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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

More of a WWYD - Naked wanking neighbour

184 replies

LittleMissPetty · 14/07/2018 21:00

Hi everyone sorry I'm posting here for traffic.

A month ago a couple moved into the house two doors down from me ("MNN" - male new neighbour). Other than an acknowledging nod in passing I have never spoken to them.

One night a couple of weeks ago I came home at about 10.30 at night and MNN was stood in his lounge window with the lights on, curtains wide open and butt naked. I saw everything. I thought it may have been an accident i.e it's late at night and he's just walking around naked (although the way I drive in to my parking space my lights would have shone right in his window Hmm ).

Then another night I came home at about 10.30 again and there was someone having extremely loud sex - it was a hot night so everyone had their windows open. As I got home my 13yo DD was closing her window to block out the sex noises. (In fairness I cannot say whether it was definitely the new neighbours but I did do the obligatory mumsnet clap when they finished Grin ).

Then last week my NDN (between me and new neighbours) told me that his cleaner had been in his kitchen in the middle of the day and MNN had been in his own garden at the top naked and wanking. MNN saw the cleaner and rather than looking sheepish and running inside he kept going only harder Hmm .

I have just got back from picking DD up from a party and, driving into our parking area where we have to look straight at new neighbours' house, MNN was in his bedroom, window open, curtains open wanking away. DD noticed it and even commented saying "is that really necessary".

I do wish I had shouted at the time "close your curtains" but it didn't occur to me at the time.

If it weren't for my NDN's story about his cleaner I would assume it was just carelessness but tonight it was almost as if he had deliberately positioned himself so anyone driving up or walking past would see. I don't think I feel comfortable knocking and asking them to ensure curtains are closed as it's just me and DD so don't want to draw specific attention to us - particularly as he can see into our garden and it just feels creepy tbh. Their house is rented so at least they may not be there permanently.

WWYD?

OP posts:
JustDanceAddict · 27/07/2018 18:28

Call 101

ScrubTheDecks · 27/07/2018 18:34

I would make a statement.

You want (need!) the police to deal with this, they are ready to deal with it.

They can't get any kind of injunction or behaviour order on him unless people make statements. It's kind of disarming them not to make a statement, after they have pursue it.

He lives near you whether you make a statement or not.

If his house is rented my guess is he will move quickly once you have given the police and courts power to actually deal with him.

If you don't give a statement and he escalates to jumping out of bushes at your Dd still wanking (this is what men in the park used to do when I was at school) you will regret it.

kenandbarbie · 27/07/2018 18:36

I would make a statement too, he sounds like it could get much worse and it needs sorting.

seven201 · 27/07/2018 18:59

I think you definitely should do the formal statement. I wonder if his wife/partner has any clue what he's doing?! It's vile.

covetingthepreciousthings · 27/07/2018 18:59

I can completely understand your reluctance, but please reconsider a statement.
The police need to deal with his behaviour before it escalates into something much sinister.
Hopefully the cleaner will also give a statement too.

AJPTaylor · 27/07/2018 19:01

please make a statement. police do not have time to waste on non viable cases. they must be concerned. if he had done that in front of one of my daughters i would not hesitate.

MarcieBluebell · 27/07/2018 19:16

If you make a statement that's two people. You never know a third and fourth might come forward. But I understand your concerns.

hottotrotsky · 27/07/2018 19:19

This is a wind up.

HollowTalk · 27/07/2018 19:21

This man is disgusting! Do you know if they're renting or buying? If renting, I'd report it to his landlord/lady, too.

happychange · 27/07/2018 20:02

Out of interest what is the landlord going to do? If they have an AST the landlord can't kick them out?

81Byerley · 27/07/2018 20:58

I know you aren't sure about making a statement because of having to live near him... he will be a lot more worried about that than you will! Make the statement!

HollowTalk · 27/07/2018 21:26

@happychange, wouldn't there be something in the contract about not being a nuisance to neighbours?

AgathaF · 27/07/2018 21:27

Please make the statement. It's probably the best way to protect your daughter and other children nearby. He may already be known to them too, so it will allow them to investigate and take appropriate action.

NoFucksImAQueen · 27/07/2018 21:45

you should definitely make the complaint. you're one of at least 3 people that have witnessed this behaviour now, the guy is disgusting!

StaplesCorner · 27/07/2018 22:17

At what point would your need to protect yourself and your DD from this twat override your need to keep in his good books?

TooManyPaws · 27/07/2018 22:33

Please make the statement. Do you really want a sex offender to possibly go unpunished and escalate his behaviour because the police didn't have the strongest case possible? You read this all the time in the early years of some horrific offenders.

Making a statement isn't a bad experience, honest. The police will just want you to say exactly what you saw and what happened, and ask questions to make sure everything is clear so that there's nothing left unsaid.

After all, you're not likely to see him again as he will probably have to move.

Cagliostro · 27/07/2018 22:54

He probably got hounded out of his previous house for being a perv. Can't help wondering what his partner knows about all this Hmm

Please give the statement. He needs to stop.

MinorRSole · 27/07/2018 23:17

Unlike previous posters I don't understand your reluctance. What do you want to teach your daughter - that men can do what they like and we just don't make a scene?! Come on op, there is no good reason not to make a statement.

c3pu · 27/07/2018 23:20

Please make a statement. Don't allow this sort of thing to go unchallenged, he is in the wrong, not you

HollowTalk · 27/07/2018 23:21

Unlike previous posters I don't understand your reluctance.

RTFT.

ThisIsHistory · 27/07/2018 23:22

Coppers.

MinorRSole · 27/07/2018 23:24

@HollowTalk I have thanks

Heismyopendoor · 27/07/2018 23:34

Give the statement

MaggieMuggins · 27/07/2018 23:51

Presumably the OP is reluctant because she is intimidated, not out of politeness.

Having said that, you need to put your big girl pants on and make the statement. The police are clearly trying to protect you and your daughter. If a man did that in front of my DD I'd put a brick through his window.

Rosielily · 28/07/2018 08:21

PC is calling me tomorrow to ask my decision regarding giving a statement. He did say they could keep DD out of it but still I have to live near this person so not sure.

But you live near him already and his behaviour is totally unacceptable and could well escalate if not stopped.

If I have understood you correctly one person has already made a statement about him and the cleaner is prepared to. Your statement will add to the evidence against him and hopefully nip this in the bud before it gets worse.

Do you really want your young daughter and, indeed, other youngsters, to continue to witness this?

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