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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask my MIL not to drink tea

298 replies

KittyKat73 · 11/07/2018 08:55

AIBU to ask my MIL not to drink tea when she is holding my baby?

I thought this seemed like a reasonable request but every single time she seems him she trys to hold him and drink a cup of tea. every single time I ask her not to incase she spills some by mistake or he knocks it out her hand by accident.

My baby is now 5 months but she has done this ever since he was born and last time I saw her she made a snidey remark about me being too precious to let her have tea and hold him. Confused She has 2 other grandchildren who are older (aged 1 and 4) so im guessing by her reaction to me she used to drink tea and hold them all the time.

I just dont think its worth the risk but being made to feel like im being ridiculous and actually anxious when we see her because i know she will attempt to try and do it even though every single time I ask her not to.

OP posts:
stayathomer · 12/07/2018 09:20

Also you won’t be able to use her for babysitting she can’t be trusted so better start thinking about other arrangements.

I was thinking this too, OP, but I wouldn't agree with banning her or anything extreme like that, just keep saying it, she'll get so fed up of hearing it she'll stop!
And she doesn’t love her grandchild. She loves to fight with you, it looks like a main purpose of her visits.

A lot of MIL's cause issues but it's a bit extreme to think she doesn't love her grandchild

Original poster
KittyKat73 · 12/07/2018 09:59

She definately always likes to be right. I think this battle is half wanting to be right or win and half genuinely doesnt acknowledge or believe that its risky.

to her she will think oh ill have a lovely cup of tea and cuddle my grandson and probally believes im just being a pest. Havent heard anything from her today but thats not unsual sometimes she will txt last minute to see if we are free ( we usually are on a thursday)

OP posts:
Aworldofmyown · 12/07/2018 13:50

I would buy her a travel mug and just make her tea in it.

Snipples · 12/07/2018 13:57

Starbucks have nice ones- I just bought this one today thanks to this thread

AIBU to ask my MIL not to drink tea
Figlessfig · 12/07/2018 16:13

I thought you were talking about my MIL until I remembered my MIL is dead!

Seriously though, you mustn’t let her do this. You should meet my cousin, whose mother spilt hot tea over her arm when she was a toddler. That was 40 years ago, and she still has really terrible scars.

Atalune · 12/07/2018 16:17

Do not use her for regular childcare if you have a rocky relationship. That’s a terrible idea.

Ironmanrocks · 12/07/2018 16:23

I'd give her a sippy cup....and make the tea lukewarm!

SaltyPeanut · 12/07/2018 17:15

My DH was standing by the kitchen worktop. He knocked a mug of tea over. From the small amount splashed on him (about 80 percent was still on the counter) he scalded all the skin off his penis with thick red burns also over his stomach and down the whole of one thigh. Required hospital treatment.

I've never seen anyone in so much pain. He was in shock and he was an adult.

I hate to think if that had gone over a baby...massive shudder.

She is a thoughtless stupid woman.

I saw how hot water scalds within an instant. Tell her straight, be unpleasant about it if need be because the safety of your baby is more important than her feelings.

squeezedatbothends · 12/07/2018 17:28

My brother in law is now grown up with severe scarring all over his neck and chest caused by a cup of tea when he was a year old. He's had a lifetime of operations and skin grafts. Tell your mother in law that tale and then ban her from being anywhere near your child when she has a hot drink in her hand.

ReginaBlitzkreig · 12/07/2018 17:30

When she asks for tea tell her to make her own. Then hang on to your DS until she's finished it.

user1468942365 · 12/07/2018 17:33

I can testify to its stupidity. One of my friend's children has a scarred back from this very thing. And had a broken arm too where her GM dropped her to save the tea...

Goodasgoldilox · 12/07/2018 17:36

Serve her cold tea? Your house - your rules.

Seems like a common sense rule to me too.

dwab45 · 12/07/2018 17:37

Need you ask. No tea or any drink, hot or cold, while baby around. Your child, your rules, fuck of MIL.

Threepe · 12/07/2018 17:39

Your baby your rules , has she any cop on.

endaseclipse · 12/07/2018 17:40

My son threw his comforter up to the kitchen worktop when he was two. In a flash a mug of tea and a mug of coffee without warning burnt the skin off both arms. Horrific. He was exceptionally lucky and had the best NHS treatment.

CornishMaid1 · 12/07/2018 17:41

Just make tea with cold/lukewarm water until she gets the message.

BadassUnicorn · 12/07/2018 17:42

YANBU. If she continues to be so stubborn and eyerolly when you bring it up you could always, accidentally of course, spill a little hot tea on her hand when she is far away from the baby. Then say something on the lines of "oh so sorry, it was an accident, that must hurt so much" and then point out that's why it's dangerous to hold hot drinks when holding young babies and toddlers.

Sounds evil, but obviously she's a bit of a b*tch and is refusing to be reasonable and understand what the rest of the world knows, i.e. no hot drinks around babies.

Shockers · 12/07/2018 17:42

DH (52) still has the large scar he got as a toddler when someone knocked into the person holding a cup of tea next to him.

Shockers · 12/07/2018 17:44

Buy her a lidded travel mug. We use them at school because we don’t want to be responsible for the scalding of small children.

Touchmybum · 12/07/2018 17:46

Don't ask any questions, just take the baby off her and say, you will let her drink her tea in peace!!

user1483875094 · 12/07/2018 17:47

Send her this. www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2112002/Baby-dies-scalded-drop-hot-tea.html

BadassUnicorn · 12/07/2018 17:48

I would also seriously tell her that if she ever spilled as much as a drop of lukewarm tea on the child, out of stubborness on her part, that's the last she would be seeing of him. Ever. And do it in the most serious, don't-mess-with-me tone, looking at her straight in the eye.

SunnyCoco · 12/07/2018 17:50

Babies and toddlers have skin that is far more easy to burn. That’s why you have to be so careful about running hot baths etc
She’s being a twat

EllenMP · 12/07/2018 18:00

You are right OP. Stick to your guns and she will get used to it. How about buying a covered travel mug and serving her tea in that when she comes? They make nice glass or ceramic ones if you don't want to give her plastic.

Melamin · 12/07/2018 18:03

LOL - I was taught how to breast feed and leave myself free to have a cuppa at the same time - then told by the health visitor not to Hmm anyway, by the time I had sorted things out with twins, the tea was fecking cold anyway.

But that is different to having cuddles where the whole point is that you are giving the child attention and you are both enjoying it (not trying to survive from one minute to the next) so I can't see wrf she would want to engage in the risk to do it Hmm

My MIL would have held the baby and had cuddles so I could have a cuppa, and had hers when the time was right.