To stick my nose in with harassed mum hitting toddler

[RosyPrimroseface]

In the road the other day my DS was on my shoulders and he suddenly said "Why that mummy hitting girl?" I turned and saw a woman across the road slapping a girl (aged about 3).

It wasn't very hard but the girl obvs was crying a lot. And as DS noticed first, she had evidently hit her more than once, as i saw one and he the other.

I called across "Did you just hit her?!" in a voice which was definitely judgemental. And posh and annoying i expect. She said "I gave her hand a tap!"

I said "That's not good. It's not ideal."

Now. I was twatty and irritating. I didn't make life easier for the girl; as her mum then was even grumpier. Nor the mum, who was angry and gave me a bit of abuse, naturally. I don't think I should have commented.

But - I don't think it's ever ok to hit children, and maybe if there's more reaction from bystanders it will become generally less acceptable??

Or am i just a busybody? Interested to see balance of views.

I was smacked a lot as a child (across the face and legs, leaving big red marks) and decided I'd never do that to my child. My toddler can be annoying but I can't imagine responding to that with physical violence.

But I don't think that intervening in this situation would have done any good, unless - as PP have suggested - you were being empathetic and offered to help/asked the mum if she was

If the parent had reached the end of their tether and was going to feel bad about it afterwards, they would have felt bad enough without you intervening. You haven't imparted a useful life lesson, you've just made them feel worse about momentarily losing control.

If the parent is violent or abusive - or is neither, but thinks occasional smacking, or smacking in specific circumstances, is fine - your intervention is not going to change their mind, it's just going to annoy them.

Either way, you're not going to make that person a better parent by speaking to them, and you're not going to improve the life of the child.

Asked the mum if she was ok

I agree Caitlin

If someone had said something to me about my interactions with my dc in public I would have said something along the lines of "well you look after them for a while if you are so wonderful"

I mean being judgey not are you ok remark b

Not that I was smacking them more like telling them off or being snappy as I was stressed