence levels. Some days she'd be up for singing on stage, others she'd rather boil her own head. What if she hates it and we still have to pay for all this stuff - she hasn't even done a nativity yet for us to get a feel for how comfortable she'd be. It just feels wrong, but I'm so worried that my non-ballet bias is part of the problem (I was a theatre kid - and that was all done through school so minimal additional cost!).

Underneath It is indeed a term's notice!

Par for the course unfortunately, although my dd does highland dancing not ballet but it's equally expensive! At 4 I would skip the show personally - you can avoid spending too much until you know if it's a hobby or a passion.
Might be worth looking for a more informal class as others have mentioned - the world of dance is a dark and scary place!

Gotta admit though for ds6 we’ve just spent about sixty quid on exams and exam classes and summer schools and that is a yikes moment.

Cheaper than football though

On the high side, but not atypical I would say.

I also agree that the show will be awful.

Hadalifeonce The lessons would continue regularly in the run up to the show, but I'm now wondering how much class time will be spent rehearsing and how left out kids who aren't taking part might feel.

It's just all a bit mind-boggling. Annoyingly DD loves her classes - with swimming lessons if she's ill she's giddy at missing it, but with ballet she'll drag herself up for it no matter what. I'm wondering if we give notice, take the hit and then find somewhere else and spin it as 'big girl's ballet' tying in with the move to 'big school' too.

Honestly though, what a palaver! :S

My DB had this with his DD ballet shows. DN showed me 5 costumes at £30 each! I have been fortunate that the youngest groups aren't involved in the shows at DD's dance school - they do their own little "show" in class.
If I was in that position, I would offer to chaperone - it does mean getting a chaperone licence from the LA, but you could trade off your time against the admin/chaperone fee and just pay for the costumes/dress rehearsals. But I genuinely couldn't afford £200 for a show.

I would look around. Five shows in a week plus two dress rehearsals seems too much for a 4 year old for a start - (speaking as a performing arts teacher). You can always go back to the more "formal" school in later years.

The chaperone fee sounds nuts. I've never heard of a school charging for this.

Ott. However £30 costumes and extra lessons are the norm. Chaperones should be volunteers though, so no costs for those. Are performance licences required too? ( ie. If theatre is open to paying public)

I’d pull her out for the term and offer to pay for the spring term early (and attend that) or refuse to pay on the basis the lessons will geared towards the show and they didn’t make a full and timely disclosure of the extra costs you would be liable for. Money aside, you don’t want to be doing that in the autumn term for a reception child. She’ll be shattered anyway.

Its crackers. Id move. Or just not so the show.

One of mine did dance for a year at 6 amd she found it overwhelming. I thi k tbe poor little preschoolers found the rehearsals and show ever so hard and I did decide then I definitely wouldnt put my youngest through it at that age. It's more for the mums...

A bit different after a year of school and used to being left and given direction and waiting for ages etc.

@paceyswife 😂 so true. So many of these activities are just scams to rip parents off IMO.

My 3 year old dd does ballet too. They recently did a show that we were supposed to commit to 6 months in advance. It cost an absolute fortune so I didn't let her do it. There were show hoodies at £30, the costume for £40, extra rehearsals, show photos, the tickets were almost £20 each, a DVD for about £20. She would have been on stage for about 2 minutes.
She had no idea she was missing anything so I was glad that I chose to not do it. I'm waiting until she's 4 then I can move her to a more chilled ballet school. She's the size of an elephant with the same amount of grace, it's just a fun hobby not a career so I don't want to be spending thousands.

Pretty much what my dd costs me too at show time. That's including tickets too though. It's an expensive hobby but worth it imho. I think it should be explained when you join up, lots of new families get a shock in our dance school too when its time for shows or exams.

That doesn't sound right to me....

My dd aged 5 has just had her yearly ballet show.

She had one last year too.

All costumes were provided, it was optional to go and see it, though of course we did and the only thing we had to pay was her usual term fees.

We have the option of purchasing photos and/or videos too but that is it.

Everything is provided

I don't think it's typical.

My DD has been dancing since 4, ( now 18 - still dances and teaches too).
At that age shows should not be that expensive.

Older ones perhaps- DD's shoes cost £80 a pair and last 4 hours!

I agree it is madness

My Dni recently had a show...she is older at 13 but good Lord

After the 5 costumes hire at £60 a pop, there were admin fees plus a full day of chaperoning on one day 14 hours for my Dmum, tickets which totalled 150 for all the adults (sis, dmum ,df and Dni father and wife)...it must have all in come to around £500

I cannot see the point but Dni loves it and sis and dmum pay it so their choice

But I am praying my ds's don't decide dance is their thing

Oh and four hours laundering the costumes in a specific way

I justify it as our show is only once a year but if it was more than that I might rethink. Our monthky fees are quite low 20.00 pcm

That's mad. Find a less pretentious ballet school? Dd's we paid something like £20 to take part (half price for reception and younger and they were only in the matinee), the most expensive costume was £15 for little ones and the rest were "wear leggings and t-shirt" or similar. The older kids had posh or rented costumes but they kept it sensible for tiniest. Oh and they listed loads of makeup and crap but we were allowed to opt out. And actually from the audience couldn't tell which kids had or hadn't so it was hardly important.

Btw we do music - concerts are cheaper to participate in but lessons much more expensive than dance as they're 1:1. It probably balances out...

We just have had dds show paid £15 for 1 costume, £20 for 2 costumes and £25 for 3 + costumes. You need a different costume for each dance.

Tickets were then £10 each.

Photos £10 for 1 £25 for 3 or £40 for 6

DVDs will be £15

The last term was massively focused on rehearsal. We have danced with another school and it was pretty similar costs. Our friends dd goes to an incredibly disciplined dance school (Royal Ballet Type) and the costs are a lot higher but they do biannual shows. The costumes were amazing

Madness! -I would be tempted to try and find a more low key dance school that doesn’t take itself so seriously. My dd goes to one that doesn’t do exams so only cost is the show and she loves it. All the ‘chaperones’ are parents who volunteer and the younger kids only perform in one of the performances. It’s a shame to move her though if she enjoys so I get your quandary.

This is absolutely rodicullus. DD did a ballet show in a theatre aged three (we’re in London) and it cost £20 per costume hire plus the tickets. Afterwards they had a tent with photos and merchandise but you didn’t have to buy any of that shit if you didn’t want to.
£200 quid is way to much - they’re taking the piss with the extra payable rehearsals. The weekly lessons are the rehearsals. I would not pay that.