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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

More of a WWYD - Naked wanking neighbour

184 replies

LittleMissPetty · 14/07/2018 21:00

Hi everyone sorry I'm posting here for traffic.

A month ago a couple moved into the house two doors down from me ("MNN" - male new neighbour). Other than an acknowledging nod in passing I have never spoken to them.

One night a couple of weeks ago I came home at about 10.30 at night and MNN was stood in his lounge window with the lights on, curtains wide open and butt naked. I saw everything. I thought it may have been an accident i.e it's late at night and he's just walking around naked (although the way I drive in to my parking space my lights would have shone right in his window Hmm ).

Then another night I came home at about 10.30 again and there was someone having extremely loud sex - it was a hot night so everyone had their windows open. As I got home my 13yo DD was closing her window to block out the sex noises. (In fairness I cannot say whether it was definitely the new neighbours but I did do the obligatory mumsnet clap when they finished Grin ).

Then last week my NDN (between me and new neighbours) told me that his cleaner had been in his kitchen in the middle of the day and MNN had been in his own garden at the top naked and wanking. MNN saw the cleaner and rather than looking sheepish and running inside he kept going only harder Hmm .

I have just got back from picking DD up from a party and, driving into our parking area where we have to look straight at new neighbours' house, MNN was in his bedroom, window open, curtains open wanking away. DD noticed it and even commented saying "is that really necessary".

I do wish I had shouted at the time "close your curtains" but it didn't occur to me at the time.

If it weren't for my NDN's story about his cleaner I would assume it was just carelessness but tonight it was almost as if he had deliberately positioned himself so anyone driving up or walking past would see. I don't think I feel comfortable knocking and asking them to ensure curtains are closed as it's just me and DD so don't want to draw specific attention to us - particularly as he can see into our garden and it just feels creepy tbh. Their house is rented so at least they may not be there permanently.

WWYD?

OP posts:
newsparklythings · 15/07/2018 15:22

Call the Police, and cancel the cheque OP Wink

Original poster
LittleMissPetty · 15/07/2018 15:32

newsparklythings should I call the police? Grin

OP posts:
NotDavidTennant · 15/07/2018 15:33

I would imagine that in the first instance the Police will have a quiet word with him. Knowing the Police are on to him might be enough to get him to stop, and if it isn't then he can hardly claim it's an accident next time.

acatcalledjohn · 15/07/2018 17:05

Don't forget to cancel the cheque, OP.

That's after you've called the police though. Chop chop!

Grin

It does sound like he enjoys knowing he could be seen but just not by anyone in particular. Fingers crossed other people have reported it too.

longwayoff · 15/07/2018 18:44

Dont address him,. Tell the police. This behaviour is not as rare as you would hope. They probably know of him and likely he is on the SO register already.

InsomniacAnonymous · 15/07/2018 18:47

"Dont address him,. Tell the police."

Grin
AgathaF · 15/07/2018 18:48

Vile man. I'm glad you've reported.

Thefourmuskateers · 16/07/2018 17:47

Well done for reporting. My child seeing would be where I draw a line with that kind of behaviour, it'd take me from that's disgusting to absolutely furious.

CobaltRose · 16/07/2018 18:44

I think he's doing it for a kick. If he'd only been caught the once and acted sheepish it might have been an accident/a one off, but I think he's a perv who gets a kick out of exposing himself. I'd definitely report him.

CobaltRose · 16/07/2018 18:46

Oh, just read you've reported him. Well done.

AaronPurrSir · 19/07/2018 18:23

@littlemisspetty have there been any more sightings of wanking man, or the police?

c3pu · 19/07/2018 18:41

Phone the police, then cancel the cheque.

Original poster
LittleMissPetty · 27/07/2018 17:21

Hi everyone I thought I would just give you all an update.

I spoke with the local police last weekend. I explained everything as I had in the OP and the officer confirmed that they had had another report to that I had described regarding the cleaner. I was given the option of making a formal statement or just recording what I had said in case any issues come up in the future. I have to admit I was a bit of a wimp and went for the latter option. The policeman said they would be attending the property in any event due to the other complaint.

And that was that .... or so I thought.

I received a phone call from a police officer today (not the one I spoke to). I was asked to reconsider giving a formal statement. The PC had taken the statement from the other neighbour who had made a complaint, but that occurred after my complaint Confused. The PC asked the name of the cleaner and it is not the same person Shock. The complaint was the same though (wanking in the garden).

I was asked on the phone too whether the cleaner would be willing to make a statement. Without going in to all details since the phonecall the cleaner has confirmed she will.

The PC stated similar concerns to those stated on this thread (escalating behaviour, possibly known to them already - annoyingly no one knows his name so they can't check).

PC is calling me tomorrow to ask my decision regarding giving a statement. He did say they could keep DD out of it but still I have to live near this person so not sure.

OP posts:
Gretagumbo · 27/07/2018 17:51

I understand your reluctance not to make a statement as he lives next door but could you talk this through with the police.

This shouldn’t be left unchecked, it’s quite sinister. He needs to be stopped or his behaviour may escalate

longwayoff · 27/07/2018 17:58

Give it serious thought. If he's kept it up, so to speak, your statement wont be the only one and I expect hes known to them and already on the SRO. If hes new neighbour he hopefully wont be there long. Hopefully he is on SRO and has failed to notify his address to them. If renting, then notify his landlord of his behaviour. Good luck.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 27/07/2018 18:02

I would try and get a few distance (really distant photos )

And write it all down with dates etc before you report

But yes we have a sex offender if not already , in the making

Ugh

Laiste · 27/07/2018 18:03

But why have you not reported it to the police?

Laiste · 27/07/2018 18:04

Sorry OP. Couldn't resit. It's a horrible situation and you're doing well Flowers

Mousefunky · 27/07/2018 18:06

Definitely give the statement and persuade the cleaner to. It honestly takes about half an hour of your time and you could potentially save someone from being sexually assaulted. He’s a flasher, they don’t always stop here you know...

bastardkitty · 27/07/2018 18:07

I hope you will give a statement. It's awful and criminal but also likely to escalate.

ohfourfoxache · 27/07/2018 18:08

I understand your reluctance, but I think you need to give a formal statement. The police wouldn’t ask you to reconsider if it wasn’t important

Wonkydonkey44 · 27/07/2018 18:12

Please give a statement this is seriously fu**ed up behaviour.
4 people have now seen this it’s not isolated . Good luck !

LakieLady · 27/07/2018 18:12

Thanks for the update OP. I would give a statement, personally. It might be helpful if they consider bringing charges later.

jelliebelly · 27/07/2018 18:13

Why wouldn't you give the statement? Without formal statements the police can't take action and do you really want to live with this??

ColinsVeryJolly · 27/07/2018 18:26

This happened to a friend of mine, her next door neighbour too and when her young DD was with her.

She reported him and it went to court. He was ordered to keep a certain distance from her so he had to move away.