Mature escort

[jazzyfizzles]

Just after people's opinions on how they'd feel living opposite a very busy adult escort. Living in a quiet cul de sac but our house is the only one that would directly be able to see what's going on (worked it out when off on maternity leave before baby was here, lots of time on my hands!)

If you want to run any kind of business which involves clients on the premises, you have to have a some kind of permit to do so, as I understood it, to shift form a residential address to a business or part- business address. There are obvious parking implications and some degree of impact in the local environment / neighbours. If we all ran such businesses from home, it could be problematic obviously.

This is why I can’t see clients at my home. A friend of mine lives in a cul-de-sac set up out in Surrey similar to the one the OP describes. She wanted to practice as a nutritional therapist from a studio room in her back garden, but the neighbours fought her application on the grounds of limited parking and restricted access.

I wouldnt want a prostitute living close to me.

I might not have any choice but nevertheless, i would rahter not suffer it.

it wouldnt bother me. as long as she wasnt doing it in full view of the windows or hanging at the door in lingerie - i wouldnt care.

However if you are worried about your daughter seeing men buttoning up their trousers (fully valid worry), then maybe either speak to her about it or send an anonymous note saying "its a family road, i dont mind what you do behind closed doors but please ask your friends to get dressed and do their trousers up inside the house as you are drawing attention".

also, if you own the car space, can you have a word with her? or install one of those pole bollards with a padlock on top so only you have the key

Bluelady

Yes, regularly. And our other neighbours if our space isn't free

It’s just can’t imagine anyone proudly bragging about their daughter’s new job in the sex industry 🤷‍♀️. That includes the men who use them.

I've seen this argument used a lot by the anti-prostitution lobby. There are lots of jobs I wouldn't choose for my children...but if a mature adult makes a choice (of his / her own free will - without any kind of coercion or duress) then who am I to stipulate?

Pig stud farms have to employ someone to collect pig semen through manual manipulation. Apparently it is a skilled job and still can't be automated.

But someone does it. The rate of pay is governed by supply of quality applicants and the demand created by the volume of work.

I am sure it's not a job anyone ever dreamed of going into or woild brag about on FB - but how many of us can say that?

Francine - You are right in so far that there may be a minority of women who freely decide to go into prostitution with no predisposing factors such as having been previously abused, groomed into it at some point, mental health, drug problems etc. However, these women will be a very tiny minority of the industry as a whole.

I spent many years working with trafficked women and it’s incredibly insulting to their experiences to pretend prostitution is inevitable and generally harmless with no implications across society. It’s no wonder punters are able justify paying for sex when they read women going to such lengths to normalise it on here. “She’s up for it”, “It’s the oldest profession in the book”, “basic supply and demand, what can you do?” etc - these kind of trite statements just enable mental dissonance. And how would any punter ever know whether the prostitute he is using had never experienced coercion in the past or the real circumstances that brought her to that place. The point is they prefer not to think about that, much like many of the posters on here.

I read the “AMA - I am an ex-prostitute” thread recently. There were several women claiming to be independent sex workers who were absolutely adamant that they had chosen prostitution of their own free will. Some were working from home. Only after about 700 posts, was it revealed that they had all, without exception, been sexually abused as children and had little or no family support and /or other adverse circumstances. One tells of how she gave her first blow job at 5 and has basically been doing it ever since. She felt nothing. Yet to any punter she would have appeared “up for it” and “in control” and all the usual platitudes people like to buy into.

Who knows what’s going on with this woman opposite, but I would say she’s in a vulnerable position. If she ever is unfortunate enough to get strangled or beaten in her own home, will the police and the “mind your own business” grandstanders be laughing on the other side of their faces then? It’s all legal after all.

I've seen this argument used a lot by the anti-prostitution lobby. There are lots of jobs I wouldn't choose for my children...but if a mature adult makes a choice (of his / her own free will - without any kind of coercion or duress) then who am I to stipulate?

Sorry, did you actually read my post or are you too busy pushing your own agenda?

At what point did I imply that I thought I had a right to stipulate what job any man (or woman) does? I was extremely careful to reiterate that I don’t actually have a problem with the industry itself, just the bad side of it. I also specifically said that I accept some women (men too I’m sure) enjoy sex work. Doesn’t bother me. As long as they do. Could not give one fuck about it. Go them woo!

What I think is fucking ridiculous though, is the implication that it’s someth everyone does, (“the women who are fucking all of your husbands”) and how it’s a totally acceptable part of society now. I’m saying that no it isn’t.

And lots of people I know who work in farming, would brag about having a skilled job in farming.

I doubt the local brothel owner would be proud of punch if his daughter became the top sex worker in his establishment. It’s much more than, “not a job I’d choose for my child”.

Excuse typos. I am typing fast on my phone.

Brag about their child having a skilled job in farming*

vashna well you’ve changed your tune. You’ve just spent the last few pages telling us how the community in your area would be up in arms and would be working to have her moved or prevented from working and now we must assume that she is a victim of trafficking or child abuse. ( both of which I’ve worked with too). You’ve also stated that only a tiny minority of women working in the sex industry do so willingly. I’d really like to know where the research on that comes from - since statistics around the rates of prostitution that I’ve seen are only estimates. Certainly I don’t believe that because trafficked women are found to be coerced into prostitution that all prostitutes are therefore trafficked. ( or are victims of rape as has also been stated ). And even if that was the case why would you be so hell bent on reporting her to the police or HM Gov re her perceived tax evasion rather than concentrating your efforts on helping her escape her plight. It is a sad fact that some children who are abused go on to be sex workers or have drug / alcohol problems and mental illness and that’s one of the reasons child abuse is so horrific but it’s certainly not a foregone conclusion. And although I or you or any of us may not think that sex work is a healthy occupation so far as self esteem or mental health is concerned the fact remains that she is not operating illegally and is not causing a nuisance warranting the involvement of the authorities. If you don’t like the law perhaps you should start campaigning to have it changed.

Spirited, no I have not changed my tune at all.

I also did not bring up the issue of possible tax evasion and I have not mentioned this. You are confusing me with Francine there.

The reasons I have given above are the very reasons I would not feel comfortable having prostitution happening opposite my house. It would not sit well with me on many levels. I believe I would have as much right to feel that way as the “escort” has to offer that service. No I don’t know this woman’s circumstances, but neither do you. Your approach in dismissing the issue is just as cavalier and high-handed as anything I have said. I am simply being honest that I would feel uneasy with prostitution happening opposite to me and I suspect most people would feel the same.

If you were called to a house where a family were genuinely concerned about the frequency / behaviour of punters coming in and out if a neighbours house and they found the thought of what is happening in there distressing, would you just tell them to shut up and get over themselves? Would you tell them they are petty and narrow-minded? Would you then tell them that because they are uncomfortable about prostitution, they must also be racist, homophobic and anti-single mothers to boot? I hope not because if this is what the police have come to, god help us.

I used to live in a flat above a takeaway in Northenden, and after a few weeks of living there, my flatmates and I (all female) discovered it had been a place used by men and prostitutes. How did we know?

We were propositioned EVERY day when we got home from work, the door was being knocked all hours of the night by very aggressive men wanting to come in.

It is not a pleasant job and her guests will not all be very lovely professional men whose wives' don't understand them...

I'd go and have a chat with her, nicely and just ask about the parking and doing zippers up. She may be really nice and want a friend.

Our space has been used again today, husband thinks we should park behind them blocking them in and leave a note to give us a knock? Not sure if that's a good or bad idea

Sorry, not read all the replies. Too many pages. This though - the men walk out still doing up their flies?!
I've got an image of Pat Mustard now.
"Teresa! I forgot me feckin trousers!"

Just go speakto her and ask that visitors don't use your space.

If there is any concern about this woman's health and well-being there people you could call to investigate. I saw a poster just today regarding what to do if you have suspicions of e.g. slavery. They have an advice line you can call.

She might of course be perfectly happy and have made a fully informed decision to conduct this business. Who knows?

So there are three schools of thought evident

1. People who are principally opposed to prostitution and the believe that this woman needs to be
2. People who aren't bothered what mature adults do in private - as long as it's legal
3. Pretty much the same as Group 2 but with more concern for the possible inconvenience / risk/ harm to other residents (eg nuisance parking, possible infringement of local authority and wider rules on the use of a domestic property for business purposes, the associated tax and insurance implications)

I guess I am in Group 3... Play within the rules and be considerate.

*The belief that this woman is a victim and needs to be rescued

I would not want a prostitute near my home. I do not think though that the police would be interested.

I am sure there are ways for 'group 3' as FrancinePefko42 describes to be used to make it less unpleasant or the woman move away. Most of the cars I am sure would park elsewhere if a photo of the car was taken, printed out, and a copy left on the windscreen of the car before the man leaves. The OP suggested that via the web the woman's business page could be found- if there are reviews, fake ones saying 'don't park nearby if you want to be discreet, the neighbours know' could be placed.

She might of course be perfectly happy and have made a fully informed decision to conduct this business. Who knows?
We all know [some only know deep down] that no woman chooses this 'job' unless desperate in one way or another. STOP presenting prostitution as a job choice. Who among us would willingly shag that old bloke with no teeth who stinks of piss and halitosis and whose saggy belly hangs out below his vest? Well, if you are unfortunate enough to have ended up in such a desperate situation that you make the erm "career choice" of prostitution then that's you that shags that repulsive man and because he's paid you, he will do whatever the fuck he wants, no matter how much you are repulsed, hold the vomit in until you've been paid. Some of you women must be from a different planet. I had a friend who genuinely believed that women became prostitutes because they, I quote "like a lot of sex" FFS, nothing to do with a lifetime of abuse or coercion or debts or NO ACTUAL CHOICE, it's not offered in schools as a career choice, why? because it's ABUSE. Consent is something which is freely given NOT bought. I say this because all the pro prostitution women on here have ABSOFUCKINLUTELY NO IDEA!!!

I get the feeling you might be in Group 1 IgamOgamJones.

How do you think it should be tackled? Recriminalised?

1- Stop calling prostitution [which only ever refers to female prostitution] as 'the oldest profession' and correct that to slavery.
2- Criminalise men who 'use' prostitutes.
3- Let's all be radical feminists!
4- Be honest about what the 'job' really entails.
5- Stop Hollywood glamourising prostitution.
6- Self esteem classes for all girls so none end up as spunk receptacles.
7- Criminalise pornography [which is used as 'training' for trafficked children and women].
8-Lots more but I shall be slated for this much, not that I care but the 'blow job or no job' attitude that some women [on here] have is destructive and misogynistic.
9- I speak from experience.

1- Stop calling prostitution [which only ever refers to female prostitution] as 'the oldest profession' and correct that to slavery. You want to ban a phrase? How would you enforce that?
2- Criminalise men who 'use' prostitutes. I think this is what they've done in one of the Scandinavian countries. Any idea of how well this approach is working? Would you extend beyond sex in exchange for cash to include sex in exchange for "gifts" ?
3- Let's all be radical feminists! Radical Feminism has a serious image problem that is putting many people off.
4- Be honest about what the 'job' really entails. A public information campaign?
5- Stop Hollywood glamourising prostitution. A collective statement of intemt enforced by a censorship board for writers and directors? It could be done if there was enough collective will.
6- Self esteem classes for all girls so none end up as spunk receptacles. Would classes would do the trick?
7- Criminalise pornography [which is used as 'training' for trafficked children and women]. Would this include e.g. webcammimg? What about CGI porn? Amateur couples sexting each other? Sharing this with friends?
8-Lots more but I shall be slated for this much, not that I care but the 'blow job or no job' attitude that some women [on here] have is destructive and misogynistic. I'm curious.
9- I speak from experience. How do you know your experience is identical to that of others or universal?

Well said Igam.

I find some of the views on here totally insulting to the millions of women forced into prostitution every day. Every time someone tries to justify the industry with platitudes such as “it’s the oldest profession”, “boys will be boys”, “women should be free to use their bodies as they wish” and so on blah blah, it makes a mockery of their suffering because men can always pull the “some women choose to do it” card. Try telling a trafficked girl it’s “just sex after all” and “some women choose this and find it liberating”. It’s deeply insulting.

I would say I’m in group 4 because I don’t buy the “liberal / cool” bollocks spouted on here. If this happened opposite me, I would be concerned for the welfare and safety of the prostitute; the knowledge of it taking place in my street would unsettle me; I would find it highly depressing; I would be agitated by the punters and I would wonder about the circumstances that has brought the woman to where she is. Alternatively, if indeed she is one of these supposed “liberated” women who just woke up one morning and made the “free choice” to service random men, then that too would irritate me. That “choice” perpetrates the normalisation of a wider industry that equates to modern day slavery for millions worldwide who do not have the luxury of her “liberated choice”.

So for all these reasons I would not want this happening opposite my family - and yes, the parking and tax situation may also be minor irritations.