Aibu or is school, regarding discipline?

[Imustbemad00]

Would like any information anyone can give me regarding secondary schools and discipline procedures.
My child’s secondary school is strict. I knew it was strict, partly why I chose it. However, in reality, it is causing so many problems. My child has changed so much since starting there, unhappy, suffering with mental health and has developed a bad attitude problem and I will admit is being quite naughty at school and at home. Im worried.

This brings me on to the school rules and discipline. The school penalises children for looking out of a window, or anything viewed as a drop in concentration or messing around. Even dropping a pen. They have to move through the corridors in silence and not make eye contact with anyone and can’t even mess about at break time. They have to sit and chat and be sensible. It’s like they can not have personalities.

The sanctions for bad behaviour are extreme. My child has spent a lot of time in isolation, which means out of lessons. Not learning. Not talking to another person all day. Not great for a child already struggling with mental health.

The school also give them double detentions, meaning my child is was in school for 9 hours and 45mins today without talking to another child or being in any lessons, arriving home at 6.30pm.

I try to work with them as I know my child’s behaviour is the cause of punishments, but honestly feel they are way over the top and their approach is making things worse. They say that those are their policies and that is that.

I’m thinking of moving schools but worry my child’s behaviour could worsen if boundriers were relaxed. But equally they could flourish if not so unhappy and stressed.

So Aibu to think the schools policies are over the top? Is it normal?

There is absolutely no chance of expulsion

@Imustbemad00 have you decided what you're going to do OP , so it doesn't drag over the summer ?

Why is your child misbehaving?

Storminamug
Really?

Yes, really. I skimmed the thread so you may have answered elsewhere.

You say the behaviour is because of his frustration at school. Is that the only cause? If so, it would make sense for him to move schools. Or if it is generally that they are unable to express themselves which leads to frustration- then that needs to be dealt with as it will reoccur at another school or later in life.

Storminamug
It’s a mixture of things. Some as simple as being a teenager, other more complex mental health issues that started after starting the school. I can’t ever know the exact causes but I honestly feel the schools lack of pastoral care early on and very extreme sanctions for minor behaviours, have escalated many things, including behaviour, which has got worse but is still not as terrible as it seems to be coming across on here.

Have you considered asking the school for a managed move? Has your child's mental health team been working with the school?

Agree with everyone else. Move your son to another school.

CAMHS in most areas are in utter meltdown, so it’s rare for kids to get a ‘mental health team’ unless they’re in crisis & close to admission or even admitted. Things are really bad for CAMHS services now. I doubt the child has a mental health team to work with any school.