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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister is having Christening right after my due date

257 replies

2stayor2go · 09/07/2018 13:43

Had to NC for this as I could be outing myself here.

Sister has been going on about how important it is for her for the whole family to be there at her son's christening. She's now just WhatsApped everyone in a group chat, saying that the event will take place 2 days after my due date.

This is my first child and so I told her, it probably wouldn't suit as I would either have given birth by then or risk going into labour. She's refused to change the date despite the fact that our brother can't make the event either.

She's texted me back expecting that we'd be there (me and DH), and if not, we could just transfer her the money for the food in case I'm giving birth. After the ceremony, she's booked a dinner-thing at a nearby restaurant, and would expect me and DH to pay £65 each even if we can't make it!

AIBU to think this is extremely cheeky? Our parents have expressed that they think my sister is in the right and that we might as well go if I haven't given birth!

OP posts:
WhiteWalkerWife · 09/07/2018 20:04

Your parents have a favourite by any chance? Hmm

Tell her 'thanks for thinking if us but we wont be able to make it. Looking forward to seeing pictures after'.

RideOn · 09/07/2018 20:13

I’d say no to meal! £130! I have never paid to attend a christening!

I’d say, if you are feeling well, you will make the actual christening if you haven’t given birth. But you won’t really know until the day prior. I wouldn’t commit to paying for meal, I think that’s a bit much. Even if you haven’t given birth you could still attend the christening, give them a gift and waddle home.

MsSquiz · 09/07/2018 20:16

Just tell her you politely decline the meal after the christening as you can't guarantee your attendance and neither you nor her should £130 out of pocket.

There's nothing stopping you attending the church part of the christening if you are able and hen just not going to the meal

BigPinkBall · 09/07/2018 20:17

My dd came on her due date so don’t think it can’t happen, and by that point my stomach was squished up by the baby so I could hardly fit any food in anyway! I’d just give it a miss if I were you.

abbsisspartacus · 09/07/2018 20:19

My first came early I was due to go on a family outing 5 days before my due date she ended up coming with us on the day because I had her early

MiniMimi00 · 09/07/2018 20:25

She is being unreasonable and your parents are enabling her sense of entitlement.
Does she have previous form for this sort of behaviour?

Say that you will attend the ceremony but only IF you feel able.

BewareOfDragons · 09/07/2018 20:26

That would be a no from me.

I would decline the invite, saying you can't guarantee you'll be there and you're certainly not paying £130 for a meal you won't be eating.

If she really wanted you, your DH and your brother there, like she professed to everyone, she wouldn't have scheduled it when she did.

CSISaraSidle · 09/07/2018 20:34

Firstborn babies are more likely to be born early, according to a study done in 2013 (can't remember the name). 15-16% are born late compared to 9-10% of non firstborn babies.

Most come at 39 weeks.

BlackberryandNettle · 09/07/2018 21:09

Is the christening local? If so, you could obviously go so long as still pre-labour. It might even be nice to get out. I'd opt out of the meal afterwards now though as you are unlikely to be very hungry, want to sit for long periods or lose £130!! If traveling nicer 45 mins is involved, that'd be a no as too close to delivery date.

BlackberryandNettle · 09/07/2018 21:10

Over not nicer!!

emmyrose2000 · 10/07/2018 04:05

My babies completely blind sided me and all came on their due dates, and I was out and about earlier on those days, but there's still no way I'd have committed to attending a christening, wedding or anything else around those times, especially if they required RSVPs and/or a financial outlay. Doubly so if I was expected to pay 65pp for a meal that I might not even eat!

Just give Sister a flat out 'no' RSVP now and forget about her ridiculousness. It wouldn't even occur to me to book a christening (or wedding) so close to my sibling's due date.

emmyrose2000 · 10/07/2018 04:12

She's refused to change the date despite the fact that our brother can't make the event either
Is there some massive backstory involving major sibling rivalry to account for the fact that both/at least two of her siblings can't make that date? Is your brother being given grief too for not being able to attend?

She's texted me back expecting that we'd be there (me and DH)
If you're in full blown labour are you supposed to just cross your legs until after the ceremony's over?

Sister has been going on about how important it is for her for the whole family to be there at her son's christening
Clearly it's not that important to her, or she'd have taken into account your impending birth, and your brother's availability.

Our parents have expressed that they think my sister is in the right
Is she their golden child? Thoroughly spoiled and always given into? I'd be telling my parents and sister to stick it!

Plumsofwrath · 10/07/2018 04:16

So she’s going to pay for everyone apart from you, because there’s a risk you might not make it so why should she have to cough up? Is that right?

I mean, fine if you were an addict with a history of never showing up to stuff because you’re off your face in a doss house somewhere. But seriously, “can’t make it because I’m in labour and literally having a baby” is something else. She and her DH are incredibly mean spirited. Frankly, I’d think they’d organised this specifically so I wouldn’t be there!

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/07/2018 04:33

A friend was full term at my wedding. The agreement was she came if she was able. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to ask to cover the cost of my plate.

Your sister is entitled and ignorant. She doesn’t really care about her family being there otherwise she’d not have chosen this date. She just cares about making people squirm and dancing to her tune.

SenoritaViva · 10/07/2018 05:58

Definitely don't go

Maybugger · 10/07/2018 06:12

Stupid female.
Presumably she knew when your baby was due months ago?
Prima Donna behaviour ☹️

MarshaBradyo · 10/07/2018 06:14

Ridiculous

MarshaBradyo · 10/07/2018 06:15

And
Why would anyone pay to attend a christening
What is wrong with people?
Do t pay

MarshaBradyo · 10/07/2018 06:15

Don’t

Sparklynails7 · 10/07/2018 06:23

I think it's cheeky for her to ask guests to cough up £65 for a meal, let alone demanding it from people who won't be attending! There's always a buffet at someone's house/hall/function room at all the Christenings I've been to! Have you spoken about your sister's unreasonable demands with your parents? What do they think?

justilou1 · 10/07/2018 06:27

Nope - if nobody else is paying, why should you? I'll bet there are other no-shows...
And if you do go, do you get your money back? I bet you don't.

zzzzz · 10/07/2018 06:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklynails7 · 10/07/2018 06:36

Oh wait just read the rest of the thread. Just say that you and your partner will try to attend the christening but you won't have dinner. That £130 should go towards your newborn.

Tjzmummabear · 10/07/2018 06:51

She's so jealous!

shakingmyhead1 · 10/07/2018 06:57

i think shes done this... so you will be so uncomfortable and she can bitch that the day isnt about you... or so she can bitch about you not turning up and trying to take all the attention off her baby... and heaven help you if you went into labor during the christening....

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