To think most men past the age of 30 suffer from ED?

[NCLady]

Hi all, I NCed for this as it is a bit of an embarrassing topic, but I am a regular poster.

I'll go straight to the point: is it just me being incredibly unlucky, or is ED really really frequent in men over the age of 30?

I am 29 and until a couple of years ago I never slept with a man who had issues with getting it up/ keeping it up/ finishing. I pretty much took it for granted! But in the last few years I dated 4 different men around the age of 30/35 and all of them had some sort of ED issues!

Mostly they could never finish, which I am sure must be really frustrating for a man. Manual or oral stimulation didn't fix the problem either.

I stopped dating all 4 of them partially because of this issue, because it felt like our sexual life wasn't working (on top of other things I was not happy with). None of these flings made it to a proper relationship level, so I never felt like we had the intimacy and trust to talk about the problem openly. With two of them I tried to approach the subject very tactfully, I mostly got defensive reactions and random excuses, so I just dropped it.

Now I started going out with lovely New Guy a few weeks ago, all was well, great attraction and chemistry, awesome compatibility, we went back to his and... SAME PROBLEM! At this stage we slept together 5 times, and he did not manage to finish once. I think I can safely assume there is a regular issue there, and it wasn't a one-off. I feel so disheartened.

Is it me being incredibly unlucky or do I just have to accept that most men past the age of 30 have these issues?

My husband is 32 and he doesn't have any problems getting hard or finishing, it's probably just bad luck.

You’re dating the wrong men

I have a 35 year old boyfriend here, never has a problem getting hard or finishing.

Sorry about your situation!

In my experience, it's because they iron fist when they masterbate. It can be fixed but needs effort on their part.

Sorry, I think you've just been unlucky. My Husband is 40 and certainly no problems in that dept. I've been with men 30+ before we got together and never experienced it. The only time I have has been with previous lavahs when alcohol or possibly drugs have been involved

I honestly think a lot of this is due to masturbation/porn related. They are so used to a strong grip that they struggle to get off on PIV sex. Personally I haven’t experienced this with any of my partners past or present but I’m in my forties and none of my partners have been very interested in watching porn.

34 year old husband never had any issues either way, previous partner in my early twenties was over 30 he never had any issues either. Have they often been drinking heavily?

Not all men no but I do remember noticing sadly around your age that the men I was dating had become a lot less red-blooded.

I went through a few toyboys but they weren't gonna become relationships.

I am not sure if it's relevant to your circumstances but my social life back then was based hugely around booze and wjile I had knocked the drugs on the head, lots of the others hadn't.

My lifestyle caught up with me in the form of many health complications and as a result my down time is spent doing activities, drinking way less. I now move in fit circles, therefore meet fit healthy people...

You can probably guess what I discovered. I am settled down now with a 48 year old man, he is fit as f* in both senses and I can't keep up with his sex drive.

No issues at all with DH who is early fifties.

Have you met these men all in the same way (e.g via the same dating site etc)?

My guess is also that this is masturbation/porn related.Do you know how long any of them have been sexually inactive? Sounds like they've been going it alone for a while!

Yeah it's porn/masturbation/death grip related i'd say.

If they're on antidepressants for any reason, they probably will. I don't think it'd be usual in the natural way of things?

Nope no issues with DH and he is 39. He doesn't masturbate anymore though as we have sex regularly enough that he doesn't feel the need.

To answer a few of your questions:

• sometimes alcohol was involved, but not all the times so I doubt that was the sole culprit.
• while I never had PIV sex without a condom with any of these men, when I gave the condom-free manual stimulation they still could not keep it up for long/ finish, so not sure that was the issue either.
• (as far as I know) none of these men was doing drugs, or was on antidepressants or physically unfit/ overweight.

My dh is 60 and has no problems

Not in my experience. Slept with lots of men 18 -50, only 2 have had issues with ED, both were in early 20s.

Too much wanking to porn.

DH is in his forties and no problems like that.

It could well be porn/masturbating.

I think 30s is young for age related ED although there can be other reasons and some men can suffer from it for a variety of reasons

DH doesn't. His is the only thirtysomething penis I've ever partaken of, but I was under the impression that erection problems don't become common until later on? Agree I'd be looking at other causes. Men in their early 30s in particular grew up wanking to porn.

ED is a problem for men who watch porn. The reality of sex as being something that actively involves 2 people doesn't match up to their fantasy.

My DH is 35 and I WISH he had some ED (joke, of course I wouldn't wish it on him)

The only man I dated over 30 was my DH. No issues (can manage 7 times a day if not too busy/tired). Somehow I think that may not be normal either

Never had this problem with any guy I've had sex with. Dp is 40+ and has never not finished. I think you must be very very unlucky.

My husband is 54 and never had a problem
It’s porn and masturbating related I think as others have said